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The Dogs
Date: Sun, Jan 27, 2008 Internet
I went to Wimbledon Dogs last night with a bunch of other fish for my mate Nick's birthday. About 15 of us gotta minibus down there and although we missed the first three races it was a good crack, something abit different. Because im now known amongst friends as 'mr gamboooolar' i felt somewhat obliged to have slightly bigger and more riskier bets than everyone else. So after placing a tenner on the 4th race and getting butt fucked on the line for a nice early win i decided to up the stakes alitte whilst my mates were placing faggot £1 and £2 quid bets. For the remaining 9-10 races i was placing £18 bets on always trio combinations which basically involve picking 3 doggies from the 6 racing and hoping that the bastards all finish in the top 3 in any order, mmmm should be easy enough. Well, after about 5 races i was stuck just short of a ton grrrr. Its strange how it seems to piss you off that little bit more when its real money actually slipping through your hands as opposed to the dosh you jizz off in the cyber world. With 3 races left and with me slighty on tilt and alittle boozay i stuck another £18 trio always bet on the 3 faves in race 11 which gave me a win of £54, only a small return but finally a win ffs. Next race another £18 trio always bet but this time i didnt back all the favourites and boooooom £120 for Amatay. I bunged another score on the last race with no luck and finished the night up just over £50, i like this gamboling marlarky :-)
After the dogs most of us went out for more beers in Watford which was ok, nothing great. I bumped into my mate Rob aswell as that bird and her mates that i mentioned in a previous post who had named me Podium Boy lol. I thought i was on for some rumps but i ended up home alone and decided it would be a smart idea to play some pissed pokes. For some reason my game of choice was £.50/1 heads up poker on ShittyWoods. I really got into it actually and ended up playing some muthalicker from Miami for about 3 hours lol. I most have won about 75% of the pots against this fish but he won the majority of the biggish pots mainly from outrageous suck outs. Its weird when you play HU, kinda like the money dont matter anymore and it becomes sort of personal, i really wanted to bust this bastard for every penny he had lol. The coount doubled through me a few times but i knew i was the better fishee. So, despite being desperate for a piss i continued to play him and eventually grinded the biatch from £220 down to £25. I politely asked the stupid yank to wait for one mintue and i'll be back because my bladder could no longer take the pain. After pissing like a racehorse i returned to find that my new American friend had vamoooshed. BASTARD, i knew he was gonna do that, I wanted that last £25 lol. His name was Glennsan if any of you fish want some 'free' money, hopefully i'll see him at the tarbs again soon. I ended the night with a profit of £82, the rakes a killer playing HU and eventually i went to sleep at about 8am lolol.
The night before my dogging adventures i played a load of HU, SH and mainly FR poker on pp. It was probably my most unluckiest night of the year thus far, utter sickness. It should have easily been a $1k+ night but i ended up with a $50 loss on the cash tarbs aswell as busting in two MTT's costing $125 combined. However, a $200 bonus and $50 for pp points meant i finished the night with about an $80 profit. Annual winnings now stand at $5,550, hopefully i can get this above the $7k mark before the end of the month, latay.
EDIT: Cant sleep blah blahhhhh. Played and won the bloggerment tonight and for some reason just pissed about playing 1 tarb of $1/2 on ShiityWoods and lost $200 whilst chatting to that fish Tim aka BrainChylde from RtR. I had this one hand that has really pissed me off tonight. Here is the hand. Tim the fish thinks i probably made a bad fold, maybe's he right. WTF do you fish do in this spot in a cash game? I know all about hand ranges blah blah blah and what he's possible holdings are etc. The fish had just joined the tarble and i have never played the coount before so no information in that respect. Whats your play here? Narena, Cottlad, State0fmind and any other fish that read this ghey blog i would appreicate your comments please. JJay, with all due respect you don't need to bother m8 ;-) lol. Night world.
