Getting Distracted

Date: Mon, Jul 28, 2008 Professional

Using my basic knowledge of military history, together with the historical documentaries that were the Indiana Jones films, it seems that key Nazi goals during the war were: (in no particular order)

Invasion of Poland
Genocide
Opening Ark of the Covenant
Occupation of France
Blitzkreig of the Netherlands
Recovery of Holy Grail

Now call me a conservative war stategist, but I imagine Hitler's WWII plans would have stood a greater chance of succeeding if he was not continually redeploying troops from outside Paris to a distant arabic desert to search for the cup of life. I also note from the films that these were not rank and file soldiers either, but in fact some of the top SS brass. No wonder the German war effort fell short.

Distraction can undermine everyone's best efforts, and so it proved on Saturday night, while I was playing a raft of online tournaments for the first time in several months.

At about 11pm I was playing the pokerstars $50 event, alongside two Full Tilt tournaments. Things had not been going well throughout the evening. I had not flopped a single set, which ruined my standard strategy of "flop set/bust overpair". I had got the money all in twice in previous tournaments with flopped open-ended straight flush draws, but missed all the outs when called by the top pair. My mid tournament resteals had been called in numerous spots by people raising with AT and AJ, and my 40% chances were not saving me.

It was fair to say I was in a pretty dark mood, so it was the perfect time to run into my favourite opponent - the young, niggly, online US/Canadian player.

I am playing 8k from a 3k starting stack in the Stars tournament, and am above average. I re-raise a raiser with AdKd on the button and get called by the big blind as well as the original raiser (standard).

Flop comes King high but all clubs.

I check, to avoid being flush bluffed. Turn is a blank

Checked to me so I lead for 2/3 of the pot. The big blind sticks around.

River is a blank so I call down his 1/2 pot bet on the river and am shown the flopped 8 high flush.

"Good call - thank you" he types in the chatbox.

Clearly, this lights the blue touchpaper and I waste about 5 minutes lauching a tirade against the perpetrator, and am playing scant attention to the other two games.

He is giving it the big one, about his tournament wins/cash prowess when the next hand occurs.

I value bet TPTK on the river against someone else, and get called by top two pair to move down to average stack.

"Lol - you should come and watch me play live and take notes donk" types the villain from the flush hand.

I am now INCANDESCENT with rage. I decide enough is enough.

I put myself in "Sit out" mode from all tournaments, and actually go to the effort of subsribing to two online rankings websites and pull up the stats on this player. It turns out this guy has a return on investment of negative 49% and has a list of tournament non-cashes as long as the River Nile.

I am just about to use my new found knowledge to give him a keyboard beating, when I get moved to a new table. INFURIATING. At this point I decide, I better re-focus on the tournaments in hand, only to discover I only have 4 big blinds on one of the FT tournaments while this virtual warfare has been going on. In the pokerstars tournament, I hover over my avatar to see that I have just auto-folded pocket Queens. Marvellous.

I didn't cash in a single tournament this Saturday - my worst online performance for a long time. A $700 loss registered for the night, and perhaps a lesson learned to switch off the chat box in future.

So, distraction was fatal for me in these tournaments as it was for the Nazis in the 1940s. Imagine if, back in WWII, the Allies had combined their war efforts with searching for the Lost City of Atlantis. Perhaps all of us European players would be listening to oom-pah bands on our iPods........... ;)

PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 4,125
Live Holdem Cash (965)
Live Omaha (290)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games (460)
Online Holdem Tournaments 55,678
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 930
Sundry 934
Rake (4,317)

65,080

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The Cost of Being too Active

Date: Fri, Jul 25, 2008 Professional

The £50 league game at Loose Cannon took place last night, and unfortunately my run of 5 straight cashes came to and end. After the break, I had made some minor progress, up to 5k in chips. With the increasing blinds, I became more and more active, and that ultimately led to my downfall.

Prior to the 3 hands below, I had knocked out Sonny's cousin (Osman 4) before immediately donking off 2k to Professor Jalfont in a blind on blind battle with Jack high. In the Jack hand, Jalfont had raised me with the Queen flush draw on the turn - correctly countering my agression and in fact "bluffing" with the best hand.

Hand1
I raise on the button to 800 with QQ (Blinds 150-300) - all pass.

Hand2
I raise to 800 from mid position with 4c5d. All pass.

Hand3
I raise UTG with AhJh to 800. folded round to Fluke, who has had enough of my constant raising and he shoves. Hmmm - after the Jalfont chip leakage I have about 25% of my stack in the middle already. We are only 5 handed, so easy to see Luke doing this with AT or Arag with my persistent raising. I call and he in fact holds 25 offsuit! The dealer deals down a straight for Fluke by the river and I am gone.

Nice to see tournament regulars Sir Mike and Shazbo take down 1st and 2nd respectively.

I also made an ahead of shedule return to the cash game last night. I was very pleased with my play and booked a £320 profit for the night. I was very solid, and only bluffed when it was appropriate, when it looked like people had missed draws, or scare cards arrived on the board.

On Saturday night I am making a long overdue return to the online arena. I am going to play a long tournament session, and we will see if I can emulate my sparkling form from earlier in the year.

PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 4,125
Live Holdem Cash (965)
Live Omaha (290)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games (460)
Online Holdem Tournaments 56,328
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 930
Sundry 884
Rake (4,267)

65,780

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8, 21, 31, 32, 46, 47 - Gutshot Omaha

Date: Wed, Jul 23, 2008 Professional

El Lotto. I've been playing it since 1994 now - one line a week. £1028 spent to date, and I think I have won £10 three times. It also seems that the lottery machine "Arthur" has it in for me. Twice he has spat out my numbers as the first three on the board before delivering three blanks to crush my money for nothing dream. Unfortunately, my numbers are now so burned into my memory banks that I can't possibly stop playing now, as it's inevitable what would happen. I believe it's known a tax on the stupid :(

Anyhow - the £50 Gutshot Omaha tournament was my port of call last night. As you know, I am a great fan of deep stacked cash omaha - a game of careful thought and maths. However, I've only ever played one live Omaha tournament, and a few online, so to say I am an Omaha tournament rookie is an understatement. However, it seemed to me that there is far less art to Omaha tournaments than there is in cash. All pots are multi way, and all you can do is pick a spot and hope the lottery machine pops out cards in your favour.

I only really played 3 hands before my early bust out - it was a 6k double chance.

Hand1
UTG raises to 150 and I call with 5c7c8d9d. 2 other callers and then the SB pots it. The BB then goes all in BLIND (he had lost half his stack in the previous hand and wanted to get back to holdem I think). UTG passes and I decide to gamble and call. The reason for this, is my hand plays well against the likely big cards the SB is holding, even if he does have Aces, and with the blind all in this is a good chance to triple up early on.

Every one else passes except the SB, and although I hit my straight and diamond flush by the river, the SB had AdQd so won the huge pot with a bigger flush. I still feel this was the right play, although more cautious players will disagree.

Hand2
I am down to 2700 after missing a few flops. I limp UTG with KsKc8s7c and there are a few other limpers. The BB makes it 400 to go which is what I was after so I pot it for 1600. I get 2 callers :(
Flop is a disasterous AhJh2d
The BB leads out for my last 1k in chips and I pass. I don't see the sense in putting in my last 1k, when I almost certainly drawing to a King and maybe even be up against a heart draw so will have one out! The other guy called and it was AKxx verses some other one pair hand.

Hand3
2 limpers and I shove my last 800 chips in with AhAdQh8H. I am repotted and then someone reshoves again and the first guy calls. They both have relatively poor hands:

AAQ8 v KJ84 v 9,6,5,3 (I think although only saw it quickly)

Good old lottery machine "Arthur" pops out a King and a 4 and I am done for the night.

Not sure I'll play this again - I really enjoy Omaha cash but this tournament felt too random for me with the limited stacks. I think I played all 3 hands correctly, and twice had the best of it going in. The first hand is open to debate, but I did think it was a good spot to get an undominated hand in for a big stack, and I'd do it again (I concede my play was more suitable to a rebuy tournament though).

Fluke battled away and took 7th so myself and the Baron get a £15 rebate for our percentages in each other.

The rest of the week sees me at Loose Cannon, for the League on Thursday, and I'm going to spend an evening online on Saturday night, as I've neglected that for far too long. I'm also going to play the Gutshot Open on 23th August - £500 gets you a 20k starting stack with a 90 minute clock - almost as good as WSOP Main Event.

Right - off to fill out tonight's lottery numbers.

PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 4,225
Live Holdem Cash (1605)
Live Omaha (290)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games (460)
Online Holdem Tournaments 56,328
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 930
Sundry 884
Rake (4,257)

65,260

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10,000th Visitor Promotion

Date: Mon, Jul 21, 2008 Professional

Looks like we are fast approaching 10,000 hits for the Magical Mystery Tour. At the moment I get about 350 visitors a week, so I imagine we'll cross the threshold in about 2/3 weeks.

As a promotion to Loose Cannon players, if we hit 10k visitors when the date is an odd number I'll put a £50 bounty on my head for the £50 UKPT League match on 7th August. If the 10k is hit when the date is an even number I'll put £20 bounty on my head for the Loose Cannon £10 rebuy on 6th August.

On top of that, if you knock me out and can show a printout showing that you were exactly the 10,000th visitor, I will pay DOUBLE bounty.

Disclaimer: For overseas readers, this promotion does NOT include flight and accommodation expenses ;)

PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 4,225
Live Holdem Cash (1605)
Live Omaha (190)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games (440)
Online Holdem Tournaments 56,328
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 930
Sundry 854
Rake (4,247)

65,330

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A Sunday Omaha Stroll

Date: Sun, Jul 20, 2008 Professional

I haven't been playing much online recently, as I've started to find it a little boring without the social aspect of the live games. However, I was at a loose end for a couple of hours this Sunday morning, so fired up the online sites for a little 2/4 Omaha.

With an allocated budget of USD 1,200, it all started rather badly when my huge wrap on the flop, ended up against top set and the nut flush draw:

Flop Jh, 6h, 9d

Me: Qs, 10s, 7h, 8h (31%)
Player2: Set of Jacks (47%)
Player3: Nut flush draw (22%)

Obviously all the money went in, and the $1,200 pot shot over to the 22% guy by the river.

However, I then played pretty well, getting all my money back and an extra $300. I didn't do anything fancy, just bet hard when I had it, and called down a few suspicious looking river bets with marginal hands.

Then I experienced the joys of someone else tilting. Now, normally, if there is flashing red tilt sign it is above my seat - it's one of the biggest weaknesses in my cash game. This time I saw the flip side of it.

I didn't see his hole cards, but I presume I sucked out on the guy sitting in the small blind next to me, when I put him all in for $100 on the flop with my overpair of Kings, and he snap called and I hit the set on the river.

