Trapped

Date: Sun, Oct 5, 2008 Live

My lady (remember say it with the inflection of the Pina Colada song) had to go to a Charity Ball at the Hilton. I would therefore drop her off and play at Harrahs until she was ready to go. Sounds like a plan. Right?

I hate playing under the spectre of a timetable. In the past I've either pressed when I shouldn't to turn a quick profit or left angry because I didn't have time to amass one.

Last night started with a guy running a mini-angle on me. I had a weak top pair, two to a flush on board. I bet he called. Turn was a brick, he checked, I bet, he called. River paired the board and gave the third to the flush. I was done. He got his hand as close to the table as a WWE referee to the mat on the third count when the hero is in trouble--but doesn't hit. I followed suit and checked. He pulled back, THE HULKSTER GOT OUT OF THE PIN (Jim Ross echoing through my mind) and then reached for his chips. He got me in his trap. He fired out more than a small bet.

I said nice move sir. And mucked. He was ready to show me his wining flush, and I said, yeah... nice flush. Stymied he turned over just one of the cards a flush card. Yeah. I know, nice flush. Obviously he was worried about the paired board so when he induced my check behind, he knew nobody checks a full house and that flush was good and value bet it.

So now I'm seething a bit.

Not a good start.

This guy is also playing with his wife right next to him and running good. People are just donating chips to him. She's doing well, with her one move of betting any ace and nobody is calling her. Maybe she was getting a lot of Aces. Who knows. Four or five handed pots, there's an Ace and she's betting. He's also looking at this cards pretty wide open away from himself, and a couple of times it was so agregious I almost said something, because they were clearly visible to his partner--his playing partner.

Later, I look at jacks in the big blind, this wild new player has sat down one away from me and next to the angle shooter. He fires out a $17 bet. The angle shooter smooth calls. It goes around the the table, with action to me with another caller or two. Okay. I put $50 on top. I'm trying to isolate the wild player. He calls, the angle shooter calls (hmmmm) and the rest fold. The wild player is talking about how he has the best hand. I immediately discount his holding way too much bluster. He's probably got AK. If it comes all babies I'm leading out hard.

Baby, baby, baby. Okay. I put $100 in the pot, I thought about letting him lead at it, but I didn't want him to get commited with cards that could hurt me. Wild guy after he huffs and puffs folds. Angle stews forever, then says he's all-in (which at this point isn't much more to my stack compared to the pot). I call, trapped, realizing I'm beat. He turns over KK saying I got Aces with some assurance (right, if you knew I had Aces why play back at me) and I think to myself, well played with the flat call preflop. He beat me pretty bad and I probably should have given more credence to his $50 call.

Just didn't because the wild guy in between probably represented free money to everybody. I'd expect a better hand to play back at me, and actually try and discourage the people to act after him to fold. Well done sir he disguised it well, and I didn't give his preflop call enough credit.

Later, I get my stack up a bit and decide I'm going to play it cute with an EP raise with some suited connectors. Get a few callers. Flop comes out queen high but I'm open-ended. I bet $25. Player in the 1 seat confidently min-raises me (DANGER, WILL ROBINSON). Oh well, I'm certainly getting the odds to call. Turn is sweetness. A beautiful 6. Hello straight.

He fires out $100. I shove. He calls.

We don't turn over. River is another 6. He shows his pocket queens for the new nuts and I pitch my straight disgustedly. Oh well. Another well played flat call preflop. I sucked and he resucked.

At this point, I'm ready to leave. Actually, I was ready to leave after the initial interaction with the angle shooter. It just felt like one of those nights. Course... what I am going to do for the next two hours I'm waiting for my lady.

Alright, back to basics let's just grind out a winner.

Man of mystery Joe Bush sits down at the table.

Later, two guys I've been targeting see a flop with me. Each with a ton of chips and one with a penchant for making huge flop bets only a better hand can call and the other a guy I've got a pretty good read on. He didn't bluff much but he overvalued his holdings a bit (which somehow I blanked on later). I got K10. Flop is K102 rainbow. Guy I got a read on checks. Next guy leads out. I flat call. Then the checker raises puting 5x on top. Sweet. Next guy calls. We have ourselves a pot. I call after some thought about raising and/or shoving. I don't because I don't want a QJ to make a bad call on the flop and suck out on me, that they might get away from on the turn. Yeah, my "brilliant" 1-2 strategy.