Amatay's Office
Date: Thu, Jan 24, 2008 Internet
Thats right fishays its Friday wahoooo, although most days feel like a Friday for me atm lol, dunno whether thats a good or a bad thing? Anyways, since this post i made just over a week ago alot of you fish have asked me whether that is indeed my real living quarters!!! Outrageous that some of you fish could think that i live like that! So, seeing as i cant sleep and also the fact that i am a very sad boy here is a quick snap of my actual pokay set oop allowing you a small glimpse into Amatay's world lol.
I have only just recently purchased the bard boy 22" monitor and used to play all my pokes on the lappy but its much better now. If you look closely you will notice the small pokay libraray in the background :-)
Not played a great deal since my miserable fish post lol. Im ok atm btw, everyone has their off days. Went to the gym on Tuesday then out for a few beers with a load of mates in the evening, all of whom either support the dirrrrtay gooners or them filthay yiddo's. It was quite funny watching them goons get walloped but i think i hate Spurs more if thats poss. After the footay we had a few more beers and i nearly got trollified again. Thank fook i didnt because i had to take my college football the next day for an important Quarter Final match versus SFX. The day started very badly as I had a mini hangover plus we only had 10 fucking players, nightmares. Luckily enough two more of the bastards arrived just in time for kick off although they needn't have bothered because we were 1-0 down after 10 seconds, no jokes. We got smashed in the first ten minutes but rode our luck, got back into the game and managed to get to half time still trailing only 1-0. Coach Amatay then gave a rousing half-time team talk and we ended up winning 2-1. We won the game in the last min and i had a great buzz when the final whistle went. I do enjoy running the team, their a good bunch. Gotta chance in the semi-final aswell i reckon, fingers crossed.
On the poker front i didnt play Tues and only played one of those ghey $22 headhunter things on ShittyWoods on Wed as i was too fooked after football. I managed to cash but busted when my pocket neufs were no good for pock 5's aipf grrrr. Today i have spent about 5 hours on the cyber felt and was ticking along nicely making about $500 after 3 or so hours and then busted it all within an hour. I did however make a comeback and finshed the session with a $250 profit aswell as $50 bucks worth of pp points. Annual profit back at $5,300, gonna play some more tomorrow, laters.
Miserable Fish
Date: Mon, Jan 21, 2008 Internet
I feel like a proper cunt today, abit down in the dumps, abit moody, I dunno whats wrong with me? I just get these crazy mood swings now and again. One day im up and buzzing the next day i just feel kinda flat. Today i didn't wake up until 2.30-3.00pm something which can sometimes leave me feeling blue. I went to the gym but still felt like shit and I didnt hit the tarbs until midnight lol. Where the fuck did today go? Thats what makes me miserable sometimes i think, the feeling that i im wasting away lol. Its because i aint really moved for the last 3 days, thats why i feel shit. Saturday i was just minging and hungover, Sunday i played poker for fucking hours and had my first losing session of 2008. I only lost $450ish but its still a bastard. I only played for about 30 mins tonight but im just not feeling it mentally so i logged off with a $100 profit. I also cashed in about $85 in pp points so my monthly profit is just over $5k. Arghhhhh snap out of it Jones you prick, wtf is wrong with you. CUNT!
EDIT: Been thinking lol. I know why i feel like shit, like i said above, its the last 3 days and doing nothing basically, especially when i could be doing stuff. When you play poker for a living discipline is sooo important more so off the tarbs than on them i reckon. I need a better structure and a bit of a better routine. I know this anyways, stop being ghey you twat. I need a fucking shag too!! Been a good few months now. Anyone out there fancy a shag?? Liebert? Coren? Annette_15? Im desperate!!!!!! Roofer?? ;-)
Podium Boy
Date: Sat, Jan 19, 2008 Internet
Done my usual last night and got smashed on Stella's and aftershocks, exactly what i said i wasn't going to do last week. Im such a twat, why do i do it to myself? Because i love it, thats why lol. I just kinda forget about the consequences and get ball bagged. Of course today has been an absolute blow out again. It weren't even that good of a night tbh, just me Scotch and Rob. The most amusing part of the night was finding out from Rob that a few birds he knows who are mates with some bird i rumped refer to me as podium boy lol. This is because i ended up shagging this bird in a club underneath a podium a few years ago ahahah. It made me laugh anyways, i've been called worse names lol.