At this point, he reloaded 3 times for $120 each time, and insisted on getting it all in against me on any flop, when we were down to a blind on blind battle. Amusingly, every time he chose to do this my starting hands were Aces double suited (twice) and Kings double suited, so I stacked him 3 times before he called it a night.

The rest of the session was pretty uneventful, and most of the players left our table. It ended up being 3 handed, and one of my opponents was Mike "Timex" McDonald (EPT Dortmond winner and 19 year old online guru). I didn't really fancy the value in this line up, so I called it a day $600 up.

Clearly, my self imposed 3 week cash table ban only applies to live games ;)

PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 4,225
Live Holdem Cash (1605)
Live Omaha (190)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games (440)
Online Holdem Tournaments 56,328
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 930
Sundry 854
Rake (4,247)

65,330

Read Full Poker Blog Post

The Rise and Fall of Julius' Chipstack

Date: Fri, Jul 18, 2008 Professional

If my cash game is currently shambolic, I appear to be on a bit of a heater in tournaments at the moment. My last 5 entries in £50+ tournies have now brought 5 consecutive cashes for a finishing position run of 3rd, 3rd, 1st, 4th, 3rd, all in fields of 20+.

Last night involved scrapping for dear life in the first 4 levels, before having the quickest chip accumulation I've ever experienced, before blowing my huge chip lead on the final table with a mixture of bad luck and over-agressiveness. Pretty much the story of the Roman Empire then.

EARLY STRUGGLES
I call a re-raise with AQ and miss, and then re-raise a raiser with AK and miss. Before I know it I am down to 1.5k from my 4k starting stack, and seemingly following Sir Mike out of the early exit door. I scrap away, and find good spots to stick my stack in and steal some blinds.

At one point it's folded round to me and I shove with 2s3d. I decide to add some speechplay, so say "well I guess at this stage my range in an unopened pot is any two cards in the deck". Sonny immediately says "Yeah, right", which helps massively, because not only does it mean I know he will probably fold, but I think that convinced Professor Jalfont to chuck AT in the big blind. Phew!

THE RISE
I've never won so many chips in such a short period of time. I'm still fighting away with my 2k when the following sequence occurs, almost in back to back hands:

Hand1
Sonny raises a limper to put me all in, and I see the best hand for several orbits KQ off. I decide to call all in with it as I only have 5 big blinds. It luckily holds against Sonny's AJ. Chip count = 4k

Hand2
I call a raise from Uncles Paulie when I am in the BB with Kd10d.
Flop comes a pretty tasty QdJd10s so I check raise all in and Paulie calls with the nut diamond draw. I fade another diamond. Chip count = 8k

Hand3
2 limpers and I make up the SB with Ks10d.
Flop comes Kc 2d 6h
Uncle Paulie shoves and I make the call with top pair. He has gutshot straight draw and doesn't get there. Chip count = 16k

I make some steals and continuation bets and get up to 25k when the following hand occurs.

Hand4
New guy to the table with big stack makes it 1k from the SB. I find JJ in the BB and make it 4k to go. He calls.
Flop is all rags
He shoves for 11k and I instacall and beat his KQ. I think showing down the terrible hands earlier on earned me the chips there, as the other players had mentioned it to him. Chip stack = 40k

Final table time

THE FALL
I go into the final table with about 60% of the chips in play, so I decide to dominate the table, and put people to decisions while they are out of the money. This works fine for a while and then the wheels begin to come off.

Hand5
I make is 2.2k in early position with A9 (blinds 400-800) and the BB goes all in for 2.4k. Obviously I have to call, knowing I am probably toast. He has AJ and I don't get there.

Hand6
Shazbo shoves for 2.5k from the button and I call her blind in the BB because her range should be huge. It is - she has QT, but unforunately I find T7 which is pretty much the worst holding I could pick up, as i am dominated. She wins the pot.

Hand7
Sonny shoves UTG for about 3k. I raise it to 8k to isolate with AJ on the button. He has KQ and I bust him.

Hand8
UTG limps for 1.2k and I raise to 5k to put him all in with 77. He makes the loose call with A9. This soon morphes into a house and I have lost some more of my empire.

5 left - we are on the bubble - I am still chip leader (just).

Hand9
Blinds are now 800-1600. Folded round to Professor Jalfont who shoves for about 12k in the SB. I squeeze out KK and snap call his AQ, but to my horror an Ace falls on the flop and I lose the 24k pot. Starting to feel it's not my night.

We are now in the money - 4 left and I am now in 3rd place.

I make a few moves to maintain my stack. 4th place chip stack gets eliminated, so I am now short stack myself.

Hand10
Jalfont limps for 1.6k and I decide to make a move, and shove in the remenants of my Empire(now only 10k) with 5h9h. The big blind looks me up with AT and I don't draw out.

Final prize is £160 for 3rd and some useful points. I am almost certainly top of the league in the UKPT race when it is published next week.

Tough to evaluate that final table performance. I don't think I really made many mistakes, although perhaps I over-cooked it on the agression front.

Of course the killer hand was the AQ v KK hand, which would have restored my chip empire to its former glory

"Et tu Professor Jalfont?"


PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 4,225
Live Holdem Cash (1605)
Live Omaha (190)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games (440)
Online Holdem Tournaments 56,328
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 330
Sundry 854
Rake (4,247)

64,730

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Rikki B @ City100

Date: Thu, Jul 17, 2008 Professional

I read a lot of poker blogs when I have the time, mostly to see how different styles of player approach different situations. The aspect I find most amusing, is the style of writing employed by young internet guys, and their total disregard for other players. For a change I am going to write up last night's 4th place finish at Loose Cannon's City100 tournament in the style of a young internet geek. The internet geeks aren't so familiar with the concept of paragraphs, so any old timers in the readership will have to concentrate ;)

Firstly some background on my alter ego:

Name: "Rikki B"
Nationality: Canadian
Age: 22
Online winnings: 320k
USD Interests: Online poker, talking to the crew about online poker, posting on online forums about online poker.
Sexual orientation: Asexual

Let's find out what Rikki was up to last night.............

"So I shipped out to Loose Cannon for the £100 donkament. I'm feeling pretty good after two decent scorz on Party last week, although it's the first live game for a while. 4.5k starting stack with 25 minute levels. So I chip to 6k after one round betting out QQ on a K high flop when tight passive guys back off. I then spew, like, 3k double barrelling AK on a dry board and some clownfish shoves on me on the turn and I have to pass. The same clownfish shoves over my mp raise with AJ and I wanna find a better spot so I muck and am down to 2k. Old cypriot guy to my left who seems to know what he is doing is away from his BB so when old american guy raises on the button I ship it in with A8 as should be > most people's range here. I should have known that old guys playing live = rocks and he snaps me with TT. Fortunately I dink an Ace on the turn and double up"

Rikki is now on a break.......

"We are soon at FT from our 18 starting field and I get a few raises through to get my stack up to 6k. On my next BB loose spewtard with big stack makes it 4k on the button. I find TT and I'm, like, SEENNNND I ship it in and hold against spewtard's K5. Next I shove over the top of old cypriot guy's raise with AK but lose when AK is no good against AJ. Sick. Live players suck. Life tilt. I am down to 4k, but get a virtual double up when I limp with 22 and hit a set. I check and spewtard re-raises the other limper's flop bet to 2k and I ship it in and he mucks. Sweet."

Rikki on another break, making new friends with his polished social skills

"So I, like, get to 12k by shoving over spewtard again with TT and holding, athough I have to sweat the river when he gets the straight draw. We are ITM now. Next I limp UTG with A10 and spewtard calls. Clownfish in the BB shoves for 15k and I'm, like, WTF? and pass. I get a few raises through before raising UTG with 77 to 4k. Young guy shoves on me for, like, 16k total. He'd been making a few moves so 77>his range in this spot so I make the call and I am up against TT. Sick. Give me the set one time! It doesn't come and I am busto in 4th, good for $340. 4 hours work for that - man, live poker sucks. I decide to ship it out to one of the london clubs with the crew - I hear they have a pretty sick drink called a cannon there which we'll ship in - laters"

Cast (in order of appearance)
"Rikki B" - Jimbo
"Clownfish" - Deven
"Old American guy" - Sir Mike
"Spewtard" - Tom
"Old cypriot guy who seems to know what he is doing" – Sonny


PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 4,005
Live Holdem Cash (1605)
Live Omaha (190)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games (440)
Online Holdem Tournaments 56,328
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 330
Sundry 854
Rake (4,237)
64,520

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Good Goran, Bad Goran

Date: Wed, Jul 16, 2008 Professional

1994 Wimbledon Final - Set 1
Goran Ivanisevic and Pete Sampras gingerly feel one another out. No one even comes close to breaking serve as both players are playing their "A" game, and it eventually goes to a tiebreak. Sampras prevails to take a one set lead.

2008 Loose Cannon cash game - Hour 1
I end up all in with an open ended straight and miss, having to reload for £100. No drama though, as I slowly build my stack back up with some well picked spots. I'm down, but only just.

1994 Wimbledon Final - Set 2
Ivanisevic is starting to come under pressure now, fighting off a number of break points before eventually holding his serves. No breaks again, but Sampras edges the tiebreak. Goran looking upset in the chair at the break - frustrated and talking to himself.

2008 Loose Cannon cash game - Hour 2
My hole cards are garbage - I am losing money raising with suited gappers and continuation betting. Out of frustration I get some back by shoving over the top of heavy action with pocket 10s (easily my best starting hand). Volcano gets upset by my overbet and leaves. Frustration is mounting for me - big time.

1994 Wimbledon Final - Set 3
Sampras breaks in the first game of the set, and Ivanisevic gives up after smashing a racket to smithereens. His almost unbreakable serve on grass is breached twice more and he loses the set 6-0. It is embarrassing for the Croat - he just doesn't care. Game, set, match Sampras 7-6 7-6 6-0.

2008 Loose Cannon cash game - Hour 3
My frustration boils over completely and I implode. I burn off £270 to the Baron running a bare ace bluff. Of course, this tactic only really works effectively in Omaha, and Tom pretty quickly calls my big river bet with the King flush. Instead of leaving, I petulantly fling my remaining £80 into the pot blind over the next 15 minutes, either pre-flop or post-flop and eventually get picked off by Shazbo, to cap a £350 loss for the night.

I am now on a 3 week cash game sabbatical. My head is simply not in the right place at the moment, and I go on uber-tilt for the smallest of reasons. I've dumped £850 in the last 4 days on the cash table, so I need to work out why I am lurching from proficient player to ultra loose donkey seemingly in the blink of an eye. This leak in my game is so devastating - if I stripped out these blow-ups, I'd actually be significantly up for the year in live cash. As it stands I am now 1,605 USD down.

Pre-cash tantrum, I played in the pub league £5 event at the Loose Cannon. My virtual exit hand was a thing of beauty.