Turn is a brick. After some table banter first guy puts out $100. The other dude folds accepting we've got him crushed. I probably got $250 behind. Arghh! I know I need to just push.

Here's the problem, I was at my losing limit for the night if I didn't win that pot. I had another hour and a half to go. I'm trapped. All kinds of factors that have nothing to do with making the best poker decison entered my mind. The best poker decision was put the $250 in. If he has a set of deuces so be it. Who cares. Long run I'll profit shoving my $250 with top two its a no brainer.

I start putting him on the rack. He's passes the Negreanu smile test, he's got a pretty authentic smile a nonfaked smile. He thinks he's got the best hand. Damn it! Remember when I said he overvalued his hands... somehow, I blank on this as I stew.

Then after the banter, I decide to go with the poker factors and start to push in. As I put my hands behind my chips, he's excited about the call. Genuinely. I stop. Oh well. I'll have $250 to play with if I fold... and I muck.

He shows me AK. Table thinks I'm an idiot for folding K10 (they are right). I think the guy is an inexperienced for thinking AK was the best hand in that situation. I can tell Joe is surprised by my idiot hero lay-down. Nothing worse than making a grossly bad play in front of players you respect. No excuse for that one.

As I sit there, and think about it, I can't believe I talked myself out of the hand. I totally let factors non poker related dictate my play, when the best deciosn was shove. It was the only decision. Double ARGH!!!

When I play my inexperienced friends for fun, I have to adjust to two things. One when they think they are beat but they might not be. So, just because their physical tells indicated weakness they didn't really understand the texture of the board or the story of the hand. Figuring out what a player thinks about his holding is only half the battle. You have to determine if they understand what's a good hand. Add in that a couple of them are call stations so you can't bluff them even when they think they are losing and you have to tread carefully.

The other situation, like the guy with just AK, is when the think they are sitting on the nuts with a hand that's beat a few different ways. Course, that mentaility is the sweet spot when isolating bad players.

Any other night, any other time I call. However, on that night, the way I was running, and not wanting to stick my thumb up my ass for another couple of hours, because I had set my limit for the evening I folded. I regret it. That pivitol hand would made a world of difference to my bottom line.

Later, I look at KK in the BB. Limp fest. I push it to 12, almost everybody calls, though the good thing is all the decent players muck when I enter the pot with a raise so it's me and the guys I want. Course it's all the guys I want not just one. Problem with 1-2, I make it too much more and nobody would have called. You either play mulit-way pots or scoop white chips with your big hands. Flop comes out jack high. Guy in the small blind, my friend who I said makes bad, big flop bets only better hands can call--does just that. He ships it for the rest of his chips.

He's got at least a jack.

I decide to flat and hope to build a side pot with someone else.

I almost get a taker who points that out. Thanks for the commentary. Then folds.

Bad player shows QJ. Nice. I show my Kings.

Brick.... Queen. Fun.

So, now I'm nursing half a buy-in and killing time.

JB hasn't called. It's an hour and half past the pickup time. Great, if I knew I'd have more time to play I would have prepared to go deeper into the game cash wise. In fact, I would have been more willing to call that $250 and dig back into the wallet if I lost. I just wasn't going to get too stuck that I wouldn't have time to come back and force myself into bad decisions (that mindset ironically induced a terrible one). Apparently, I had more time.

She texts her and her friends might go out. She never goes out. I'm actually happy she's going out. She'll call me in 20 minutes. Sweet the chaffeur will just kill time getting killed on the table.

An hour passes and I run 10s into Aces. A guy new to the table and stealing small pots in position that are unopened, raises from the button. Well, he got his fish on the hook when I looked at the 10s in the BB and pushed back. He shoved and my short stack was already committed. Trapped.

I bricked out.

I wander Harrahs contemplating eating, looking at the absurdity that is the club on this random Saturday and trying to get in touch with J. I kill another 45 minutes or so, and it's hours after I was supposed to leave. I can't get in touch with her at all. Oh well. I decide f it, I'm going home. Bad day at the office.

When I'm back in Metairie, she says, "Oh, yeah, we'll get a cab. No problem." Later, I start getting texts asking me to pick her and her sister up from uptown. Mmm. That's not going to happen, I'm already in bed. Have to say, saying no is a trap too.





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Uh... oh... blogging landmine... politics...