Because i have been so mashed today i ain't played any pokes, i cant when im hungover. I played one tourn on BlueSq for a laugh with a few fish from RTR. It was called the APAT Slovenian Open and was an $11 buy in. It was a pretty good structure actually and i ended up busting 28/100 in a pot to go 2nd in chips with AK v AQ when the AQ slut made a floosh, grrr. Reminds me why i play cash and why i HATE mtt's. Gonna put in a big session tomorrow i think, profit for the year currently stands at $5300 and should be a few grand extra if i had played more i reckon, laters.
Not Feeling It
Date: Fri, Jan 18, 2008 Internet
I've gone from being 'in the zone' to playing with hardly any concentration and basically playing bored shitty poker in less than 24 hrs lol. Today i have just minced about and then played for one hour before logging off boreddddd. Not feeling it at all today. I called a raise with J2o pre by accident and then proceeded to bluff unsuccessfully at the flop. I also misread two of my hands believing i had flopped top two pair instead of bottom two and donked off a few bucks as well as checking a full boat on the river, durrrrrr. However, i managed to catch a few flops playing head up versus one horrible fish from Armenia lol, abit of short-handed action and the usual full ring shenanigans making a total profit of $400. Almost half of that profit was mainly the result of this little beautay. I've busted this fish soooo many times i've lost count ahahaha. Fucking hell im bord. I need to find some fish to go out with tonight for beers galore, gonna ring round in a min i think. I've had 5 wanks today im that bord lol, nah jokes, i've only had the 4. BORED BORED BORED
In The Zone
Date: Thu, Jan 17, 2008 Internet
Played decent poker tonight but i only made about $250 in 7 hrs (longest session for months) as opposed to $500+ on Tuesday in the half the time. For the first 5 hrs or so of tonights action i was really in the zone but the deck just wasn't co-operating with me at all. I saved myself alot of money by making some good folds today. He's a couple of them for your viewing pleasure and also so i can show off abit :-) Hand 1 & Hand 2. For me they are both really easy folds, especially hand 1 where i was pretty much done with the hand on the turn and probably the flop actually. Hand 2 was alittle tougher but i was pretty sure the fishay had 888 or JJJ. The fish showed me both their holdings on each of the hands which made me feel pretty good. Thing is i have been sooo in the zone recently that i sometimes give the fish too much credit. I had one hand in which i flopped a set of 5's on a 59A bord and folded when i thought i was dead and the fish said he had A9 although he didnt show. Oh well, nevermind. I also cashed in about $50 doll's worth of PP points tonight and my profit for 2008 now stands at $4.9k, im pretty content with life right now, its all groovay.
Yesterday i didnt play a single hand but spent much of my time fucking about with my a new toy that i brought. I got a phat 22" monitor to help me play my poker! It extends onto my lappy and has improved the playability and my comfort level ten fold. Oh btw, the pic in the last post of 'my poker setup' isnt my real gaff btw lol. Fuck me, most of you fish probably (hopefully) knew that it was a joke anyways but i had a couple of peeps who actually thought it was for real!! I am kinda fond of them curtains but my gaff looks nothing like that. Im quite a tidy fish most of the time, although i do have my work cut out in trying to keep my place clean what with living with that messy ginger coount Scotch. BTW Scotch you still need to buy me another fecking toilet seat you bastard. The muthalickers now broken two of them ffs!
Right im off, gonna try and play a few more hours tomorrow then im meant to be going to The Victoria for some live poker action, we'll see. Cya feesh.
