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Turkish Delight

Date: Tue, Jun 3, 2008 Internet



A couple of weeks ago i met this bird called Darya who in my slightly ball bagged state i originally thought was Swedish but its turns out she lives in Sweden and is actually Turkish lol. Anyways about 10 days ago we arranged to meet and went to a bar called Revolution and basically had a wicked time together. When i get the ladies into a heads up confrontation i can usually use all my psychological powers and we just clicked tbh, i didn't really have to force the action. We had quite abit in common although i had trouble explaining to her what implied odds were, how to make a squeeze play on the fishays deep in a tourn and what a check schummie all in on the semi bloof was with middle pair and a gootling! It was abit too much inforamtion tbh and so I didn't even bother getting into details about when the fish hit miracle runner runner rear fucking entry floosh's on ya when you flop top set. After Rev's we had a few more drinks in Kandy Klub, abit of a kiss and a cuddle (awww) and left it at that. I didn't see her for about another week or so because she was busy and i was getting balled in geordie land (bit more on that later) but we did arrange to meet for a second time....

On the second date she really wanted to play pool for some reason because apparently she used to be pretty good lol. She was staying in Watford for 3 months and had seen and been to all the clubs and bars and wanted to go somewhere different i think. So, being the romantic old deeevil i am i took her to Rileys to shoot some poolage. She was fucking shit!!! Why are birds sooo crap at virtually everything they do!! Her first question bless her was.... how do you hold a cue? I reckon even my housemate Scotch could have beaten her and he is fucking poop when it comes to playing pool. One thing that is tough when you play birds at pool is getting that kinda balance where you wanna look good and show her your pool skills etc but you don't wanna come across as an arrogant tosser and just thrash them! Also, you can't just blatantly miss balls and let them win, that's no good either and you have to look interested even though it can get fucking tedious when they can't even hit the fooking cue ball let alone the cue ball onto the object ball. I felt like a fucking teacher again and i was trying to teach her where to strike the balls and the angles etc. I made a few jokes sort of accidentally about how you need to lightly kiss the balls in certain spots which brought a cheekay little smile to both her face and mine. All i could think about whilst she was continually missing every shot was how i wished she was kissing my balls. We didn't get pissed this time as i was driving and again we had abit of a kiss and a cuddle (awwwww) and i took her home. Next time we met up was this Saturday just after i made that stupid drunken prop bet challenge (dickhead Jones) and i needed a drink so I took her out into Rickmansworth just for something different and we had the perfect night...

We went to a place called the Urban Vine where they had a live band playing and it was wicked. Im not usually into my live bands but these lot were pretty good and belted out loadsa top tunes. Darya's abit of a rock chick type of a bird and i love all that shit aswell and we just had a blast. After Urban Vine we had one in Staples bar and then went to Baraka in Watford where it was $25 fucking quid for entry and two vodka coke's, disgusting!!! We spent most of the time chewing each other faces off in Baraka, she's a wicked kisser. I hate it when birds either dont open their fucking mouth's fully or she just bite your head off, Darya was perfect. I had the raging horn all night and it felt like my 12 inches was gonna explode any minute.

She ended up staying the night at my gaff, finally a rump for Amatay!!! I ain't gonna go into details like i kinda have in some of my previous posts about past rumps so put your wank socks away you dirrrtay bastards. I thought she was gonna be really shy tbh but she had some good moves on her lol, another mis-read from Amatay. I really like her, she is beautiful imo, we get on great and it seems we have alot in common. She is back in Stockholm now and its unlikely i'll ever see her again, im abit gutted :-( I guess it would have been alot worse had i met her 3 months ago when she first came over to England. Oh well, we exchanged msn addy's etc, maybe i'll paths will cross again some time in the future who knows.

Quick little bit about Newcastle. I went there last weekend for two nights with 6 mates for a piss up and to celebrate Bill's 25th b'day. I can't be bovved to get into details and there's some stuff that happened there that i can't blog about but we had a wicked time, very funny. I was really surprised by Newcastle, i thought it was gonna be a dump but it looked really nice and modern. We stayed in a a travel lodge in Quayside by the Tyne. We basically got balled non-stop and had a right crack. Places i remember include Trebles, Baha, Sea errrr Fever. Oh, one thing that was shit is that we missed our train because we are all a load of cocks and had to fork out another 70 odd quid for another ticket, knobs! No one got any rumps out there (gay) but my mate Darren pulled a few milfs lol. He's a crazy bastard, he don't care. He pulls absolute stunner's and by stunners i mean immaculate looking birds but he's also rumped some birds that probably resemble summat like Kathay Liebert early in the morning after a heavy night out on the lash. Right, that's enough of writing this bullshit, i got some $33 SnGay's to play, laters.