I am playing 11k, chip leader on my table. Guy 3 to my right has 10k and is second in chips at the table. Blinds are 300-600.

I raise it up to 1600 in mid position with KdQd. I am flat called by the guy with 10k.

Flop Kc 4d 2d

I lead for 2500 with my top pair and 2nd nut draw.

I am re-raised to 5k and I shove before he can finish putting his chips in. He is pretty much committed now, and makes the crying call with Kh10c. He only has two outs because the 10d makes my flush.

River is ten of spades.

I'm off to smash some rackets.


PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 3,865
Live Holdem Cash (1605)
Live Omaha (190)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games (440)
Online Holdem Tournaments 56,328
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 330
Sundry 854
Rake (4,217)
64,400

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Limoncello

Date: Sun, Jul 13, 2008 Professional

Limoncello is a lemon liquor produced in Southern Italy, mainly in the region around the Gulf of Naples and the Sorretine Peninsula. It is made from lemon rinds, alcohol, water and sugar. It is bright yellow in colour, and sweet and lemony to the taste.

6 double shots of this liquor costs in the region of £500.

Honest Dave - please stop bringing this to my home games........... :(

PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 3,885
Live Holdem Cash (905)
Live Omaha (190)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games (460)
Online Holdem Tournaments 56,328
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 330
Sundry 854
Rake (4,217)
65,120

Read Full Poker Blog Post

Echoes of The 'Dam

Date: Fri, Jul 11, 2008 Professional

I was totally knackered ahead of the Loose Cannon £50 freezeout last night. After a 3am cash session there on Wednesday night (in the books as a £210 win), I'd only had 3 hours sleep before heading to work. At the grand old age of 32, this meant I was running on empty come kick off time at 7:30pm the next night. In years gone by I'd have been good for another late one, but I was starting to feel the same disconnected and spaced out feelings of my Amsterdam disaster a decade earlier...............

Back in 1997 I had been attending a thrilling course on structured corporate tax schemes in Eindhoven, while working for Arthur Andersen (pre Enron scandal of course). In my younger years, I'd always pushed the boundaries of human endurance when it came to enjoying myself, but even by my standards this was extreme. Over the course of the week I had led my hardy band of revellers on a 4 day stint of heavy drinking ahead of a weekend in Amsterdam. My "hours of sleep" over the 4 days had read like a space shuttle launch.......three, two, one, zero.

As a result, I arrived in Amsterdam for the end of course party having had 6 hours sleep in 4 days. Clearly I wasn't feeling on top form, but decided I could make it through one more party. What followed was slightly embarrassing, to say the least.

One minute I am drinking a pint in the bar, and the next I am travelling down a "tunnel of fire". Whilst I was going down this tunnel, back in the real world I had collapsed in the middle of the bar and was passed out for about 10 seconds, I am told, having some kind of seizure. I remember thinking the "tunnel of fire" was scary. When I came round, I could just see Sweaty Wally's face shouting in my face and slapping me. At this point, I had convinced myself the "tunnel of fire" was my descent into Hades, and Wally's face therefore must be Lucifer. I scambled away hyperventilating, but was grabbed by Wally and Greg from the Glasgow office and bundled in a taxi, en route to Amsterdam hospital.

During the journey, my hyperventilation became worse, and I started to lose all feeling in my arms and legs, as my body overflowed with oxygen. I informed Wally/Lucifer I was dying. Wally did what he thought was best at the time and held my hand and sang "twinkle twinkle little star" to me (!?) . The taxi driver was clearly delighted at the passengers he had selected.

We arrived at the hospital and a crack team flew out of the front doors with a bed, as the taxi driver had called ahead and informed them that I was indeed about to pass over. :(

However, the Dutch doctor immediately realised what was going on, and spoke in an accent just like the guy in that Grolsch advert.

"Schtop. Young man - you are hyperventilating".

He babbled in Flemish to the cleaner, who returned with a brown paper bag which was plonked over my mouth.

"Breath into thish - you will feel better".

Within about 5 minutes, all the feeling was back in my arms and legs as my oxygen levels returned to normal. I was diagnosed with "extreme fatigue" and my doctor friend left me with some worthy advice.

"Young man - I recommend that you get some schleep"

Another proud moment in my life ;) Wind forward ten years, and here I am sitting with the same dizzy feeling of a decade earlier, so I was pretty keen to bust out early and go home to bed. Of course, this would have to be the tournament to run good and I ended up winning the thing for £340 and some big league points.

The only big hand I recieved was KK, but that worked very well early on. I was in the big blind and my shove against a raiser and 2 callers looked just like a squeeze play, and I got looked up by pocket 9s. It held, and this got me up to 6k at the break (from a 4k start).

There were only 12 players left, so we are playing 6 handed and I was able to steal a fair few blinds after the break. I get up to about 8k when I get completely owned by Shazbo. She wins 4 hands against me in a row - the worst of which is a blind on blind battle where I have top pair, and she shoves over the top of me with middle pair and I pass. Outrageous.

I arrive at the final table with about 8k in chips. Tony Shep has a HUGE chip stack, but seems to be raising very light, almost every hand. At one point Jody makes a champagne move, shoving over the top of him and showing the mighty 72off when Tony folded.

We soon get down to the money as people bust left and right, Dan B particlarly unlucky in particular to lose AA v 96 suited of Tony all in pre-flop (due to stack sizes and initial raise size Tony had to call).

