Sexy Rexxy and all that Jazz

Date: Wed, Oct 8, 2008

Oops. Hit enter too soon. Premature Blogging about Rex. hmm.

Anyways. Lets see. First off I won the Skillz SNG last night. It was LHE and got me to about 8th in the standings with probably like 5 games played all year. I think I am break even there.

I had a good time HU with Lightning. We had a lot of suck-resuck going on and I even caught a two outer to really mess with his mind. Of course he should never have capped my with J5 on the flop. Bitch. He started with a decent sized lead but with the blinds at 1K it really was anyone's game. I noticed him playing like a scared bitch early on and took advantage. Like any good player he noticed that I noticed so adjusted. I found a really nice tell on the guy though. It was hilarious and worked every time. I would tell you what it is but I want to keep using it.

I fucking hate Obama. I can not tell you why. I just have very good instincts about people and just hate his guts. He just fucking sends every alarm in my body screaming out loud. As one blogger said, and I am starting to believe, "Obama might be the Anti-Christ".. Believe it people. Could be true. I was right about Bush and the price of gas. I might be right here.

On the Sexy Rexy front she is offering up her body.. no wait, that was a dream, she is offering up a couple hundred bucks in the form of a subscription to the Poker-X factor. If anyone is interested. Essentially she just wants you to write about the following: -What has playing poker taught you about yourself?

I may do this for fun but if I join PXF I may not be able to stay break even. Read all the details on her blog anyways.

As for my blog it has become a bit stale. I have been thinking about ideas on spicing it up. The HU 500$ SNG is probably the best writing I have done all month on this thing. I was thinking of having an Ask Waffles Friday. No holds barred Q&A session baby. You can ask my advice on things in your life since I am brilliant. You can ask me personal questions. No baby, I will not let you suck my dick, I am married. Ok I will try not to lie in the future. Anyhow. Get your questions in anytime on Friday and I will answer as many as possible by the end of the day.

Otherwise I have nothing really interesting to add. I have been exploring the internals of Poker lately. It is impossible to explain the intangibles to people. In a huge way I think these are what make a great player. Sure you can read guys like Poker Gnome who are very good and they might teach you how to get that 1% more ROI on that 3-bet in late position or some such thing like that. However if you can not reach into the depths of your soul and figure out how to be at peace with your game you will never be a winner. Ok. I guess it is POSSIBLE some spaz like Mike The Mouth could be a winner without inner peace but not you dick for brains. So shut up. Fuck even the Mouth has figured out that his mental attitude costs him a ton of success.

Peace out motherfuckers. I will be playing the Mookie tonight. Even though I lost the bet I think I should be on top of the leaderboard. It only makes sense. So I am going to make it happen.

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Technological Advancements

Date: Tue, Oct 7, 2008

I just read about a pain suit that works with WoW. Now while this is kind of cool and great the only real interest I have here is the implications that Doc Chako spoke about in his blog today.

I think the technology actually could advance to a much higher degree with full body suits interacting with CGI models. However I think these models would be customizable. For instance you could go to any of the latest Bash pictures and pull off a bunch of CK pics. You could then feed these into the system and they would model and take guesses until they created a CK plaything(TM). I may never be able to have CK in real life but Virtual Reality? It could be a possibility. While I doubt that it would know as many moves as CK it would have to be a good runner up.

I love technology.

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Short People

Date: Thu, Oct 2, 2008

It is the Blogfathers fifth year of bloggin. What does Iggy mean to me besides little man dwarf sex. I have been around the little fellow for almost his entire run at Guinness and Poker. I remember my first days as a newbie blogger and how the tiny fellow made me feel like a part of a bigger community. I now realize that he only did this because he enjoyed laughing at my miserable train wreck of poker play in those early days.

Every time I would sit down at a Party Poker table he would show up. I thought it was because he liked me but now I realize that he crunched the numbers and could make more from me at a fifty cent table than he could five tabling 5/10 LHE. Proof that even though his body may be tiny his mind is not.

You as readers of his blog might not realize that he actually knows anything about poker. I personally have never seen him write one bit of original poker theory in all the years I have read him. It appears at first glance he knows nothing at all about poker but is great at cutting and pasting. However I have been blessed by the opportunity to speak with him on girlie chat. Let me assure you he really does not know anything about poker. He keeps encouraging me to be a better player and to really deeply understand poker at a higher level. Positive proof he knows not what he does.

