Poker Blogs by Popularity

Poker Blogs by Type

Poker Blogs by Wonk

Recent Blogs

Write about Poker. Read about Life. Welcome to PokerWonks.com.

Baseball and ancient rock stars

Date: Wed, Aug 27, 2008

August 26, 2007

MEMO to Jimmy Rollins: The best team won.

Yes, it's still the dog days of August and the Mets New York Mets have to travel to beautiful Philadelphia tomorrow, but the NL East race is over.


Kevin Kernan - NY Post
One year ago yesterday Kevin Kernan of the NY Post wrote an article stating that the race was over with the Mets up 7 games with a month to go. Lucky for the Phillies fans that Kernan doesn't know the sport he covers and we saw the beginning of the greatest comeback / collapse in baseball. Thank god I'll never have to hear about the '64 Phillies fold ever again.

Last night's game was fun to watch as the Mets bullpen coughed up another huge lead that even kept BigMike's interest and he hates baseball. You've got to feel pretty bad about your bullpen when the other team feels confident enough to send up two starting pitchers in a pinch hitting role.

There's still a good chance the Phillies will watch the playoffs from the golf course because this team isn't nearly the same one as last year but it's still a ton of fun to watch the angst in the faces of Mets fans. It was probably a long train ride back home last night for the metropolitans.

~

I have a great story from this weekend that I'm working on. Just can't get my mind around it quite yet. It's been a long time since I've done a 48 bender that didn't involve Las Vegas, Key West or New Orleans. This time is was a combination between going back to my original drinking grounds and surviving 2 long fantasy football drafts at the pub on Sunday. Saturday night I threw down some beers with Britny Fox drummer Johnny Lee and BS'd about the old days when you could find a decent rock club in the city where owners didn't give all their money to unoriginal cover bands. And we also knocked back a crap load of shots. Old "rock stars" apparently numb that pain of playing 200 seat bars by drinking every bottle of Jager available.

I never slept Saturday evening and went straight to the pub at 9:30 Sunday morning feeling much better than my compatriots that evening. A couple FFL drafts later and I was still cruising along to the point where I ended up watching the sunrise from my back deck.

This is my spring training for The Bash. Need to stretch the liver and remind him of his place in life.

~

The Mookie tourney tonight and the Riverchasers game on Thursday. I plan to make both games especially tonight to watch Waffles get so close to winning his prop bet only to choke it up because he's more concerned with his WoW rating.

Cheers to my soccer loving friends (do I always have to say NSFW when linking pics or is it just a given now? NSFW)

Tournament: The Mookie
When: Wednesdays at 22:00ET
Game: Deepstack NLHE with Knockouts
Buyin: $12+1
Password: vegas1

Tournament: Riverchasers Online Tour
When: Thursdays at 21:00ET
Game: Deepstack NLHE
Buyin: $10+1
Password: riverchasers

Dead Money = Sir AlCantHang - 2008-08-22

Date: Fri, Aug 22, 2008

Busy wrangling up FTP guest posts and deciding who will be getting my drinking dollar this weekend. It seems a trip is planned back to my old stomping grounds in Delco where I learned the art of being a ridiculous drunk.

Here's where I'll be playing this weekend.

Cheers.




The Pub Olympics

Date: Wed, Aug 20, 2008



Thanks to Kat and Mookie for the flyer help


That's the front of the flyer currently circulating around my little town. I'm papering the town with them. I'm in the final stretch for the planning. Anything not completed in the next few weeks just won't get done. Riggstad has hooked us up with the golf course for the tournament Friday afternoon and the room for the charity poker game that evening (wait til you players see the food spread). The invites are going out, the band is confirmed, the entire bar staff is at "drunk boot camp" and my liver seems to be functioning properly. I'm still waiting on a few confirmations but we're going to have quite a crew on hand.

For those coming into town and need rooms, I wasn't able to secure a group rate but here are my recommendations. We will have a shuttle running between the hotels and Bash.

Main Stay Inn - this place will not win any awards for best hotel on the planet. It's a small private hotel that really only has one benefit. It's a 50 yard walk from the Pub door to door. Stumbling distance at it's best. Probably the best option since you won't have to worry about blowing chunks in front of your friends on the shuttle ride back.