I build up most of chips by finding raggy aces and shoving over Tony's frequent opening bets. Eventually he snaps and calls with 67 suited when I have A8. It holds and I am now chip leader.

I also luckily bust Hugh with K8 v A8. I made the initial raise, and had the odds to call in most situations, but was very lucky here.

The final hand is interesting:

Tony raises to 4k (blinds 1k/2k). I call with 4d7d

Flop is 6d8c9d

What a flop for my hand - open ended straight, flush draw and gutshot straight flush draw.

Tony bets 4k, and I make is 12k hoping Tony either shoves or folds. However Tony flat calls which puts me in a bad spot if I miss.

The Turn is the 10d though, completing the straight and the flush, still with straight flush redraw. Tony has made 2 pair and all the money goes in and I hold up. I am exhausted, but happy with my win.

Honest Dave beckons me over to the cash table. I am about to go over when I suddenly see a little Dutch doctor in a thought bubble above my head:

"Young man - schtop! I recommend you get some schleep". And so I did........

PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 3,885
Live Holdem Cash (905)
Live Omaha (190)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
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Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 330
Sundry 854
Rake (4,217)
66,120

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The Grassroots of Poker

Date: Wed, Jul 9, 2008 Professional

Last night was a new poker experience for me. I hadn't seen the Volcano or the Doctor since Vegas, and since they are keen supporters of the London Pub Poker League, I decided to pop along to a pub in Clerkenwell for one of the games.

The event attracted 40 runners, and it's primarily a group of poker enthusiasts who don't have the inclination to spend significant sums in poker tournaments or cash games. Standard buy in for these events is a £5 rebuy I think, but on this occasion it was a freeroll, with a £100 total prize pool. So a bit different from the WSOP or Irish Open, but nonetheless I decided to give it my best shot, while drinking bottles of Mac's Gold at furious pace.

It was refreshing to see people playing just for the love of the game, rather than driven by significant financial goals. All of the players I met were great people, and the majority seemed to know what they were doing. I guess the only noticeable thing about the play was that there was less aggression, particulary post flop. A number of hands were checked down on multiple streets and check-raises were rare. Anyhow - 3k in chips, 20 minute blinds - here are some of my hands:

Hand1
I limp with Jd7d and the button raises it up to 200. Two other players call, as do I.
Flop 7s, 4s, 4h
Button bets 300
I call, others fold
Turn is a 2s
Check Check
River is Jc
I bet 400 and button calls tabling QQ for bigger 2 pair
A fine start - down to 2k

Hand2
I call an early limper with AA. 4 other callers and no raisers. Whoops.
Flop is Q, T, 2
I bet the pot and take it down to get out of jail.

I then get back to about 2800 by raising with AQ and KT pre-flop and betting missed flops.

Hand3
I raise in the cutoff to 300 with 6d8d and get called by the SB.
Flop 8h8c9h
SB bets 300 and I call.
Turn is 2h
SB bets 500 and I push for 2.2k total.
He calls and has the flush with KhQh.
River brings the house though and I am up to 5.7k.

I played this hand poorly, but the poker gods were on my side.

Hand4
Early raiser to 500 and I call with 5c5d. SB calls and then the BB pushes all in. The initial raiser calls. Hmmm - I still have 3k behind going into the break if I pass here, and my pocket 5s aren't looking up to much anymore. I fold. SB calls and we have a 3 way all-in. AQ v AT v A9. They all miss - pocket 5s would have won a monster pot! 3k at the break, and with blinds of 200/400 I'm in the emergency ward.

Honest Dave moves to the table - he has a mountain of chips but needs to leave soon to pick up his girlfriend. Perfect spot to get some chips?

Hand5
Honest Dave raises to 1200 from early position (his 3rd raise on the bounce). One other caller before I shove with AQ and all fold.

Hand6
Very next hand, I limp with QQ UTG and Honest Dave makes it 1600 out of the BB. I flat call, because I want the lot. My hand is perfectly disguised now, as the standard limp play UTG with a big pair is to re-raise a raiser.
Flop 3, 5, 8
Dave shoves and I snap call and beat his pocket 2s.
Dave is busto and I am now a big stack with 13k.

I move tables to where the Volcano is dealing, himself with a decent stack. On this table, I pick up a lot of pots on the flop betting feeler bets with only mediocre hands like a missed 55, mid pair with 78 in the hole and QJ hitting middle pair, and soon build my stack up nicely to 16k.

Hand7

I raise a couple limpers at 500-1000 to 5k with AJ in midposition.

I get called by one limper (so I guess that not strong a hand then).

Flop 9, 8, 7

He checks and I shove. He can only call me with TT or JJ I think here out of his range, unless he has somehow flopped a straight or hit a set. I doubt he'd call me with A9 here, because my play looks like an overpair, and it's for his whole stack. He passes.

I find no spots for a couple of orbits and drift down to 15k. Suddenly, the blinds make the huge leap to 2k/4k meaning that I am UTG with only just over 3 BB. I decide I don't want to go down below this so will shove with any two cards.

Hand8

I shove with 4s5s. SB dwells for a long time and eventually passes A10.

Final table time

Hand9

There are 6 of us left now - the tournament has descended into crapshoot status due to time constraints. I have about 16k after sitting out a round with the blinds at 2k/4k. I find A10 UTG and push all in. I get called by the short-stacked button who has pocket 9s so it's a race. I hit a ten on the flop but he also hits a set of 9s and I'm crippled and down to 6.5k.

