Still got nothing..

Date: Wed, Jul 23, 2008

Boss talking to himself creepy.
Boss calling himself daddy very creepy.

He is the boss though. I guess if I can not be happy losing at poker since I am reformed I have to fall back on the old flame wars. Even this one is not going to be great but lets give it a shot. I started the Mookie way back when as a small group gathering and I am offended that LJ is on the top of the leader board. She is way too skilled at MTTs to be leading this thing.. although she may have the donkey quotient down to be a Mookie Leader I just do not think she captures the Surflexus type donkey that should be the King of all Mooks. So I have decided I will knock her off her perch. In the next few months I am going to play every single Mookie with the goal of becoming the leader board champion of this thing. Fuck I really need better goals if the best I can come up with is being the king of a pack of donkeys.

Ah well let the patheticness continue. Peace out. See you tonight.

Excited but not so much

Date: Mon, Jul 21, 2008

Poker is blah right now for no particular reason. I am winning. I am bored. So I am taking breaks. Meh. I dunno.

I have been leveling my Mage up which is fun. Here are a few cool things I have done lately with him.

Base Jumping
In the Zangamarsh there is a HUGE tower platform where the Alliance have a city. I take my mage to the top of the cliff and look down. I can see creatures and people but they look like ants. I gather my courage and leap from the cliff, spreading my arms, and feeling the air rush through my Draenei tentacles. The ground quickly rushes up towards me and a few seconds before I hit I cast my blink spell and land safely on the ground. If I was a little too late I would have been a blue pancake. However I have successfully executed another daring base jump.

Playing with the Lowbies
Low level HORDE characters are so cute. After a raid where me and one other level 64 made it into the instance in Orgrimmar and proceeded to use gorilla raiding tactics to take out several guards and a few low to mid level characters that got in our way we headed back to the safety of Alliance lands. On our way back we ran into a tiny little cute level eight. He proceeded to attack my friend who is a level 64 priest. So naturally he mind controlled the little guy and sent him into a den of scorpions. The scorpions proceeded to sting him to death while we chuckled.

The little fellow then starts taunting us from behind the relative safety of a few level 65 guards. We destroy the guards but he is out of PVP mode. So my friend challenges him to a duel. When he accepts he is suddenly in PVP mode again. We quickly mind control him and make him attack a guard who hits him for 6k killing him instantly. Hilarious. Finally we charge out and rush through the Crossroads on our way back to friendly territory our epic two man raid on Orgrimmar a complete success.

I know I am a total nerd. Ah well.

Rantless in Boston

Date: Fri, Jul 18, 2008

I know all you haters have been complaining about my blog lately but what can I say. It is hard to rant about losing a few bucks to Coxlover and his tired lucksackery when the bankroll is growing every night. It is pretty close to 2K which while no landmark is pretty good. Sure I got runner-runner sucked out on pretty good last night. I did my share of sucking too. I lasted one hand in the 4K PLO.. AA24 s000ted vs AKQJ no s000t all in preflop. Somehow all this winning takes the edge off. Worst thing that has happened lately at the tables is inadvertently hurting someone I really care a fuckload about by shooting my mouth off. I mean that is not even poker related.

Leveling my Mage has been the biggest grind. He is just under level 62. I am trying to get him to seventy fast but it is not easy. What do I have to rant about? I mean I sucked out bad on Kurokitty. Should I rant that some dude has the name "Kitty"? I mean what the fuck is up with that? As Fuel would say "Ghey".

Hell I even dropped $400 on Bodog which is almost my entire roll there. Do I care? Not really. I had a good time playing with Riggs. It was fun. Does that satiate you train watchers? No? FU Still Riggs.

There is just not much to rant about. You want to hear a really bad beat? Ok here goes. You know my Au Pair? The Fat whore from Venezuela or some McDonalds worker country like that. Yeah her. I just found out I am "PAYING FOR ALL HER FOOD!". Holy fuck! Talk about bad beats.

P.S. Dropping Hoyazo in four hands last night was the BEST HU experience I have had to date. It was classic. Hand Ranges? *snicker*. Calling all in with top pair SHIT kicker. *snicker*. Hoyazo. *snicker*.

SoxLover is a Lucksack

Date: Fri, Jul 18, 2008

I have no idea how I lost to this guy. First I get him to commit his stack when I have a boat to his trips and he sucks out a tie. Then I get him all in on the flop when I have 16 outs 2x over. He had the powerhouse hand of Ace high two kicker. Um. Ok. I had a flush draw and two live cards. Finally I made a bad play putting my last 1k in with a SF draw vs his top pair shit kicker. Second there really sucked after getting pretty lucky all night. Oh well a winning night is a winning night.

LO8 Is Still Great

Date: Thu, Jul 17, 2008

Still enjoying that game. Started off slow tonight. Then I picked up steam and scooped a bunch of pots to end up +2 Buyins. Sweet.