Not Playing Great But Winning
Date: Tue, Jan 15, 2008 Internet
I've done ok the past two days in terms of profit but i am playing alittle too ghey for my liking atm. I managed to get up early doors on Monday and play about 2.5-3 hrs late morning/early afternoon and made $230. I had one hand which particularly pissed me off for some reason. I've asked 3 peeps about it already, all of whom i respect and one said call, one said fold and the other said errr not sure, fuck knows lol. One thing i do know is if i could return to the hand i call, purely to satisfy my curiosity if anything else, i was probably good anyways. I will discuss my ghey thought processes on the hand after you fish have ripped me to shit lol. Here is the hand.
This hand combined with a few other smallish lost pots made me abit tilty so i logged off for some munch. Also my back was fucking hurting aswell lol. I really do need to improve my poker set up at home now im a full time fish as you can see in the pic below, although i suppose i do have a bard ass duel monitor set up and some shit hot curtains!!
After lunch i played for one more hour and made another $300 on the cash tarbs but busted nowhere in an $26 tourn on FTP, my tourn game needs improving. I also managed to get my lazy ass in the gym too.
Today, i woke oop early and went to the gym again and then played about 3.5 hrs on the cash tarbs. I weren't happy with my game at all this afternoon. In fact i think its the worst i have played this year. I missed ALOT of value today. However, i was lucky that the deck smashed me in the face, i must have flopped about a million sets, at least lol. I managed to make $466 and also received a further $43 bucks from my rake back on FTP for the faggot SnGays i played when i was ill. So the last two days and around 7 hours of play has brought about a decent $1k profit which is very welcome, although it should be double that imo. Earnings for 2008 now stand at $4600. Dunno if i'll play anymore today, i might just chill plus i've gotta 5 a side footy match later. The picture is of a bird called Megan Fox btw, she's the bird in that Transformers film. She's perfect! I'd even go as far as to say she is better looking than the Liebert although its a close one. Laters fish.
Spaced Out
Date: Sun, Jan 13, 2008 Internet
I am proper fucked atm, i think the alcohol has done some long term damage to my brain this time, im serious, im spaced out man. I've been awake all through the night from midnight up until now (3pm). I feel like im in a time warp or summat, really strange. I feel like im proper stoned off some supa strong fucked up smelly green shit lol, its weird, like i have been drugged. I have barely moved in the last 15 hours and have barely played any poker either. Im just sat here staring at my laptop lol. I just played a few mincey $20 and $30 HU games on FTP but couldn't really concentrate and ended up with a tiny loss. There's no point in playing any poker today, my brain feels empty. Gonna make myself a bad ass fry up now, hopefully that will sort me out. This is a tune btw!!!!!!!!
EDIT: My fry oop has made me feel sick :-(
Wipe Out
Date: Sat, Jan 12, 2008 Internet
I really need to stop drinking Stella, Sambooka and Aftershocks when i go out, today has been an absolute wipe out. I went out with my mate Rob last night and it was a good crack as i hadn't seen that fish for a while and he's always got a few funny stories. We shot some pool in Riley's and then went to a couple of bars and i ended up getting proper ball bagged. I hadn't really planned to get too messy but it just kinda happened and I feel like utter shit today. Woke up at about 2pm for an hour and then went back to bed until around midnight lol. I think i went abit blind earlier and felt partially paralysed for about 10 minutes, i couldn't fucking move lol. I get the worst fooking hangovers, i just die the next day, nightmares.
Before my drunken antics yesterday i managed to play about 2hr on the cash tarbs making a 420 doll profit. Earnings for 2008 now stand at just over $3.6k. Slowly getting to grips with Poker Tracker now and according to most of my stats im a weak passive nit lool, fuck knows how i beat this game? I only have stats for a new account on PP and have made just over $1.7k in 3.6k hands and my current bb/100 is 12.14 which is apparently massive lol. Hopefully i can continue with my winning streak, laters fish.