He always answers my questions with a "depends", more proof that his fundamental skills are weak. Somehow lately though I have really begun to understand what he has been saying to me all along and that really makes me a much better player. You're a good friend Mr. Iggy and I feel really blessed to know you. Congratulations on the anniversary of your blog. May there be many more.

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Angels, Devils, and Plans

Date: Thu, Oct 2, 2008

Angles vs Red Sox. WOW. No not WoW. WOW. What a game. Great way to start the series with a pitchers duel. Sure the Sox got some extra help in the late innings but that was one of the best games I have seen in a while. I think this is going to be a fun series. The Angels were a great team all season long. I give them the edge there. The big question is if they will be able to overcome TEN STRAIGHT PLAYOFF LOSSES to the Red Sox. I would not want to be betting this series.

I played the Mookie and busted out early to ScottMc when he did not believe my bluff of a pair of aces. He should have folded his set. Dammit! What an assclown. Actually I think he played a very weak game. He should be shot for letting his game deteriorate that far. I think he went out the next hand when he jammed his A5o into someone who had AA. I am not positive. Just saying. I wonder if he will ever blog again?

I played LO8. Lately I have been letting these cash games get to me. I just get so pissed off when I have A2Q3 s00ted on the turn with two lows and two s000t. Some ass hat calls me with K984 all same suit. No draws except the lower flush. The river pops a miracle fucking king and he takes it down. ARRRH! I really need to stop letting this kind of thing frustrate me.

On the good side of things I ended leaving that table up three full buyins. Some tard was railing me and we agreed if I made it to two hundred from my original sixty buyin that I would send him ten bucks. So I shipped it.

These games have so much short term variance -- which is the part that frustrates me -- but they can be so profitable. Hopefully I can get it under control and just enjoy the game.

I won a 14$ 75-peep token race also. That was fun. I basically played tight until the blinds were at 500ish. I had about a 3-4k stack and there were fifteen people left to the money. I had a limper before me and the blinds. I had been playing very tight. So I decide to jam my AT. He calls for 1/3 his stack with 88. Now this being a game where you do not have to take first I think his call was ridiculous. However he was ahead until I rivered an Ace on his ass. The normal "Why always me", can spewing from his mouth. He actually did hang on to win a token though. I basically folded every hand after this and sat on my 11K stack until it dwindled down to 7K and finally some shorties got kicked.

I was undecided about how to spend my token. I have been making plans and discussing playing the 750K Guaranteed every week. So I dialed up LJ on the IM and asked her what she would spend a token on. Her response was "The 750K SNG Satellite".. "The Whooziwhatzit?".. Go look in SNGs silly. So I did and I LOVE LJ. It is great when things come together like that.

Anyway this is my plan. Ways to get into the 750K Guaranteed:

1. Win 14$ Token Frenzy then use token to play 9 person SNG for 750K entry.
2. Play $55 Satellite
3. If and only if I have made over 200 bucks in the week I will just buy in directly.

Obviously the first two options are preferred. I can play the 14$ Tokens every night at around 10ish and hit up the Satellite that night if I feel up to it or wait until the next day. I think this is a great plan. I feel like this is going to work out in a big way. Only time will tell though.

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MeMooMoMo

Date: Wed, Oct 1, 2008

1. Do you have the guts to answer these questions and re-post as The Controversial Survey?
Um ok.

2. Would you do meth if it was legal?
No. Have you seen those meth heads? I am fucking ugly enough as it is.

3. Abortion: for or against it?
I am for free choice but would never feel right about aborting a child I helped make. I think adoption is a much better idea.

4. Do you think the world would fail with a female president?
Fuck no! I am in love with Palin and I hope McCain wins and then dies so she becomes president. My fantasy of a world run by sex starved women will be that much closer to reality.

5. Do you believe in the death penalty?
I am totally for the death penalty but only in certain circumstances. I think the crime has to be one which you can reasonably assume the person might do it again. A guy coming home and finding his wife in bed with another man and shooting him would not be death penalty. Any serial or mass murderer sure. I include people found to be mentally insane here too. I do not harbor any ill feelings towards them but if they are insane they are likely to do it again and should be put down.