Hand10

Volcano limps UTG and it folds round to me in the BB and I go all in without looking for the last 2.5k, which Volcano has to call. He has Ace rag and it's good against my Kh7h. I bust out in 6th place.

A very enjoyable evening - lots of laughs and plenty of beer, and the standard of poker was good as well. I'm certain I'll go again, but probably won't have the time to make it a weekly event. Coincidentally this Tuesday night pub game is moving from next week..............to the Loose Cannon.

Next game is tomorrow night at LC for a UKPT league match. To give my blog some extra variety I'm going to write that report in the style of an online internet geek. Ship the sick lingo......

PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 3,305
Live Holdem Cash (1,325)
Live Omaha (190)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games 540
Online Holdem Tournaments 56,328
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 330
Sundry 854
Rake (4,207)
65,130

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Bits and Pieces

Date: Mon, Jul 7, 2008 Professional

The Main Event is underway at the Rio, the 4th opening day having just been completed. From my brief review of the action, it seems that not a lot has changed from last year.

Poor deep stacked play is the order of the day, and this is to be expected as most of the players will be unfamiliar with playing a 20k stack, and the impact that has on how to play hands preflop and postflop, particularly during the early levels. I have a feeling this will change in years to come, due to the huge popularity of the deep stack festivals provided by other casinos. The sheer volume of players playing these festivals, means that people will evolve their deep stack play in my opinion.

Some of the hand histories I could not believe (although pokernews have been known to get their facts wrong from time to time). Example below from Raymond Rahme (a final table player last year).

4 limpers at 150/300 and Rahmond Rahme is in the hijack and checks. with Qh9h

Flop is 7c 2h 8h

Early limper bets 800 into the pot of 1800.

Rahme raises 8100 all in with his Queen flush draw. So...............8100 into a pot pf 2600, with a frankly mediocre draw............. awful if this is correctly reported. The other guy calls with pocket Kings and they hold. I'm not sure how the guy makes the call to be honest (unless he had a ton of chips) because Rahme's play looks like two pair or a set of 2s to me, and he's just trying to take the pot down without risking someone flushing. The mind boggles.

It seems the ESPN "star names" have largely bitten the dust early as well - I haven't seen the full chip counts for Day 1D, but it looks like Jennifer Harman and Carlos Mortenson are the only big name players well placed at the moment.

If I were to pick a couple of players against the field at this stage, I think I'd go for Alex Kostritsyn, the consistent Russian Aussie Millions winner (95k stack near end of day1) and Lee Watts, the Canadian who is sitting on 101k. Watts runs pretty hot and cold, but he'll either be out during Day2 or will run really deep I think.

It's a real shame not to be there - 2009 will almost certainly see my Main Event debut, as I'm not going to bother going to Vegas during the warm up events. I'm unsure whether Sonny played in the end - if he did hopefully he's still in there.

In other news, the WSOPE have announced their schedule for September. Whilst the Main Event is still ludicrously priced at 10k GBP entry, I see there is a £1,500 bracelet side event, which I imagine I will play on September 9th. Harrah's are banging on in the press about how people play UKPT regularly for 1k, so they are expecting a sell out field. What they neglect to mention, of course, is that the UKPT events are 10k starting stacks, whereas WSOP will doubtless stick to their formula of a 3k chip starting stack. I guess I'll still be seduced by the chance of winning the bracelet, and enter this expensive crapshoot, but we shall see.

Finally Shazbo finally started playing on Full Tilt with pretty spectacular results. In three $75 tournaments entered (with 250 runners or above), she cashed in all three and made two final tables winning a total of 5k. Nice.

This week sees the UKPT League again on Thursday, followed by my home game on Saturday night. If past form is anything to go by, the home game will be carnage, ending at 9am Sunday morning, and will cost me approximately £300. In addition, the Omaha planets will align once again, and Honest Dave will win circa £2k ;)

PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 3,305
Live Holdem Cash (1,325)
Live Omaha (190)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games 540
Online Holdem Tournaments 56,328
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 330
Sundry 854
Rake (4,207)
65,130

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Pickin' Strawberries

Date: Fri, Jul 4, 2008 Professional

The strawberry pickers have it tough - stooped for up to 10 hours a day in the heat for an average of $8 an hour. This reward is pretty much exactly in line with the meagre profits I generated in my 7 hour stint at the Loose Cannon last night.

I ground out £78 profit on the cash game, and taking out the £50 tournament entry that left me with a £28 return, coming in at £4 an hour. Joy.

I played pretty well in the tournament until my implosion hand occurred. We were short handed most of the time, so playing a large volume of hands was the order of the day. Unfortunately, when medium stacked I pushed over the SB's raise when I was in the BB with trash and he had Aces. Nice timing.

The cash game was fierce - there were no weak spots at all, and some fine poker was played. The drinks flowed, and we heard tales of wine, women and Mozart (not as cultured as it sounds, but I probably can't go into it on here).

I could have been up by a significantly bigger margin, but I was completely owned in one hand, the dynamics of which are still troubling me. It played out as follows:

I raised a couple of limpers to £5 with 8d9d. I get 3 callers.

Flop is Ac, Ah, 7c

It's checked around, and I decide to represent the Ace, given that I was the initial raiser.

Turn is 7s

I check and player bets £20 and I flat call - the others fold.

River is Qh

I check and player bets £50. I min-raise to £100 with nothing, but the betting really looks like an Ace now. However my opponent INSTACALLS with Qc4s. Good grief - am I that transparent? The fact that he paired the Queen on the river is pretty much irrelevant - he simply didn't believe me and effectively was happy to bet/call with Queen high to go with the 2 pair. Should have made it more on the end I think, but the speed with which he called, leads me to think he'd have had me anyway.