Marriott Collegeville - certainly better accomendations than the local hotel but you'll have a little less flexibility. The shuttle will be running on a regular basis and always available if you need to "run for the border". And by border I mean passout like a BoyGenius in G-Vegas. Low blow?

Hampton Inn Valley Forge - the next option about the same distance from the pub just in a different direction.

There you have the best options. If it was me I'd go for the cheap place across the street but that option will probably sell out quickly, it's just not that big. As we get closer drop me a line and let me know your agenda.

~

Five more people I think should make the trek to tiny little P-Ville at the end of September for pure degeneracy.

Iggy - The Blogfather has yet to make a Bash and that almost seems like a crime (although showing up in Key West last year trumps all else). It's a gathering that offers little other than the chance to get wasted with some of your invisible internet friends. I've even ordered up an extra tall booster seat for the barstools so he can see over the rail and extra kegs of Guinness.

Daddy - I don't know if my town could handle Daddy running around but it would be a fun thing to see. He'd probably eat his own body weight in scrapple. Besides all that, the donkeys around here are getting awfully complacent, that would change if they knew Daddy was showing up with a length of rope and a 2x4.

Jordan - I think Jordan set the record at the last Bash for most hands of poker played without a break in his drinking. He might have been the polar opposite of TripJax who played the least hands on his way to the Drunken Lewey award. I'd love to see Jordan make the trek down with the other NYC contingent.

GCox - I'm still honked off that I missed Okie Vegas this year and if he came out here I'd be sure to make it up to him. Maybe even find him a nice karaoke bar to practice his trade. And P-Ville LOVES mullets.

Carter - I already know Carter won't be making the trip and it's a shame. Since I started this crappy little site, Carter has not missed a single Bash. The only blogger to accomplish that feat. The man slept alongside the Skukill Expressway after an all night Borgata poker binge (more dangerous than you could ever now), passed out while a big'un was kissing on him and had to craw under a car after pissing off an entire bus full of drunken idiots. Those are his highlights just off the top of my head. Carter will be missed.

~

So we already have a golf tournament planned for Friday afternoon. A charity poker game Friday evening. Stupid crazy drinking Saturday evening. Seems like there is a spot open on Saturday afternoon.

There was already a ton of planning involved with the Bash and things have been crazy the last few weeks. What with quitting my real job to do something completely irresponsible. There were some things I had in mind that just never got flushed out or I lost track of. Today Drizz reminded of me of something silly I was considering. All these drunken louts in the same bar and the same time with too much time on their hands. People from around the country looking to unwind. Why not have a little friendly insanity-filled competition? The last Bash we had the Beer Pong tournament, this year something bigger and different. After close consulting with Otis, captain and champion of the Drunk Olympics, I present to you...

The 2008 Pub Olympics

Saturday afternoon before the Bash. Whoever happens to be in town is invited to join us in making complete fools of ourselves as we take advantage of the entertainment currently available at the pub. We're taking names for anyone who would like to be involved. We'll set up teams and a draft beforehand so I need to know who wants in. This is the warm up to the party that evening and will get everyone in the mood for some proper drinking. I haven't decided whether there will 2 or 4 teams, depends on the interest I get in people ripping up the pub beforehand.

- Shuffle board. The pub has a brand new full length shuffle board. 2 players each side, plenty of prop betting opportunities.

- Buck Hunter Safari. I personally want Drizz one-on-one in this game. I may never have picked up a hunting rifle in my life but get a couple cocktails in me and I'm unstoppable.

- Darts. 301, 501, cricket. Who knows, the only time I've played darts is under a drastic influence.

- Ms. PacMan - Galaga. This one is for the old folks who actually remember how to play these games. I suck the big one.

- Pinball wizard. There's got to be a twist, BobbyBracelet has such a supple wrist.

- Buffalo Wing eating contest. 20 wings, suicide. First one done without chunking wins.

- Irish Carbomb relay. Seems simple enough as the final event. Whoever drafts BigMike has the best anchorman in the business.

Events considered but ultimately rejected because MilwaukeeSteve will not be there and I'd rather not kill anyone at the party.

- Shot Chicken. Heads up picking a shot for the other person. First person to say "I'm not doing that!" loses. No "bar rag shots" allowed.

- Drunken Marathon. One shot, one beer every half hour starting at noon. That's the potential for 28 shots and 28 beers from noon til 2am. Followed shortly by death of only the heartiest.