EDIT: Its now 11.00am on Sunday morn and i have been up all night. I don't know wtf i have doing in the last 11-12hrs either, my brain is mashed. I've mainly just been staring into space i think lol. Not played any poker and just pretty much surfed the net and watched a few fishee's online. I paid just one visit to RedTube i think and munched a shit load of grub to make up for a lack of nourishment in the last 24 hrs lol. Im such a waster sometimes.
Part Timer
Date: Thu, Jan 10, 2008 Internet
35-40+ hours a week??? ahahahaha, don't make you laugh Jones you joker, you've got more chance of fitting a whale your arse mate! I used to be able to play 8-12 hour sessions but i just cant be bovved anymore. Yesterday i said i was gonna hammer the tarbs today, yeah good one, I simply don't have the motivation atm lol. Its a good job im doing quite well so far this year ain't it.
Today i managed to haul my lazy ass out of bed at the leisurely time of 11.30am (very good for me). Fuck knows what i did for the next 4 hours of my life because i didnt hit the tarbs until 3.30pm. I played for a total of 2 hours and managed to make a $437 profit. I then spent one hour in the gym before playing another one hour at the cash tarbs this time making a $297 profit. So, $734 profit for 3 hours 'work' not too shabby. Profit for 2008 now stands at $3200 so its all going well i guess.
Finally managed to get round to sorting out Poker Tracker for the first time in my life yesterday lol. I should have got this poker aid a long loooong time ago. An online buddy from the RTR forum sorted me out PT for free, cheers mate and Cadmunkey gave me some tips on how to use it, cheers fish. I reckon PT is definitely going to help me win more $$$ and improve my game alot, im a prick for not purchasing it abit earlier tbh, about 3 yrs earlier actually lol, oh well. If anyone has any sites that they use or that they are aware which tell you the recommended stats and values etc it would be really helpful if you could point me in the right direction. For example, my BB/100 is 10.66 over 3000 hands at nl200. Wtf does that exactly mean? Is that good? My flop AF is 4.69, again good/bad? I appreciate that these figures are only over a small sample size but like i said if anyone can give me some advice i'd really appreciate it.
Right im off, i might hit the tarbs for a few hours tomorrow then im off out to get rat arsed so i'll probably miss the RTR game tomorrow (lucky for you fish), laters.
EDIT: Your a lazy bum Jones! Make some money you fish, poker can't last forever.
Quick Self Rant!
Date: Wed, Jan 9, 2008 Internet
Get busier Jones you COCK! Number one, play more poker! I'm supposed to be playing 35-40+hrs a week but I've barely played more than 20 hours so far this year i reckon. Number 2, do more exercise you lazy slut pig! I managed to go to the gym today but prior to that i have only been on two other occasions so far this year, not good enough. I feel so bloated atm and feel as though i look abit like one of those blow fish things, hence the picture lol. Number 3, i need a rump!!! I've gotta get back in the game and get some more action lol. I was on a good little run a few months ago but i have come into another little dry patch recently party because i just can't be bovved. Brings a whole new meaning to the word laziness when you can't be bovved to rump ahaha, sort it Jones. I mean anyone will do as long as they have gotta pair tits, that don't include include you btw Adam although i have always admired your perk little hairy man boobs ahaha. Seriously though, get busy Jones! Poker, gym, rumps. Poker, gym rumps, Poker, gym, rumps (not necessarily in that order). Energy, energy, energy!
Today i went back to work for the first time after my early retirement from the working world about 3 weeks ago. I still run the mens first football team which is kinda cool as it gives me something different to do aswell as keep in touch with my former work mates. We had a really important but tough game today as i mentioned in my previous post. Despite taking the lead twice we ended up drawing with last seasons double winners and this season current league leaders Merton. It was a decent result and at least it still gives us a chance of going one better this season and winning the league. It keeps our season alive anyways which was crucial and we still have the cup QF next week so its all good.