I also got really lucky in the cash game. I tried to make a play and well you decide if my play was ok.. and if the push was good by my opponent.. my final call was a mix between pot committed and fucking pissed off but I thought I laid down a good line... Did I just bluff the unbluffable? Ah well.

Full Tilt Poker Game #7254256310: Table Mary (deep) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 23:45:56 ET - 2008/07/16
Seat 1: siteman ($505.30)
Seat 2: KingKamal ($512.80)
Seat 3: Fuel55 ($1,083.60)
Seat 4: smizmiatch ($407.25)
Seat 5: RecessRampage ($469.45)
Seat 6: weak_player ($387)
Seat 7: tulegit21 ($200)
Seat 8: Victim ($402.20)
Seat 9: SirFWALGMan ($126.65)
siteman posts the small blind of $1
KingKamal posts the big blind of $2
5 seconds left to act
Victim posts a dead small blind of $1
Victim posts $2
The button is in seat #9
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to SirFWALGMan [7d 8h]
Fuel55 folds
smizmiatch folds
RecessRampage has 15 seconds left to act
RecessRampage folds
weak_player folds
tulegit21 has 15 seconds left to act
tulegit21 folds
Victim has 15 seconds left to act
Victim raises to $10 <--- Fucker has been raising a lot in position.
SirFWALGMan calls $10 <--- What the fuck I am bored
siteman folds
KingKamal folds
*** FLOP *** [8s Kh 9s]
Victim has 15 seconds left to act
Victim bets $20 <--- C-bet
SirFWALGMan calls $20 <--- Float
*** TURN *** [8s Kh 9s] [4s]
Victim checks <--- He thinks I hit the flush I think..
SirFWALGMan bets $40 <--- Pretend I want a call with a smallish bet
Victim has 15 seconds left to act
Victim has requested TIME <--- He knows I have a flush
Fuel55: OBFV?
Victim raises to $371.20, and is all in <--- Fuck it it's like not that much more
SirFWALGMan calls $56.65, and is all in <--- Fuck I have to call now
Victim shows [Qh Qd]
SirFWALGMan shows [7d 8h]
Uncalled bet of $274.55 returned to Victim
*** RIVER *** [8s Kh 9s 4s] [8d] <--- Booom!!!! Just have to understand the RNG.
Victim shows two pair, Queens and Eights <---- Suckah
SirFWALGMan shows three of a kind, Eights
SirFWALGMan wins the pot ($254.30) with three of a kind, Eights <--- I feel sorta bad
SirFWALGMan: yay me <--- but not so much
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $257.30 | Rake $3
Board: [8s Kh 9s 4s 8d]
Seat 1: siteman (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 2: KingKamal (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 3: Fuel55 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: smizmiatch didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: RecessRampage didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: weak_player didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: tulegit21 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 8: Victim showed [Qh Qd] and lost with two pair, Queens and Eights
Seat 9: SirFWALGMan (button) showed [7d 8h] and won ($254.30) with three of a kind, Eights

FU Riggs Al is the Man

Date: Wed, Jul 16, 2008

AlCantHang convinced me to try a little LO8 last night. Also some book writing pro wrote about how easy these games are. I spend about an hour and made three buyins. It could have been better as I was up FOUR buyins for a while but I gave one back. Some interesting hands were where I scooped the HI with 55. Yes. You heard me. I had a nut low and a nut flush redraw. I was calling bets but not raising or going crazy with only one side locked and three people in the hand. My pair of fives held up as the Hi. If that is not a good game I do not know what is. I also took second in a $22 SNG.

One thing I noticed to be true is that even being a little loose can have a big effect. Making those marginal calls is not where the money is in this game. Sure you will give up some winning hands but it is better to bail early if the board does not hit you perfectly.

The suckouts are pretty brutal too. Like the AAAK hand vs AAAT with the fucking ten hitting on the river. Ouchie. However when you end up scooping like 8-10 hands in a split pot game you have to love it. Sure your nut straight on the turn is going to get run down when the board pairs and flushes on the river but that is alright.

I also have something to say to Hoyazo: "Baby Talk Baby Talk It's a Wonder you can Walk". Stop your whining you retard. Your sounding more like me every day. Fucking man up and quit your crying or I will come over there and smack you.

I plan on playing the Mookie tonight and doing at least a short buyin to the 1/2 deep stack game that Poker Gnome is putting on tonight. Which probably means that instead of a nice 3 buyin profit night I will probably blow some cash but it is all in fun. Really the only two MTT games I want to play lately are the Mookie and Riverfuckers.

I am not sure how much I want to play HU. On the the one hand it would be fun proving just how dominant I am against bloggers. What better way than humiliating them heads up? I mean it is perfect. On the other hand I really do not like HU MTT style games. I like 1-shot HU SNG format but not the whole beat the crap out of your opponent and then wait three hours until the other slowpokes finish. Ah well.