- Drunk Girl Pickup. Nixed because The Rooster is an auto-lock for that win unless Bracelet makes a showing. Bobby is a proven veteran when it comes to picking up drunk girls at the Bash.

There's your list of "events" at the moment. Drop a comment or an email if you want to be on the draft list. It's open to everyone. I think we might have to limit the number of cameras in the venue or we'll spend the next 4 weeks trying to get incrementating "evidence" off of YouTube. For the record, the nearest hospital is less than a mile away.

Make it happen!

After some research I have discovered that Foxsports Channel will be showing a Chelsea and an Arsenal match early Saturday. Just another reason to hit the pub early. We also have the option of executing The Procedure with BadBlood before the festivities.

~

Finally a video from Dr. Pauly. He put up this "homage" earlier in the year when I was getting the contest nut crunch from work and had to shut my site down. I don't think I ever posted it and just saw the entire thing for the first time recently.

It's a little embarrassing in a navel gazing way but it made me remember about some of the really stupid things I've done of the years.

Thanks to the Doc
.



RSS readers click here

More Random Crap

Date: Tue, Aug 19, 2008

I had a sweet run at the tables this weekend that was bound to end sooner rather than later.

The moment I won the ticket to FTOPS #24 I should have pocketed the T$'s and shut it down. I won that seat, final tabled Pauly's PLO game then my game promptly went right in the shitter. If I begin to tell the bad beat stories I would owe the universe a pocket full of one dollar bills. It's just a cruel trick played by Mother Variance but last night I had to stop mid-tournament and get loaded.

One of the many benefits of playing from the bar is simply closing the laptop and begging the bartender for two pints of Southern Comfort. Neat please. Some vague law about not serving an entire bottle prevented my immediate intoxication but two straight doubles and giving an earful to the poor kid playing mexican love songs on the jukebox fixed me up just fine.

That didn't stop me from returning to the tournament and promptly donking off the rest of my chips, I just didn't give a rats ass anymore.

~

I've also found a new way to get into shape. Earlier this summer Pennsylvania joined the rest of the lung-hugging, morality-legislating world by passing a smoking ban. It's a long walk from the bar to the front door, I get a little exercise and definitely smoke less. That doesn't mean I still don't wake up in the morning and think the cat shat in my mouth. That's probably because I sit on my back deck til 5 in the morning making up for lost smokes.

~

One of the positives of working from home now is I've been able to catch the Olympics. Before the start of the games my interest was basically zero. I wouldn't go out of my way to watch most of the sports but there have been some compelling stories.

- Rowing might be the world's most boring sport, badminton was more exciting.
- I watched that poor weightlifter snap his elbow (thank god they finally took the video down so I can't repost it).
- I was really hoping for a throw down between the US and Chinese baseball teams.
- Competitive trampoline makes absolutely no sense to me.
- I don't think anyone from women's water polo will be invited to post for Maxim any time soon.

UPDATE #1 - CJ points out that I may have missed a water polo player worthy of note. Rita Dravucz. She's pretty fine, but understand this is what I was looking at the entire time.

- I thought women's beach volleyball was the Olympic version of porn until With Leather brought us this picture from women's wrestling. No exactly The Shocker but pretty damned close. You know you want to make that your screensaver.

UPDATE #2 - This needs to be an Olympic sport. Hurricane Kite Sailing.

But the games will be done soon and I'll be forced to return to Arena Rock for my background noise.

~

I've spent the last few weeks getting some guest posts up on Full Tilt's Poker from the Rail site. I don't generally mix business with personal but there is some really solid stuff up there and it deserves to be read. Thanks to the guys who have shown some interest and I'm always looking for more. The entire list of guest posts can be found here.

~

Since I got a link from Wicked Chops Poker today with the 5 Questions interview with Dr. Pauly, I suppose it's only right that I should put up a very NSFW picture.

Below is my favorite Pantera logo. Click on the picture for the NSFW version.



~

I'll be playing in the new weekday Brit Blogger game today which should be fun. The start time is great for them and any degenerates from the Colonies who spend their day gambling and wasting time. Stop on by if you are one or the other.

Tournament: Brit Blogger Weekday
When: Tuesdays at 15:30ET (20:30BST)
Game: NLHE
Buyin: $5+.50
Password: donkament

That was fun

Date: Sun, Aug 17, 2008

JackAce is the nutz. This was the third time getting AA in 30 minutes of FTOPS #24. No action on the first two and the action I got on the third was unfortunate.