On the poker front i have only played 2 hrs since my last post making $75 yesterday morning playing 3-4 tarbs of $1/2. It could have easily been closer to $500 had some muthalicker not called my allin turn bet with a floosh draw and hit for a $400 doll pot. After the hand the slutpig apologised in the chatbox saying that he had called by accident when his screen popped up so i kindly asked him to send me my money back but i got no joy lol. If i could have got hold of that fish after he had sucked out on me i probably would have stabbed him up in the most violent and brutal way possible. Nah jokes, i was quite cool and calm about it tbh, i usually am, grrrrr. Doubt i'll be hitting the tarbs tonight, too tired although i am gonna hammer them tomorrow. Remember Jones, poker, gym, rumps, poker, gym, rumps. Laters fish.
I'm A Mess!
Date: Mon, Jan 7, 2008 Internet
My sleeping patterm is soooooo fucked atm!!!!!! Went to bed about 2pm on Monday and woke up about 2hrs ago at 3am Tuesday morning. I've just eaten what i think is meant to be my dinner from Monday night and im wide awake! lol. Not played any poker since my last post, might play abit in a minute. Im a complete mess ahahahaha. Im losing track of what fucking day it is lol, it is Tuesday ain't it? I've got aload of things that need sorting out too. I still aint re-mortgaged my gaff which is really improtant especially as i dont have Job anymore plus i've got monies flying about all over the place and im losing track of what i have and what i dont lolol, i think i know? Nightmares. Also i have got to go back to work on Wednesday as my college footy boys have a very important top of the tarble clash with our arch rivals Merton and im not exactly prepared for that. Oh the stress of being a full time fish. Cya fish.
Enjoying My New Job lol
Date: Mon, Jan 7, 2008 Internet
I know its early days but i was really buzzing this morning. Normally i would have been back at work today for the start of the new spring term but instead im sitting here at home in my spunk stained pants having just knocked off a comfortable $900 doll profit after playing through the night. Felt like i played some solid poker, really focused and really fresh. It feels good, actually it feels great.
On Saturday all i done was go to the gym, watch that film Transformers (robots in disguise) and play two faggots $33 SnGays, busting in both. I then slept for about 20+ hours lol and woke up about 10pm ish on Sunday night. I think i must have played about 5-6 hrs in total, not sure. I played five $33 SnGs (1st, 2nd, 1st, 5th, 2nd) for a $195 profit aswell as 4, 5 and 6 tarbelling the $1/2 cash tarbs on PP making about $550 and also clearing a $150 bonus. Profit for 2008 thus far is $2.4k. Life is good atm :-)
On Saturday all i done was go to the gym, watch that film Transformers (robots in disguise) and play two faggots $33 SnGays, busting in both. I then slept for about 20+ hours lol and woke up about 10pm ish on Sunday night. I think i must have played about 5-6 hrs in total, not sure. I played five $33 SnGs (1st, 2nd, 1st, 5th, 2nd) for a $195 profit aswell as 4, 5 and 6 tarbelling the $1/2 cash tarbs on PP making about $550 and also clearing a $150 bonus. Profit for 2008 thus far is $2.4k. Life is good atm :-)
Chill Winston
Date: Sat, Jan 5, 2008 Internet
Just been to the gym and i've been thinking, i need to chill out lol. Im a pretty laid back fish anyways but im slightly edgy atm in regards to my poker exploits on the cyber felt. Every game whether it be a cash game or a little faggot SnG is sooo much more intense for me now, just chill out Jones lol. I mean im concerned atm that i have only made $1500+ so far this year. FFS Jones thats fine you cock, you could have easily been stuck $1500 you tool. Its not as though i have even played that much either. I will play alot more when i start to get back into some sort of a routine, probably on Monday when most of you poor fish go back to your day jobs lol. Also $1500 is around half of what i was earning a month in my old job so reeeeelax, take it easay. Actually, fuck it, i might have the next 10 days off babay, i need a holiday ahahahaha.
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