My second criteria for the death penalty is undeniable irrefutable proof. I really do not think anyone should die because a witness said he did it with no proof. At a minimum DNA evidence must be found at the scene.

The only argument against the death penalty that holds any weight with me is that people either make mistakes or get setup by corrupt officials. I think it would be bad to kill an innocent person so I do think that near absolute proof is necessary. If someone innocent was killed though I think I would still support the death penalty. How many innocent people die because murderers are let loose again.

6. Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already?
Yeah. Be consistent America. Either ban all Alcohol or legalize marijuana. They relatively equal effects in my opinion. If people want to be alcoholics or druggies it is their own decision.

7. Are you for or against premarital sex?
I am for all sex. Pro sex here. Please can I have some sex?

8. Do you believe in God?
I am not sure. I really can not believe in the institutions that proclaim religion. These places are just too fucked up to be believed. I find it hard to figure out what to believe. I mean there are Muslims just waiting to die because Allah offers them the sixty virgin blowjob scenerio and they believe this is what god wants. Fully. Truly. Totally. So what is the difference between that and a Christian? How can you really know what god wants from you or for you? Even if you do believe this world is too incredible to have randomly occurred what is your next step? People are too willing to be self deceived so how do you separate faith with self delusion and a desire to belong to something bigger than you. I just can not come to terms with any of this.

9. Do you think same sex marriage should be legalized?
Fuck ya. Why the hell not. If the gays want the pain that marriage brings like 99% of us straights then I say go for it. Child support. Spousal support. All that. You sure you really want all that?

10. Do you think it's wrong that so many Hispanics are illegally moving to the USA?
Not really. However stop asking for "Legal" privileges. Your a fucking criminal and you do not deserve unemployment, welfare, or any other social evil that my taxes pay for. I think we need to allow more Hispanics LEGALLY into our country since Americans do not want to do certain jobs anymore.

11. A twelve year old girl has a baby, should she keep it?
I would say she should put it up for adoption. Twelve is too young for that kind of responsibility. She basically will either never be able to be a kid or neglect the kid and pass the upbringing onto her parents. I doubt that many of these babies having babies ever work out well so adoption would probably be the best option.

12. Should the alcohol age be lowered to eighteen?
Absolutely. We should start drinking earlier but we as Americans do not drink right. We are a total binge drinking nations where other countries start young and teach their kids to drink responsibly.

13. Should the war in Iraq be called off?
yes. Bush is a fucking lying scumbag and no more brave honorable soldiers should die because of his moronic need to feel important or whatever drives that flaming faggot. Our soldiers deserve better than him.

14. Should assisted suicide be legal?
I think in cases where you have a terminal illness and your quality of life is gone that doctors should be allowed to terminate you with your consent. I do think assisted suicide should be legal. Obviously not to 16yr olds who think their life is over but to people with no real lives just days of pain and suffering.

15. Do you believe in spanking your children?
I think children having a little bit of fear of you is not a bad thing. It should be done under control not when your angry at the kid. I am not sure if it causes your child to act any better but the threat is good to have. With my kids I find my son reacts the best to having things taken away from him. Like no Warcraft for a week. My daughter is a sweet angel and never has to be punished.

16. Would you burn an American flag for a million dollars?
Fuck ya. Why the hell not. I would do a lot of things for a million dollars.

17. Who do you think would make a better president? McCain or Obama?
I used to be for Obama then I heard him talk. I have a very highly trained asshole sensor and it was blaring loud and clear. Holy crap I hate that guy now. I think he is the biggest fucking retard ever. Well George Bush is but he is a close second. I can not vote for him. I think I will be voting for tits this year.

18. Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?
Have you read this blog? Hello? Does it appear that I give a fuck what people think? I really have never let other people dictate how I act. If someone is offended by me then that is their problem. If I say something hurtful then sure I am willing to apologize but otherwise fuck you.

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Little Bitch

Date: Tue, Sep 30, 2008

Hello my people. Waffles here. SO I was sitting down at a 10$ NLHE table. Not 10/20, ten dollahs. I was reading an article from Ed Miller and he said a few things about aggression that got me thinking. Cash game only. So anyway. The part I liked. The thing that caught my attention. He said "You have to be willing to lose your buyin multiple times". Especially in short stacked games like we play you have to be aggressive and be will to shove it in. So anyway I wanted to focus on being willing to lose 5-10BI and not have it effect me. So I sat down at the kiddie tables.