Dead Money = Sir AlCantHang - 2008-08-17

Date: Sun, Aug 17, 2008



Is it bad form to win the tournament you set up? I'll be playing in FTOPS #24 at 14:00ET with a not-really-that-small hangover.

The Brit Blogger game will be on FTP today, hope to see you there.

Tournament: Brit Blogger Game
When: Sunday at 16:00ET
Game: NLHE
Buyin: $5+.50
Password: donkament

Brit Blogger Challenge

Date: Sat, Aug 16, 2008

Busy busy over the last few days. Plenty to write about but no time to run out the details. Work first, play later.

I've been working with Acornman and The Cloud trying to put together a little something for the Brit bloggers and readers. What we've come up with is a little mini blogger challenge over the next couple weeks. Sort of a little BBT but with fewer games, smaller buyins, less stress and the weekday game will be running while all us Yanks are still at their real job. Except for us morons who quit their real job. Ah yeah, and only the Brits (bloggers, readers, etc) are eligible to win the big leaderboard prizes at the end.

We'll be shipping the top two players on the leaderboard off to London on September 18th and 19th for the taping of the Million Dollar Cash Game plus a meet/greet with some of the pros. I actually considered taking a jump across once I found out world famous blogger HDub would be there, unfortunately I have a little shindig going on the week after.

As I said, only the Brit bloggers and readers are eligible for the big prize but I'll have other incentives along the way to make it worth the time for players on this side to hop into the games, starting with the kickoff.

The first tournament will be on Saturday at 14:00ET, 19:00 on the other side of the Atlantic, and we've added two entries into FTOPS #24 on Sunday ($120+9 with Knockouts). The top two places on Saturday will pay out the seats with the rest of the prize pool going to the other spots. Not too shabby for a $5 tournament.

Tournament: Brit Blogger Challenge
When: Sunday at 14:00ET (19:00 BST)
Game: NLHE
Buyin: $5+.50
Password: donkament

~

Once you're done playing this game you can hop over to Saturdays with Dr. Pauly for his PLO fun time. Pauly has added extra juice to the game by awarding a buyin to the big Sunday Millions game.

A lot of free money floating around the games today.

Riverchaser game

Date: Thu, Aug 14, 2008

No real time to post today, interesting things in the works that I'll announce tomorrow. Wanted to remind everyone that the Riverchasers Tournament is on for this evening and I'll be playing from the pub surrounded by drunken karaoke singers (and hopefully that little number from Saturday).

While you're playing in the RC game, pop on over to Lou Krieger's radio show Keep Flopping Aces at 21:00ET with special guest Dr. Pauly.

Tournament: Riverchasers Online Tour
When: Thursday at 21:00ET
Game: Deepstack NLHE
Buyin: $10+1
Password: riverchasers

Evils of Drinking, continued

Date: Wed, Aug 13, 2008

Feel free to consider this another public service announcement on the dangers of over drinking. Today's example is short term memory loss.

It's well known that I avoid the bars on most normal Saturdays. Knuckledraggers and mouthbreathers consuming too much alcohol, doesn't appeal to me at all. This weekend I broke from the norm and made the walk down to the pub. I strapped on the new laptop and planned to sit in the corner to watch the parade of idiots while spending some time at the virtual tables. Every thing was going according to plan. I was around par in the second hour of the 28k and BSing with my friends. Then I found an outstanding young lady sitting alone on the other side of the bar and plans changed.

As BG would say, this girl was clearly out of my league. Nolan Ryan pitching to tee-ballers, out of my league. But she was drinking so there was a possibility the "beer goggle" effect would act in my favor. I've never been accused of being a decent looking humanoid but what I lack in looks I more than make up for in self-delusion. I decided to step up to the plate and see what I could do. She was looking over occasionally, I just prayed she wasn't looking at the dork sitting a bar playing online poker instead of chatting up the drunks.

Since she was sitting on her own I felt confident sending over a drink, pint of Guinness in this case. She smiled and waved thanks. I thought I handled my first pitch well until a meathead with a big faux-hawk took the seat next to her. They obviously knew each other an my first effort was a big whiff. I went back to playing the 28k and drinking with my friends. Not even The Rooster hits it out of the park on every swing. My friend sitting next to me didn't help very much when she turned to me and said "you know, he's really hot." Lemon.