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Amatay's Stupid $10k Prop Bet

Date: Sun, Jun 1, 2008 Internet

Ok, i've taken $1535 in bets, although the damage could have been alot worse. Good job YorkyPud came to the rescue and explained to my dumb ass that this was basically impossible, where the fuck were you on Friday lol. For those fish who don't realise how tough this challenge is go to sharkscope and click on the leaderboard down the left-hand side. Then, click on any game 5-6 seated, $16-$35 stakes, fetch, and then check out the fish called andyh26 for example. Oh well, nevermind, i just keeping pissing laughing myself tbh, you crazy cunt Jones. Click the link above for regular updates, laters

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Amatay's Stupid $10k Prop Bet

Date: Sun, Jun 1, 2008 Internet

Day 1

19.51pm - I haven't played 1 game as yet, hungover. Im gearing up for a late night :-)
23.07pm - Just played my first 4 games LMFAO. Won 3 of them ;-)

Day 1 Profit: $219
Total Profit: $219

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Fuckkkkkkkk. Mission Imposs!!!!

Date: Sat, May 31, 2008 Internet

All betting is closed, deffo lol. The fish below are the one's who have paid (i think) and are in. I've just realised that its almost impossible, i guess i should have done my research, doh! Im the laughing stock of the poker world!! After reviewing some stuff on Sharkscope (search the leaderboard) if i were to do this i would basically be the no. 1 SnG fish on FTP. Also, if i do pull this off then i should get a fucking contract as a FTP red pro lol. I'll do well to get near $7k i think. Oh well, at worst i reckon i make $5k, about $1k in rake back and lose about $1.5k in bets. Im off to go and get drunk with that Swedish bird i pulled the other week. Hopefully she'll suck my knob and ease the pain, laters!!!
EDIT: There is a sick part of me that still believes i can pull this off. However, i'll prolly be too hungover to play tomorrow so that's one day down the shitbox.

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Betting Closed For The Moment

Date: Sat, May 31, 2008 Internet

Let me just sort out who is in and who has paid and i might open the betting again. Leave a comment if you are interested.

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$10k Prop Bet

Date: Fri, May 30, 2008 Internet


Got ball bagged again last night and probably rather stupidly challenged some fish on the RTR forum that i could not make a $10,000 profit just from playing short handed 33 doll SnGay's on FTP in the month of June. Anyways, i've decided fuck it lets do this! Anyone wanna bet against me? Any amount between $5-$100 per person. You have to be someone who either has a regular blog, someone who often leave's comments and that i feel as though i can trust or a regular RTR or Blonde forum member. Of course you can all trust the Amatay :-)

I will keep you regularly updated on this blog about my progress or lack of it and you can also check my sharkscope stats, i ain't gonna cheat anyone. Adam, you said you would bet me $400 in the pub last night lol. You wanna put your money where your mouth is, $100 max??

Bearing in mind i have never made over $10k in one month in my life and that i am a lazy bitch, this is gonna be fucking tough. Shit, thinking about it wtf have i got myself into lol, ut oh. Here is who is in thus far:-

Kenn $100 - Paid Mik
Snake Eyes $100 - Paid Mik
VBM $100 - Paid Mik
Ace Filled Dreams $100 - Paid Mik
SirFWALGMan $25 ???????
Fuel $55 - Paid Mik
DaveShoeLace $100 - Paid Jizz
Horneris $100 - Paid Jizz
Lukybugur $50 - Paid Mik
Jamier-Host $100 - Paid Jizz
Kaja-Poker $25 - Paid Mik
UpTheMariners $100 - Paid Jizz
Ripple $50 - Paid Jizz
JonnyFish $100 - Paid Mik
M3Boy $100 ?????????
Bazclef $100 - Paid Jizz
Gothman $25 - Paid Mik
Millar $100 - Paid Mik
Felix $5 - Paid Mik
Stuart Hopkins $100 - Paid Jizz
Fat Afghan $100 - Paid Jizz
Edit: I didn't realise i would generate so much interest so quickly, im getting scared lol. So, seeing as the amount is rather rapidly (and slightly worryingly) increasing can you either send your money to BurnleyMik who basically runs the RTR forum and is very trustworthy, username - BurnleyMik on Stars and Big_miky on FTP or send your $$$ to jizzemm on Stars who is a well respected and regular poster on the Blonde forum. Once they have your money i will send them the same amount to cover your bet and each indivdual will hold the $$$ until the 1st July.