I actually dreamt about that hand last night..............better than dreaming of The Baron drinking Sancerre sitting in his duds I guess.


PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 3,305
Live Holdem Cash (1,325)
Live Omaha (190)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games 540
Online Holdem Tournaments 56,628
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 330
Sundry 854
Rake (4,177)
65,460

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In From The Cold

Date: Wed, Jul 2, 2008 Professional

"Go on Tony, it was only a small oversight"

"Peter - the interest on that loan you didn't declare was £2,200 a month - I'm not sure the public will like it. You've only been gone from the Cabinet 10 months."

"The Lord preaches forgiveness Tony"

"Alistair says I'm not allowed to do God"

"Who's the higher power Tony? Alistair Campbell, God or Me?"

"You are Peter"

"So..................."

"Ok - you can be Secretary of State for Northern Ireland. Just don't tell Gordon or Alistair until you pitch up at the next Cabinet meeting"

And so it came to pass in 1999 - the persuasive Peter Mandelson slide effortlessly back into the cabinet ,after 10 months out in the cold.

My London tournament form had given me feelings of being the forgotten man over the last 3 months. I had ONE cash in the whole period (althought that was a first place), after losing seemingly every race I got into. All that changed last night - some solid play combined with a few strokes of luck earned me 3rd place in the Better Poker £50 event, which was worth a payout of £500. Here is how it panned out:

Hand1
I raise to 150 on the button with Ac3c and get called by the SB. Flop comes down Ad, 3s, 8s. I raise his 300 lead to 1k and take it down. If he does have an Ace here, I really don't want him hitting a disguised bigger 2 pair there, and costing me a bundle.

Hand2
I limp UTG with JJ for 100. I get 4 callers. Hmm - that wasn't the plan.
All is well though with a JQ5 flop.
I bet 600 and get one caller.
Turn bricks.
I bet 1200 and take it down.

Hand3
I try to steal from the cutoff with 4c9s but get a caller and then a shove from the big blind. I go into the break on 5k from a 3.5k starting stack.

Hand4
I raise with AcJc UTG to 600. Prowler calls in the BB.
Flop is Ks, Jd, 6c
Prowler leads for 1k. He only has 1.7k behind so I foolishly put him in and he eventually calls with KQ.
I river a Jack to eliminate him. Up to about 9k now.

Hand5
I call a raise to 700 with AK on the button, and the SB calls behind. The BB shoves for 3k total, and after the initial raise drops out I pretty much have to call. The SB undercalls all in as well.
It's AK(me), KQ(SB), KK(BB)
All of his Kings are gone, but he holds, and I am back down to 6k.

Hand6
Blinds now 200-400 and there is a raise to 1k - I call in the BB with Jd9s
Flop is 9d, 5d, 4d
My hand is pretty huge - top pair, decent kicker, decent flush draw so I check shove on him and he makes the call with A5 (no diamonds). I fade the meagre outs he has and am up to 10k.

Table move - I am now on a much harder table - contains lots of big stacks, and the owners of said stacks are The Baron, Sonny and Graeme Newman (Grazza = Ladbrokes World Online Poker Championship Main Event winner).

I get a few raises through to snuffle the blinds and then comes a key hand:

Hand7
The Baron limps for 1200, and Grazza makes it 5k. I push for 10k total with AQ. Grazza pretty much has to call, but it's a disaster for him as he has Q4, and I hold to get up to 20k.

The bubble bursts and we are off to the final table - I am probably in about 5th spot of the 9 remaining runners.

Hand8
I am in in the BB with 18k, blinds are 1k/2k. Grazza raises to 6k from mid position. I remember from the Irish Open that he does like to raise his fair share of pots once the blinds kick in, so his range is pretty wide here. I shove with 9d10c and he eventually makes the odds call, with 7s8s. My hand holds, and Grazza is crippled, busting out soon after in 9th spot.

Hand9
I donk off 6k of my new wealth calling an all in with AJ sooted. Opponent has AQ - bad call.

Hand10
We are down to 7 players. There is an early raiser to 8k. With my stack at 25k and nowhere near the chip lead, I decide to (hopefully) take a race on and shove with 66. Early raiser calls with AJ and I hold, eliminating him and move into contention for the win for the first time.

Now 4 left

Hand11
I call an all-in for 8k holding AhJh in the BB but get outdrawn by KsJc.

Now 3 players remaining

I shove a bit to keep up with the monster blinds but finally succumb pushing over the top of the button's raise to 20k with KJ with blinds at 4k/8k and my stack is at 50k. He has Ace rag and it holds. 3rd place for me and £500 - a very pleasing performance.

Sonny wins the tournament to maintain his good form. He is off to Vegas tomorrow - good luck that man. I also play some 5/6 card Omaha and lose £150 of my winnings. Not a great fan of that game - seems to me you need to have pretty close to the nuts to get involved, particularly in the 6 card beast.

So, like good old Peter Mandelson, I am back in from the cold. The warm environment of the MTT London winners circle has finally embraced me again. Hopefully I can stay there over the coming months. Better not upset the apple cart by trying to facilitate passports for rich Indian businessmen I guess........


PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 3,415
Live Holdem Cash (1,481)
Live Omaha (190)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games 540
Online Holdem Tournaments 56,628
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 330
Sundry 854
Rake (4,167)
65,424

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