But meathead left and she actually sent me a shot. I decided to take another swing, next up I had the bartender provide her with a Guinness AND a double Jameson. She smiled, knocked back the big shot without blinking and began walking over to my side of the bar. Images of Rudy, Rocky and Tanner dancing through my head. Just maybe she was drunk enough to overlook my glaring weakness(es).

We chatted for awhile and I decided to myself that I was going to fold my way out of the 28k and take my shot. Being the polite young gentlemen (I'm neither polite nor young), I shook her hand and introduced myself.

"Al, we closed the bar together Thursday night! You don't remember me?

And I foul out to the catcher.

God damn booze. I knew Thursday night ended in a big blur, someone had to remind me that I actually sang karaoke that night but how the hell did I miss closing the bar with one of the best looking women to walk into the pub? Rhetorical question. There was nothing average about this girl other than her complete faith in holistic healing yet I had no memory of her. Luckily for me that wasn't my last at bat of the evening, and the end of my inane baseball metaphors, because the girl certainly loves her Guinness and Jameson. We'll see how things go this coming weekend.

~

The final push to the Bash is moving along. The confirmations are starting to come in and the golf outing is starting to fill up. Since my last list of 5 convinced BadBlood to finalize his plans I decided to do another list. Five more that I'd like to see poneyed up to my bar at the end of September.

The Garthmeister - he says he can't make it because of a puny competition called the Australian Rules Football Grand Final. Not sure if it's more important than the Little League World Series or the Westminster Kennel Club competition but I'm pretty sure I'll have a way to get it shown in the pub. Besides, the last time Garth was in my house he redecorated my guest bathroom in Technicolor-yawn colors. What kind of art goes with modern Jager spew? He missed the last bash with some lame excuse about being in Australia at the time and it wasn't justifiable to fly halfway around the world for one party.

Waffles - zero chance he will make the short trip south for The Bash. The party requires a certain amount of social interaction that might be a little out of his league. Uncontrollable drooling is definitely frowned upon and there will be a bus full of randy available women. Of course he could always be the "Player" yin to The Rooster's yang. The bar is also a little more comfortable than the sportsbook at the Venetian, so when he passes out this time he won't have a dent in his forehead.

Tripjax - during the last Bash he received the dreaded Drunk Lewey award. He took the standard Saturday night drunk one step further by getting wasted on Friday well before the sun went down. I have no idea if Trip is coming but if he brings his wife that doubles the chance that "Stalker Waffles" will show up.

CJ and G-Rob - Otis and BadBlood are making an appearance for the G-Vegas crew so why not the rest of them. As the sober luckbox, CJ would be the odds on favorite to win the Friday night poker tournament. He'd also be a great person to document the craziness while trying to explain to his new wife why he knows this bunch of chuckleheads. I'd almost pay for G-Rob to show up just for the different stories about what he does for a living. Caribbean club owner, firefighter, SWAT team member, professional blackjack player, news anchor. None of which are believable but he sells it well.

MiamiDon - poker, golf and booze. I'm having a heard time figuring out why he wouldn't be here. That gives so many opportunities for ridiculous prop bets that he could make his nut for the year in one weekend. He could even spend the weekend watching football at a reasonable time thanks to the timezone switch. Thank you very much "east coast bias". If Don shows up I'll be sure to find time to watch every game available.

Saturday's with Dr Pauly and Brit Blogger Game

Date: Sat, Aug 9, 2008

It's been awhile since I've had a chance to play in Pauly's Saturday game or the Sunday Brit game. I look to remedy that situation this weekend.

Hope to see you there.




"If he pukes, you die" - Chet

Date: Thu, Aug 7, 2008

I wasn't even drinking last night and I'm pretty sure I made a kid puke.

Minding our own business at the pub last night, there were a few people milling around at midnight. The Phillies game was over and mad rush for six packs had yet to start. A handful of kids walked into the bar, looked around and walked back out to join their dozen friends standing on the sidewalk. Odd but not uncommon. I walked outside for a quick smoke (thank you very much all you lung-hugging nazis) and found the group counting down til midnight exactly. Two of the young snappers were turning 21 at the crack of twelve then they rushed the bar.