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Something in the Air...

Date: Thu, May 29, 2008 Internet

I feel abit different atm, can't really explain it. I ain't been online much in the last week and it feels goood, im pissed atm and im a free spirit, i can do what i fucking want, you gotta love that. I just feel meaga positive right now, i've got a massive boner!

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Anonymous Fish

Date: Tue, May 27, 2008 Internet


Anonymous comments usually don't bother me one bit, if they did i would just enable comment moderation and then delete them like some other blogs, no problem. However, the last annon comment on my previous post put me on monster tilt for some reason, it made me fucking angry. So, i thought id write a quick post to you simple annon fish.....

What alot a you fish don't really understand is that this blog is partly a piss take. Its a piss take of you the readers, don't you get it you stupid fucks? Im just having a laugh, i laugh at you fish, especially the anonymous cunts who leave the saddest of little gay comments. Some people may regard it as abit sad and kinda geeky that i keep a blog which is essentially a diary and i understand that and sort of agree lol. However, i write my blog because it amuses me, i don't take it seriously. I write it to keep track of my poker exploits and throw in shit that happens in my life. Its good to read back on and reflect upon things i have done in the past few years and also my mind state at the time of writing, i find that interesting. There's also something strangely satisfying about people reading and leaving comments on your blog, including you annon slutpigs.

Think about it fish, think about when you are sat in front of your computer reading some strangers blog (religiously, don't deny it) and leaving some sad message on how pathetic the writer is. IM TAKING THE PISS YOU COCKS! You're the pathetic cunts!!!! Seriously, at the time of reading that comment if i could have met the annon poster i would have taken your head off mate. Go back to the last post and read the comment and then think about it. Think about yourself huddled over your PC writing some 'clever' comment to someone who you know only as Amatay ffs lol, you sad twat ahahaha. At least someone like my fellow blogging extraordinaire cousin Kirby is funny most of the time but the fleeting anonymous mocking muthalicker is just proper gay. Ahhh this is funny shit, looking forward to more annon comments already, the abuse is gonna go to another level. Laters fish. :-)

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Don't Worry Fish!!!

Date: Mon, May 26, 2008 Internet



Sorry for the lack of updates fish but your blogging messiah has been oot n aboot with Swedish birds aswell as getting ball bagged in Newcastle for a few nights, wae'aye man! So apologises to all my loyal fans but don't panic fishays, I'll probably post about my shennanigoons in Toon Land, my Swedish twinkee, (who i later found out was actually Turkish, doh), and a few recent poker exploits soon when i can next be bovved, laters.

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Hot Date

Date: Wed, May 21, 2008 Internet


Hello fisheee's, I actually wish i had nothing to report pokerwise because no news as the saying goes is often good news well, unfortunately im still running worse than a three legged donkay on the cash tarbs. I have played two sessions, one small sesh winning about $120 and one decent sized sesh last night losing $470ish. Some of the beats were criminal, here is some of the evidence and some of the serial offending fishays....


Exhibit 1. This beat occurred quite early in the session to get me off to a nice 'relaxing' start. FFS

Exhibit 2. I might get slated for this one but fuck it. It happened exactly the same time as exhibit 1. I reraise massive here with AA because fish don't give me credit for having the boolets and will often call with hands like QQ KK and AK, so i kinda overplay them to get action. I hate making little suckee reraises aswell because its so obvious. My opponent here is no mug, he's a good player and when he calls i have him on KK QQ. The flop is siiiik for me. Perhaps i should be betting the flop but i just felt beat. Its possible he had AK or JJ or maybe even AA and was trying to trap me and also hated the flop. Thoughts??