So I did pretty well. I was about even then I lost a little. I invited my boys PE, PushMonkey, and Bayne to join me. We were having a fun time. Shoving over each other. Running over the table. I was playing the maniac role bigtime and make huge all in calls with T9o and shit like that. I mean it was nuts. However it did not matter since it was baby money. I think I may have learned something from that tonight.

So we all are minding our own business and this dude comes over and he is all like "Pushmonkey you fucking retard play me HU for 500". So like Pushmonkey is my boy and NOBODY but me calls him a fucking donkey. Not some Full Tilt fucktard that is for sure. Especially one on the rail. So he goes on and on and I start saying he had a threesome with his moms and his grandmoms in his moms basement where he lives and shit.

Finally I get his attention. He is like "You wanna play HU for 500?".. SO I really do not want to do that. I mean I have been a good boy lately with the bankroll. This guy keeps going on and on. So I say "I only play 1k and above". I go through all this shit to prove I have 1k and then he is like "nah I only play 500".. We go back and forth but he will not shut the fuck up. Now I am getting pissed.

So finally I say fuck it. I am going to school this motherfucker. Waffles style baby. So I sit down at the 500/SNG HU and to my great surprise he sits down after me. First hand I have JJ and go over the top of him. I say "Bitch, you are weak, and I am going to run over you".

We talk a bit. We play like 5 hands. I finally get crabs baby. No not the kind that Wes's dates have. The 33 man. The penultimate hand right? The stone cold nuts HU? So I raise. I had been raising a lot. I also really played donkish at the 10$ table. So he calls. I flop the set with an Ace on the board. I am SURE I am getting paid. I bet. He calls. The turn is a heart. Now I think he might have a flush. So I lead out on the turn. He decides to just call. I am a little worried now. Until the board pairs on the river. I lead out for pot. He jams all in. I show the boat and he shows the J high flush. Slow play. No pay.

So lesson to you people out there. Waffles backs his boys and do not fuck with a break even player they will eat you alive motherfuckers.

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Politics and WoW

Date: Mon, Sep 29, 2008

So we are finding out that Pallin is a ditz. Is this a surprise? While you fucking egg heads were pissing your pants over that advanced Calculus quiz Pallin was out LIVING. She was shooting down beer kegs and giving out blow jobs in the bathroom. Because SHE IS PRETTY and YOU ARE NOT. So you have a HUGE head start on her. Give the lady a break. "Tits for Vice President" - Waffles Approved.

On the WoW front I actually did a very fun quest last night.

I headed up to Tarren Mill. In a graveyard I met up with this really pissed off dead guy. Apparently the humans of Southshore killed him AND BURIED HIM! OMG WTF! I relate as I am an undead rogue on this server because a blogger asked me to. He will remain nameless because he will kick my ass if I out him as a WoW nerd.

Anyway this fucker made me run all over the place charging up his scepter. Then I snuck down to Southshore which is an alliance town. I crept down there with my rogue and planted the scepter in his grave, expecting him to summon a vast horde of undead killers to spread his deadly vengeance. The guy comes and I watch him walking around the graves. He is not doing anything. Just walking and looking around. So I am getting kind of pissed off at him. I turn to the huge hulking Tauren warrior blogger and say "Go get a guard to come over here".. so he chases down a guard and brings him back.

Holy fuck. My guy flips out then and starts this dark magic casting. He calls doom upon the helpless guard and summons four fiends from the grave to destroy the poor fool. I cackle with glee. My brutish friend who has much brawn but not too many brains decides he will jump on his Kodo and pull in a whole town full of guards. He succeeds but is slain in the process. My powerful dead friend destroys the guards the warrior brought. I then un-stealth and fall on the floor laughing my head off.

Unfortunately my cackles of glee attract the attentions of a high level Paladin. The self righteous fool comes charging in at me. "By all that is holy I smite you Horde Rogue!" he yells. I tremble in my boots because he is much much higher level than I am. He swings at me once and then my sorcerer looks at him and yell "By all that is UNHOLY you will die Paladin scum!".. and before the defender of light can take another swing at me he is surrounded by four more ghouls who all start wacking the shit out of him. He quickly turns from me and tries to defend himself. I return to my previous howling in glee. He runs off with my defenders in hot pursuit. Eventually with the help of the guards they defeat my evil minion. However as a wise rogue I have stealthed a long time ago and am watching from a distance.