Being the socially responsible Ambassador of the Drunken State I decided I should buy them a round of shots. Everyone in the group decided the same thing and jumped the line to get them on their looped up way. My shot was fourth in line and they gave me the option of choosing their poison. They started with Irish Carbombs, onto Three Wisemen, this one containing Jack, Jim and Johnny, and washed that down with a girly Slippery Nipple. I wanted something to keep the crazy mix going but want to completely crush them. I wasn't going to pick a Cement Mixer or Prairie Fire or Back Draft (saving that shot for the guys at the Bash). I went simple but was fairly confident in the outcome. Double shot of Cuervo.

They sniffed it and wrinkled their nose. Their friends took a whiff and shook their heads. The young'uns held their breath and knocked it back. Guy number one, who looked 12, made a face like someone punched him in his vagina. Guy number two waiting for about five seconds than ran for the shitter. All evidence suggests that he chewed it back and saved face. But 45 minutes later we saw the guys running for the dump bucket behind the bar, Mr Douche "What's your cheapest beer" was passed out on the Sopranos pinball machine and the manager finished their evening by explaining the bar spew rule. You puke, you clean it. No matter your condition.

That's how a quiet Wednesday night got very interesting. Never a dull moment. Up until that point the only interesting thing of note were the two large breasticled women barely dressed chugging PBR Pounders until they went broke.

~

My Bash wishlist posted yesterday so far is making headway already. The one and only BadBlood emailed me this morning with his flight confirmation. That worries me a bit because now I'm forced to live up to my words about an arm wrestling rematch. They never end well and my left side is usually numb for a week. One anonymous person on the list is getting closer to booking his flight.

That means I post another list tomorrow and see who else I can drag out.

~

Congrats to Waffles on choking up in the Mookie last night. Second place is first loser, a title which fits him just fine.

Tonight is the Riverchasers game. Since I have no creative energy this week I went with the easy twist to the tournament. I added $100 to the prizepool for shits and giggles. Nothing life changing but a little added juice to the event.

See you there.

Tournament: Riverchasers Online Tour
When: Thursdays at 21:00ET
Game: Deepstack NLHE
Buyin: $10+1
Password: riverchasers

Tao 5 and The Bash 5

Date: Wed, Aug 6, 2008



519 is an outrageous number. Sick. As the unofficial archive of various blogger tournaments I feel confident in stating that is the biggest field of any blogger-hosted tournament. And by huge margin. Unless Wheaton threw something together that I missed Pauly has outdrawn the world. It's a true testimony to the width of his reach and the quality he has brought to us for the last 5 years.

Before the tournament started I figured it was a long shot that I would even know anyone at my table. That thought was wrong when I found myself seated with Lucko21, BamBam, THE Spaceman and Surf. Hell, even if I managed to dodge the top players I still needed to duck a canuck (which I didn't do very well).

It was a great event with plenty of friendly banter and it was great to see a lot of old school bloggers come out of the woodwork for the special occasion. I saw Decker briefly but couldn't get a word in before he was knocked out but I did get to see Professional Poker Player Chris Halverson. Does anyone remember the connection between Decker and Dr. Pauly? If you do, consider yourself an old timer blogger/reader.

I putzed around to finish 147 which is rather pathetic but I was having more fun slinging chips than really concentrating on building a proper stack. Once I was knocked out and set my curse upon several other players. Started pulling for Halverson, he gets knocked out. Chat "Go VinNay" and off to the rail he goes. KidDynamite, yep. It was really bad when they were down to the final table and I gave my encouragement to WillytheWise. No doubt he was the first person eliminated from the final nine. If you wish me to ever put a cooler on one of your opponents, you know how to get ahold of me.

Congrats the GarryGates for the win. Nice job Pauly on surviving the first 5 years and thanks for throwing a great tournament.

~

I decided the throw together a list of people who might or might not make it to The Bash this year. Some are on the fence and others are keeping quiet. Here is a short list and why I think they should make the trek to enjoy golf, poker and too too many adult beverages.

MilwaukeeSteve - after the last Bash he took exception to the quality of the Buffalo wings at the Boathouse. Apparently his savage inferior palate is not quite as fine tuned as we'd been led to believe but we'll forgive him this one transgression. He is a friggin' Cowboy fan for chrissake. I imagine I should take a picture of the specialty beer cooler at the pub to give him a little nudge. Even better, the manager at the pub told me to just let him know what special beer requests were needed and he would order it. No excuse for drinking swill that weekend.