Exhibit 3. I knew the slutpig was drawing and the turn wasn't great but there's a floosh draw out there aswell, what can you do?? Notice its the same muthalicker which his KK v my Q8 earlier, grrrr.

Exhibit 4. Im gonna get told off for playing the ol' 64 booted again but i call the $10 more pre-flop cause im 99% sure he has a big pair so i peel to break the mother, unfortunately he broke me, cunt!

Exhibit 5. One the last major beats of the night, there were a million small pots beats aswell btw lol. No 10, no 10, no 10, no 10....oh shit, runner runner J 8, MARVELLOUS!!

Copyright: Daniel Bellmont (private joke)

Here's a few pots where my hands actually held, hallelujah and praise the lord

Miracle 1: Played the booolets like a pro. This is what i mean about how fish are sooo aggro around the button these days. It never used to be like this at $1/2 full ring. I mean look at the bastard 3 betting me with the 59 of demons!! The only problem with me cold calling here is that i 'have' to go broke on alot of flops because he has such a wide range.
Miracle 2: Always bet your dooobel gooters babay. I can't believe he didn't re-raise me with on the flop with top two on that board. Whats more incredible though is the no 10 no K on the river, shipppp!

Right last hand, too many HH's get boring. This hand really pissed me off and probably illustrates why i might aswell stick to playing ABC. The hand probably looks like a shocker to some of you fish but the thing is i knew he had an overpair to the board once he makes that small value bet on the river and i knew that he knew that i probably had a hand like a small-mid pocket pair. For me to check raise him on the river indicates ultimate strength imo. This is something i would hardly ever do but i thought i'd experiment against a player who i thought would be capable of folding. Fat fucking chance of any of these bastards ever folding a pair, EVER! ABC Jones, ABC! I don't mind so much if the fish takes 5-10 seconds to study and then call but the muthalicker snap called in the time it takes my housemate Scotch to shoot his load when he's having a night of fun with his anal beads, nano fookings seconds!

Its not all doom n gloom on the poker front. I have turned a random 50 bucks in an old poker account into over $1k just from playing short handed SnG's. Im a fucking master at these things. I played a few $22's and built up the original 50 then crushed the $33 games. I think i won 5 or 6 on the bounce at one point. I reckon i might put the cash games on the back burner in June and see how much i can make from SnG's and MTT's, i have a good feel for the game and it might make me play abit stronger and with less fear seeing as its only chips and not real money. Check out my little Sharkscope record on FTP, username Amatay. If i played 1000 $33's a month that's $10k+ profit, woooooot.

Quick mention to Mr Cea. The bitch has been moaning and whinging at me for a while for me to give his blog a shout out so go read this piece of shit, lol. I mean lets face it there's only one blog out there worth reading tbh ;-) and no im not referring to Bluescouse you bastards. Oh, i also thought id give a mention to Cea fish because he pointed me in the direction of this rather interesting web site. Great find Mr Cea, you can't beat abit of Amateur pornographay!
Ok, onto the news regarding the title of this 'superb' post, hot date! Fuck me this is turning into a looong entry. Im going out with that Swedish sort that i got hold of last week for a few drinky pooh's in town and im actually abit nervous, awww bless the Amatation. Im usually a pretty confident fish when it comes to chatting shit but i guess the recent lack of social interaction with the outside world has taken its toll lol. There are a few potential problems.... number 1 i don't know her name ahahahhaha. Well i do, but i dont know now how to prononce it. However, im not even sure if she knows my name, she probably does as she wasnt drunk when me meet which bodes well for me but the thing is she keeps calling me teacher in her text messages. This is problem 2 btw that fact that i told her that i was a teacher and not a poker playing bum. I find people respond very differently when i tell them i play poker for a living so i think i told this Swedish bird that i am still a teacher. I think she also kinda likes it that im a teacher or as she spells it teatcher, thats problem no 3, her English ain't that great lol. It wouldn't be so bad if i travelled the world and played poker but im almost a 100% internet degen, nothing exciting about that. Fuck it, i might tell her im an international jetsetting poker playing entrepreneur who also does some part time work as a fire fightay or summat??? Ok, i think thats enough of this bullshit, im off to go and brush up on my Swedish, laters.