My grumbling warrior friend finally makes it back but before we can continue adventuring he has to go change some poopy diapers. So our night is over but a fun one it was, at least for me.

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Awesome Finish

Date: Thu, Sep 25, 2008

I am really touched that we got ninety people to come out to the Mookie. It meant a lot. I had a GREAT time and even though I finished up about 12 short of the goal it was all worth it. Great job to LJ for defending her title. You are a champion. I really had the best time playing poker tonight.

I played a decent game too. Had my share of suckouts against people and lost some key hands where I was ahead. Finally had to jam into Mikey and could not pull out a suckout.

All in all one of the best nights I have had this month. Thank you all for keeping the excitement high and coming out for the finale. Next time I will make you all proud.

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Moose is back on the Loose

Date: Wed, Sep 24, 2008

My Character MooseLover (used to be MooseNipple but the communists at Blizzard made me change it) is finally back. All his equipment is back. He is doing pretty well. I am happy with the final resolution basically. I did lose 100g on my Warlock unfortunately. All things being equal though that is not horrible.

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Is it Wednesday?

Date: Wed, Sep 24, 2008

Tonight is the night. Let's get the numbers up and pop that 80 person cherry. I know we have eighty people out there. The BBT3 generated at least that many. See you then.

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Bad Beat

Date: Tue, Sep 23, 2008

Maybe it is Wednesday maybe that super light particle machine ceated a black hole that transferred us back a day but only certain people realize this happened
[13:53] SirFWALGMan

It is fucking Tuesday? Jesus. What a bad beat. I have to work an extra day this week now. Blah.

Anyway TOMORROW night is the Mookie. I am adding a prize to the Mookie tomorrow night. If we get enough people to cover the bet I am putting up an extra $109 to the winner whoever that might be. It should be used to buyin to an MTT but if you want to keep the cash it is cool with me.

So there you have it. An extra $109 on top if we can ramp up the Mookie numbers enough to give me a shot at beating LJ. Think we can do it? I think there is a good chance to get that many people. The buzz is heating up. Get everyone there. Also many thanks to BoneDaddy for a great idea to get an extra $11 in the prize pool :P.

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MOOKAY?

Date: Tue, Sep 23, 2008

Tonight is the Mookie. Final possible chance to catch up to LJ. She has done her best and has put this pretty much out of reach. We need to get around eighty people to join in order for me to have a shot.

My last two sessions of poker have sucked balls. I have dropped like a hundred each time to asshats who get incredibly fucking lucky. To be honest I am not even feeling like playing tonight. I guess my mood might perk up if we do actually get the eighty people we need but I am annoyed right now. Oh well.

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Yea or Nay

Date: Mon, Sep 22, 2008

So I was perusing What would Tyler Dork do. I have no idea why I like this blog. Mostly for the pictures of sexy women I guess. Who the fuck is he anyways? Someone told me once but I forgot. He is an idiot.

Anyway he thinks that Doutzen Kroes is super gorgeous. I looked at some of the pictures of her. She is ok. Nothing great. What do you think?

So then I looked on the internet for some pictures of her.

It makes me think with a little airbrushing and makeup I could be not repulsive.

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P@WNED

Date: Mon, Sep 22, 2008

OMFG! I have NEVER seen an ass whipping like the one Miami gave to the Patriots. Believe me I have seen some bad ass whippings too. I mean cmon. You read this blog right? They were dominated in every position. In their own house. Wow. I could understand if the Offense worked poorly because of Cassel but they were just owned. Defense. Could not stop a run. I mean Miami just walked up and down the field. Offense. Turnovers and wobble passes that will get it done. Coaching. In Bill we trust but he was just schooled baby. I mean he was owned up and down and all around. He looked like a fucking high school coach. Wow. I give a ton of credit to Miami for the game they played. It was just amazing. Hopefully the Patriots will not be this bad all year. I doubt they will be but only time will tell. Anyway I am sure 99% of America, AKA The Hatahs will be happy. Have fun. Remember to play Wednesday night too. Tell your friends.

I am thinking of putting up a buyin to a Sunday event if we make enough people to give me a shot at beating LJ. I will post more information on that tomorrow. So get your grandma out of the nursing home and lets make this final game fun.

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