That is all.

FU

Date: Tue, Jul 15, 2008

FU Riggstad.

Screw you too wifey. I know you think it is important to wake me up at 6AM to tell me that I printed off the wrong grocery list and did not get cat food but that makes me tired and cranky. Yes, more tired and cranky than usual.

Fun Weekend

Date: Mon, Jul 14, 2008

I had a pretty good weekend. I went out and played some BBall with the boy. I guess I was inspired by Alan's finger. He beat me in both games. I think I won one shooting game. It took me a while to get the feel back so I could actually hit shots. I guess when your muscles atrophy due to lack of use it gets hard to get the ball over the rim. He thought it was hysterical when I put my hand in his face to block his shots. I did not try and swat his shots back into his face because well he is only nine. I did call him on his thousand double dribbles but did not make him give the ball back. I taught him a sweet defense move too. He is dribbling in and getting ready to take the shot when I rock out the loudest fart you have ever heard. He starts laughing so hard I steal the ball away from him and score. Perfect basket ball.

Congratz To Blogfather

Date: Mon, Jul 14, 2008

Made it to Day Four and a 30k cash. I still feel like a big fat loser. - Iggy

The Blogfather in his own words and I could not have said it any better. Congratz on having such great self awareness because YOU ARE A BIG FAT LOOSER! Nice run anyways. Much better than I expected of you. I hope you got a lot of pictures because this is it.. as I said before.. the pinnacle of your short and uneventful poker career. I hope you got a lot of pictures because you will be sitting in your little My Little Pony rocking chair when your seventy (in a few years) and glancing at the mantle of your cardboard box in downtown Cincinnati and remembering the glory years. Congratz Napoleon this was your finest day.. here come the Russians.

P.S. This is what you get for having no comments.

Endorsement Deals

Date: Fri, Jul 11, 2008

It appears as if Iggy being the longest remaining height challenged person in the 2008 WSOP is already getting endorsement deals. You go little man! Good luck today! Good Waffles is cheering for you!!!

Riverfucker OWNED

Date: Thu, Jul 10, 2008

I won the RC tonight. Was kinda fun. I did not play well at all. My first great play was crippling Numbette with 72o. I was having a little fun with the hammer. I do believe calling a raise with AT and a flop jam on A2x flop is not going to be profitable in the long run for her.. but she was right this time. The TEN on the turn had me drawing to two outs.. and the TWO on the river.. well it was the Hammer.

My next brilliant move was against AlCantHang. He was short. I had a few chips. Some dude named N000bo who played TERRIBLE raises. I re-raise with TJ spades and Al jams for his last 2k. I had around 6k. So N0000b cold calls Al and so do I. The flop gives me two spades. The turn completes my flush and I jam the rest of my chips in and get called by N000b. That hand puts me up to like 15k and allows me to bully the table and have a good amount of chips on the final table.

The rest of the night was pretty good. Zeem got blinded out since he fell asleep. It was then down to Peacecorn, some Max guy who sucked, and I. The Max guy was nice but he criticized CK's all in jam when she had like 5-6BB and QJo. Pretty good jam just bad timing.

I took him out when he flat called my pre-flop raise of like half his stack with TJ spades, flopped the flush draw vs my TPTK and then stacked off to me on the draw.

Finally it was down to Peacecorn and I. I think she was tired. She finally jammed two big cards against my two which happened to dominated her. We were even stacked and somehow I held up. I am now the current Riverfuckers champion. I did it in true Riverfuckers style with some amazing suckouts and donkeriffic play. I enjoyed every minute of it.

Stupid Midget

Date: Thu, Jul 10, 2008

[Asinine] What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Unless you're naked and you steal some beer... and a bus full of old people.

I told Iggy not to drink too much. He never listens to me.

Philosophy vs Reality

Date: Thu, Jul 10, 2008

I often find myself caught up in the debates of the poker world that deep thinkers get into. For instance if you know for an absolute fact you are 51% ahead of the guy you are playing against and he jams all in for his entire stack do you call? Is there a better spot? Is this "Long Term" a real fucking thing? I mean if you have infinite bankroll and infinite time then yeah sure but in the real world is this enough of an edge for you to make back your loses? The most important question though: does any of this really fucking matter? I mean are these kinda of plays going to be what makes you a winner or loser long term? Should we dig into the bowels of poker and figure out what the right move is over time or just say "Fuck it" and just let the borderline plays slide off our backs. Who the fuck knows.

Iggy

Date: Thu, Jul 10, 2008

You stupid fuck how the hell did you get to day three? Enjoy it while it lasts you midget fuck. This is the pinnacle of your short little pathetic life. You can shoot yourself when you get home. Good luck anyways.