BadBlood - one main reason I want the man here. Well, one besides the arm wrestling rematch he owes me. As the resident headbanger guitar-crunching blogger I looked forward to sending him the AlCantHang song from the Bash band and having him perform his unique interpretation of the song. If he doesn't commit soon we'll have to resort to our tricks from the last bash, call his wife and get permission.

TheFatGuy - one of my favorite bloggers I've ever met. The man has yet to make a journey to my neck of the woods. Surely his head would explode when the band kicks in their 1am hardcore hijinx but that's why the VIP area will be set up and the jukebox downstairs has plenty of The Gourds loaded up. If Scott decides to make the trip you can expect to find Shiner Bock sitting in the beer cooler just for him. Will 3 cases be enough for him?

BobbyBracelet, JoeSpeaker, Donkeypuncher - all three of those "good lookin" bloggers are included as one person. They will be needed as a single entity because The Rooster has already signed up to make the Bash. Please for the love of god, we need the three of them just to offset one Rooster. I already mentioned there was going to be a big bachelorette party showing up that night, do we really want to the rooster a free run at a bunch of boozed-up girls looking for a piece of strange that evening?

Mookie - this is a cruel one to post because I know he can't make it because of work obligations. I've never actually met the man who sets the standard for regular blogger tournaments and the guy who deals my shit banner requirements on a near daily basis. Besides, the man has 70 kids in his house. I think he deserves and weekend full of debauchery as long as he keeps it in his pants. I don't need a new flock of little Mookies running around my town.

I'll throw another 5 up later but there's my wish list for now.

The Rooster Golf Tournament is completely set up for a noon tee off at Centre Square Golf Club on Friday, September 26th. The big poker tournament is good to go for that evening and you'll need to get in touch with me if you are interested in playing. You can drop me an email if you have any questions about The Bash.

Dr Pauly > Random Tail

Date: Tue, Aug 5, 2008

Sunday is fun day. At least that's what they call it sitting around the pub at 1am with the rest of the degens who don't have to get up early on Monday to head off to a proper job. Just about anything can happen Sunday night, the whackoos come out of the woodwork and wander the streets like zombies. And those are the good nights.

This Sunday's festivities were interrupted midstream when a group of took off for dinner. Japanese/Thai cuisine. There were six people and we ordered enough for a full dozen, the waitress needed to bring the plates in multiple shifts due to table size constraints. During the appetizer portion of the feast, BigMike grabbed something from a plate on the other side of the room and dropped it on my plate. This little tempura covered unknown package.

Scallop. Wrapped in bacon. Stuffed with cheese. Then deep fried.

Sweet mother of god.

That one bite overshadowed the 50 pounds of raw fish flesh we ingested the rest of the night. Fried with bacon makes everything just that much better.

~

Sunday evening I also ran into Hot-Young-Chippy poker playing girl who was already well into her booze. There were shots and bullshitting and maybe some karaoke. After all the talk and the booze she convinced me to go out Tuesday evening to a local game at a member-only establishment. The club, not the jacket. This place is the very definition of sketchy. A rebuy tournament with a bad structure and angry young players. They once ran a darts tournament where the losing player walked out to his car, returned a few minutes later with a gun and blew a hole straight the dart board (and the walls, plural). But if a young, good looking girl is throwing down shots of Jameson and asking me to go play poker with a bat of her eyes, everyone on the planet knows that I'll armor up with kevlar and hit the game.

Luckily I sobered up and remembered there is this little Dr. Pauly tournament going on tonight. There is no way I'm missing this event. Over 200 signed up already. So tonight I'll bypass the small chance of tail and poker to play with a crapload of my favorite bloggers and readers.

I noticed that Poker Champ is signed up which makes me happy. As always, I AM POKER CHAMP! Now if we can get Wesley to show up.

See you this evening.

Random crap I came up with while waiting to be freed from Blogger exhile (or my longest title ever)

Date: Mon, Aug 4, 2008

This blog has been locked due to possible Blogger Terms of Service violations. You may not publish new posts until your blog is reviewed and unlocked.

