Poker gems, #139
Date: Wed, Jul 2, 2008
From installment #8 of "Stupid/System," here.
Limit Hold 'em. "The Toyota Camry of Poker." This game is played exactly like Hold 'em, but without excitement.
Pot Limit Omaha. ...The best thing to do with PLO is to offset your limited outs with careful play. Wait until you have four cards that are all one suit, so you only have to flop one card for a VERY well-concealed flush. Or if you're dealt three or even four of a kind, you might consider betting your quads. As you can see, this is a game designed for slow-playing.
Oh, look--a royal fizzbin!
Date: Wed, Jul 2, 2008
I was just kind of aimlessly wandering through these interweb thingies when I came upon this page of excellent "inspirational" posters based on Star Trek scenes and characters. What--I've never done a Star Trek post before? That seems hard to believe. (I just did a search for "trek," and found that I have mentioned the series at least three times before, so now I've tagged those with a "star trek" label. Don't know why I didn't do it earlier.)
Two of the posters were ones I thought I could make some sort of stretch to poker in order to justify reposting them here. The first one, above, is the great scene in which Kirk makes up a card game called "Fizzbin" that sort of vaguely starts out seeming like stud poker, though it's much, much more complicated. See the rules here.
It reminds me that one of my favorite occasional amusements when I'm bored at the poker table is making up rules. My preferred target is a tourist playing in a casino for the first time. It has to be somebody that obviously has a good sense of humor. It helps if he has been drinking. I wait for some opportune moment, then catch him off-guard with the announcement of some make-believe rule. "Oh no, sir, you don't get the high-hand bonus for that straight flush--the cards have to come out in consecutive order for you to qualify." "No, I win the pot. It's a special promotion on Tuesday afternoons: straights beat flushes." "Um, sir, if you're tipping the cocktail waitress a dollar, you have to give one to everybody at the table. House rule. It's right up there on the wall." "You can't raise. When the board is double-paired like that, one bet is the cap."
I can usually get the sucker to bite at first, because most of the time I'm very quiet and serious, so nobody is expecting me to try to be funny. It helps if the dealer is quick-witted and fun-loving enough to go along with it, though that's not common. (I usually just get dirty looks from them.)
It's all in good fun, and I never leave the victim hanging for more than a few seconds before giving them a smile or a wink to let them know they've been had, and let the game go on.
I guess that writing so much about UltimateBet recently is what made this one stand out for me. 'Nuff said.
It hurts. It hurts SO bad.
Date: Wed, Jul 2, 2008
The pain is so deep, so intense, that I cannot comment. I can only post the facts, and hope you understand. (Non-razz players need read no further. You cannot know. Just kindly avert your gaze from my pitiable state of agony, and move on.)
*******************************************************************
PokerStars Game #18524408984: Razz Limit ($1/$2) - 2008/07/02 - 02:04:30 (ET)
Table 'Aisakos III' 8-max
*** 3rd STREET ***
Dealt to owlycat [6d]
Dealt to mondo nutz [8s]
Dealt to Fast Normie [Jc]
Dealt to Tactix [Kd]
Dealt to DaviTeresina [Ac]
Dealt to Rakewell1 [2h 3h Ah]
Dealt to JohnnyB3692 [8d]
Dealt to jbrennen [5c]
Tactix: brings in for $0.50
DaviTeresina: raises $0.50 to $1
Rakewell1: raises $1 to $2
JohnnyB3692: folds
jbrennen: folds
owlycat: calls $2
mondo nutz: folds
Fast Normie: folds
Tactix: folds
DaviTeresina: calls $1
*** 4th STREET ***
Dealt to owlycat [6d] [9d]
Dealt to DaviTeresina [Ac] [5h]
Dealt to Rakewell1 [2h 3h Ah] [Ad]
DaviTeresina: bets $1
Rakewell1: calls $1
owlycat: folds
*** 5th STREET ***
Dealt to DaviTeresina [Ac 5h] [Qd]
Dealt to Rakewell1 [2h 3h Ah Ad] [7h]
DaviTeresina: bets $2
Rakewell1: calls $2
*** 6th STREET ***
Dealt to DaviTeresina [Ac 5h Qd] [2c]
Dealt to Rakewell1 [2h 3h Ah Ad 7h] [Ks]
DaviTeresina: bets $2
Rakewell1: calls $2
*** RIVER ***
Dealt to Rakewell1 [2h 3h Ah Ad 7h Ks] [3c]
DaviTeresina: bets $2
Rakewell1: folds
Uncalled bet ($2) returned to DaviTeresina
DaviTeresina collected $16.55 from pot
DaviTeresina: doesn't show hand
***************************************************************************
Boils all over the body? Family being killed off? Those are nothing--bring 'em on. If God had really wanted to hurt Job, he would have forced him to play razz.
The illustration above, incidentally, is a depiction of a face in pain, another fine piece by the remarkable neurologist, Charles Bell, about whom I wrote a bit here. I found it on this page, which is part of the UCLA biomedical library's site devoted to a 1998 symposium/art exhibit they put on devoted to the history of understanding and treating pain. Interesting stuff.
An update on UltimateBlecch
Date: Tue, Jul 1, 2008
Eric "Rizen" Lynch has announced his resignation as a member of UltimateBet's team of pro players, less than a month after signing on. In his two blog posts on the matter (here and here) he doesn't go into much detail as to his reasons, though he is emphatic that it's not because he thinks it's an unsafe place to play. Something about how they handled the announcement of his signing, and not getting promised changes in place soon enough. One has to suspect, though, that the barrage of abuse he took for throwing his name into that sewer had something to do with him reversing course. Interesting development, whatever the motivation may have been.
Dogs playing poker in the dirt
Date: Tue, Jul 1, 2008
Regular readers know by now that I love the schlocky "Dogs Playing Poker" paintings. (There's a whole label devoted to it; click at the end of this post, or in the list at the lower left.) Here's a unique rendering of the one called "A Friend in Need," done by artist Scott Wade in the dirt on the rear window of his Mini Cooper. The last three detailed photos are after a bit of rain.
To see all of Wade's rather amazing dirty-car art, click here.
Poker gems, #138
Date: Mon, Jun 30, 2008
Matt Damon, as Mike McDermott, in "Rounders."
It's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
Changing and selective enforcement of WSOP rules?
Date: Mon, Jun 30, 2008
Being something of a poker rules geek, I was interested in this report from Bryan Micon. Unfortunately, I find his story quite credible. Hellmuth's reported behavior is certainly consistent with everything we've come to expect from the jerk. And tournament officials can indeed be as arbitrary, dictatorial, and unhelpful as the ones described by Micon.
We should be able to expect a lot better from the poker world's premiere event, but, sadly, multiple stories from highly credible sources every year (see, e.g., this post about another horrible floor decision from early in this year's WSOP) leave me with the conclusion that we can't.
Harrah's should give out a printed copy of the rules to every player upon registration, so that when the floor people don't know the applicable rule, somebody at the table can point them to it.
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