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What An Amazing Monday Morning!!!!

Date: Mon, May 19, 2008 Internet

What a smashing day! Its quite lovely isn't it?

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Missed Opportunity??

Date: Sun, May 18, 2008 Internet

I sometimes kinda feel like my opportunity to progress and move up limits and the poker ladder so to speak has passed me by. I feel like i have missed my chance, maybe not, hopefully not anyways. I have been playing my faggot $1/2 games pretty much since i started playing poker 3-4 yrs ago and i have been massively overolled for these games for much of this time. There was a period about 6-12 months ago when i was 4 tabling $2/4 and having the odd shot at $5/10 with good success but i somehow ended up going back to $1/2. Now that im playing poker for a living my roll is not as big as much of my winnings go on bills etc whereas my old teaching job used to take care of that so its even more difficult to progress through the poker ranks now. I dont even earn that much from these games atm, my confidence has been shattered and as a result im scared to log a decent amount of hrs. Im a faggot i know, cue the annon comments. Im running bad but im always honest and yep im not playing great either, LeCoq is right in most of the things he has said, there have been a few hands where i havent maximised value and a few other spots where i have just played shit. I can't have turned into a donk in the last few months? Maybe the standard has improved to such a large extent in the last yr and many of the fish have overtaken me? mmm, again im not convinced. I mean i made more dosh in February this year than in any previous month. Ahhhhhhhh, sooooo gay Jones, sooo GAY! I let mini bad spells really bother me sometimes, esp now its my living. Ah fuck it, i gotta stop being a poof, what sort of poker player am i?? Im a fucking wimp! Im gonna suck it up and hit the tarbles hard for the next 4-5 days and hopefully do the biz. Im then off to Newcastle for the weekend with about 7-8 mates for a random monster 2 day piss up, should be a good crack. Im gonna crush this week, please god let me crush, pleeeeeeeease.

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Sickness Personified

Date: Fri, May 16, 2008 Internet

I know i said the blog was suspended but whatever fuck it, blah blah fucking blah. Just played the most brutal 2 hrs i think i have ever encountered, virtually nothing went right, it was fucking disgusting, i feel sick to the very pit of my stomach.
I dropped over $600 in the first 20 mintues. Here i flopped 2nd set and lose. I had an idea he could have 99 when he flat called my $42 raise but what can you do??
I played this hand abit shit imo. My re-raise on the flop was quite small but i wanted action. I think i should have folded the river. FUCK!
I tried to slowplay AA here and i think it went horribly wrong. Im sure you fish are gonna slate me in this hand. Pre-flop i play it perfect because i think he folds to a shove, maybe i should have bet the turn. It looks like he sensed danger to me and fairplay he took the free cards. When the river comes i can only beat KK or something crazy imo and i dont think he's suddenly gonna blast the river with KK?? I mean he would have bet the flop or turn right? Im beat by QQ JJ and AK. FUCK FUCK FUCK!
I logged off after this 20 mintues to regain some composure and came back to it about 15 mintues later and started to fight my way back making over $400 so i was only stuck $200 odd when this happened, sigh. Im suprised he didnt raise on the flop or the turn with 77 with all the draws out there. Had he raised me on the flop i may have folded so i guess he risked it and got paid off to the max. FUCKER!
Can i find a fold here?? FFS!
This is one of the last hands i played. Again i sensed i was in trouble but its tough to fold. My opponent played it well and again risked a flush coming either killing his action or crushing his three jacks. Ice FUCKING cold!
I dunno what to do with myself atm, Im stunned im shell shocked, my heads fucked. I dropped $1k in total today in them 2 hrs. Maybe its an over reaction? FUCKKKKKKK! I can't bring myself to sit back down anymore, i expect to lose somehow everytime i play. It was a struggle to sit down today. I aint won a penny in over a week. I've gone 5-6 sessions either breaking even or losing which i think is my worst ever by quite some distance. Three losing sessions in a row for me is a rare but 5-6 is redic! Dropped $2.5k since last Friday. I hate this feeling, its horrible :-(

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Blog Suspended

Date: Tue, May 13, 2008 Internet

Woke up today and came across of couple of decent blogs that have both decided to stop writing i just thought yeah fuck it, i can't be bovved either anymore so that's that. Laters fish.

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