This blog will be deleted within 20 days unless you request a review.
A never ending stream of curses came pouring out of me when I saw this notice in blogger over the weekend. And be damned sure that I know how to curse. It's taken me a few weeks to get a stable access to the internet and now I wasn't able to do anything with it. Not that I need to be wasting any one's time with my ramblings, it was just the extra nut punch I needed.

I'm just a lowly old lonely blogger and wouldn't have been missed if this blogger outage lasted for any real amount of time. But I soon discovered they also put the kibosh on the Good Doctor and many of his sites. We chatted for awhile that afternoon and I began to feel confident it wouldn't take long to get the sites back up. The lockout didn't seem to have anything to do with gambling. Or my penchant for scantily clad womens. Or my whiny ass hangover taunts.

When I checked later in the weekend I was glad to see my access was restored. I don't have anything terribly important or earth shattering to share. Pauly on other hand has this tiny little mega-smashing tournament going on tomorrow for his 5 year blog anniversary. It will be a large field, cheap buyin game with a the big Borgata Poker Open Main Event seat waiting for the winner. I'll be there trying my best to make sure I don't have to work that Borgata event, I'd rather play in it.



~

Can we just put this Favre nonsense to rest and not spend half of SportsCenter talking about it? I don't even like SportsCenter in general but now it's unwatchable. I lost a bunch of respect for the guy when he did his pussy laydown for Strahan to get the sack record and I was happy the last throw of his career was going to be a horrible pass to eliminate the Packers from the playoffs. Now all this crap is just too much. Let's play some football.

And my feelings have absolutely nothing to do with his 2003 "Oh hey my dad just died so I'm going to leave my family and play one of the best games of my life just to knock some random hippy out of his fantasy football playoffs".

That would just be insensitive of me.

~

Hoyazo has decided to stop hosting Mondays at the Hoy and Sean has decided to pick up the Monday slack by throwing a LivePokerRadio game. I plan to be there to get myself back into a regular pace of playing again. Hopefully once the summer finishes up we'll start to see a return to the bigger numbers each game was used to. Until then I'll be trying to take advantage of the smaller fields to pick up a nickle or two.

Tournament: Live Poker Radio
When: Monday at 22:00ET
Game: Deepstack NLHE
Buyin: $10+1
Password: boom

~

It's not anywhere near the excitement expecting parents go through but I'm a non-breeder and have nothing else to compare it to. I just got a notice that my new fusion-powered-terminator-like laptop is due to hit my doorstep Wednesday morning. At that point all my problems will be solved just short of finding a healthy liver donor to keep locked away for the next 2 years.

~

I wish Shumpy allowed comments on his site so I could thank him. The man just knows how much I love Not-Even-Close-To-Safe-For-Work Redheads.

Not. Safe. For. Work.

A redhead with beer is just a bonus.

~

That's just about enough useless random crap I can think to come up with and I need to turn off Arena Rock. They are tilting me by playing a regular roation of Trixter and Enuff z'Nuff

Til tomorrow, please go hit up Pauly's latest Truckin' issue. Arrived on the internets just as he was able to get his access back.


1. Even More Existentialist Conversations with Strippers by Paul McGuire
On the third day of Prozac? That pretty much summed up my visit to the afternoon shift. The stripper was drunk, sedated on happy pills, sloppy, and slurring her speech like Albert Finney at happy hour... More

2. Explaining Amphetamines With Words by Sean A. Lovelace
See the thing is an injection is a lot like a bullet from a gun, or words of anger, or like kisses—you can't get it back. And that Valium was working, working its way through his body, his veins, slowing things down, slowing, his pulse, his already pretty-fucking-slow pulse, and then he was, he was, well, he was dead... More

3. Black Hole Sun By Betty Underground
I couldn't get her face out of my head. Blank and full of jealousy. Not directed at me, but me as part of the female species. As a representative of the sex that threatened her the most... More

4. Separate From Things We Didn't Want A Part Of by Philip D. Brown
My friend fell asleep but the girl didn't and though it was dark I could see her watching me. She didn't look capable of sleep or even rest so I told her that I could help. She told me that needles were out of the question because they were an invasion she wasn't willing to accept... More

5. Capistrano By Brad Willis
If the doctor says I'm living, he obviously is lying or seriously misguided. If he tells me I'm living, I'm going to laugh and tell him he better get busy dying for me, because somebody fucking has to... More