Date: Fri, Oct 3, 2008 Live

My header on GCP.net mentions I'd blog about issues facing the Gulf Coast. In the wake of Katrina, I felt that I wanted to touch on some things like that. In fact it used to say "politics" rather than issues facing the gulf coast and today, I warily will broach that subject. Politics and poker are hardly strange bedfellows.

Most politicos, Obama included, are avid poker players. It is said Nixon ultimately jump started his life and later funded his campaign based off of money grown from poker winnings. Currently poker is a political issue, perhaps things are in such a sad state of affairs poker players may not have the latitude to vote on candidates supporting issues important to us such as legalizing online poker, bar-room poker, or home games, but it's important we be aware where our candidates from President to representative sit on these issues.

Therefore, I'm going to get political for a second, and not really feel bad about doing it. More than anything I'm stating my views, undecided views in fact, with the hope that people that feel strongly one way or the other will try and convince me to side with them. It's important that I give my quick background and incoming biases. As a kid to a young adult I've been a Republican. I've admired Reagan's approach to dealing with Terrorists and look at Libya as evidence of force working... when properly applied. Perhaps I'm a mere victim of conservative spin, but national security, having lived in DC during 9/11 and in Europe during a tumultuous time of terrorism in the 80s, has always been issue number one with me.

I was a mile away from the Pentagon when the low-flying plane coming directly overhead shook my apartment so badly things fell off the shelf, and I felt the concussive impact when it hit and heard the blast. I can recant with first-hand experience any conspiracy theorist who doubts a plane really hit. I also watched the aftermath with my own two eyes. I've been at German airports during bomb scares as a child.

I used to live within a short drive of the actual Iron Curtain at the height of the cold war, and could feel the reds leaning against it every day. Western Europe lived under a palpable fear they'd be trampled and though they hated to be in the middle of the nuclear stockpiles in Russia and Stateside, they welcomed, loved and relished our friendship. We were their protectors. Oh what a difference 20 years makes.

I watched television of Russian Army marches with an endless supply of giant missiles (missiles we'd later learn were duds) and think any moment the world would be dotted with mushroom clouds. Germans, who lived in an occupied country for 40 years, appreciated their occupiers us and the Brits being there, because at any moment the tanks might start rolling westward. To say we had some goodwill in the 80s is an understatement. And to say, you can't be an ally as an occupier is just as gross an overstatement.

So, to me national security and keeping terrorists and ill-meaning nationalities an ocean away has always been priority number 1. I lived in a place where the evening news reported terrorism it as a domestic issue and rather than it being a once every ten years event it was a weekly one. Not something I want the U.S. to endure. Then W got elected, moreso because his opponents couldn't handle a national campaign then him being the best candidate. Sorry Kerry fans even four more years of W to me was better than four years of the ultimate hemmer and hawer. Course, sprinkle in Katrina and the mess that Bush turned FEMA into, and maybe Kerry would have done a better job.

I always felt that 911, Bush in New York on the megaphone and the ensuing we are going to stick a boot up the Taliban's ass speech to Congress were the moments, he shined brightest. I couldn't imagine Gore at the helm for either moment. During Katrina, I also couldn't help but wonder if a new President would have tackled Katrina like it was his 9-11. Kerry, or anybody for that matter, probably would have been in the heart of the Gulf Coast or at the Superdome within 24 hours and wrapped his Presidency around saving the coast. Bush didn't need that. He had already had his moment. He wasn't coming with his megaphone, and only after he had been humbled into responding his speech was full of promises that for the most part were empty. It's absolutely shocking considering the mess still down here three years later, that he thinks he did all he could. He thinks he triumphed in the gulf and the sad truth is he was almost criminally negligent.

The ensuing federal debacle, the state debacle, the city debacle, left blood on every one's hands. Anybody who tries to excuse Bush, Blanco, or Nagin is blinded by partisanship or worse. They were all culpable. Michael Chertoff used Brownie as a scapegoat. Though Brownie was terrible, Chertoff was worse and like Bush somehow has eluded the blame he deserves. Every level and layer of the executive has been inept. Every response has been insufficient and inadequate.

So, I became a right-leaning Conservative with a distaste for the W and his cronyism in the executive branch. He also acted like a democrat and grew the government to the benefit of him and his friends at unheard of levels. He mired us in bureaucracy at a moment we needed anything but. Of course Blanco is responsible for not seeking federal aid quicker, of course Nagin and his talk about "putting Benjamins in your pockets" was exposed as inept and a blight on the city rather than a leader, but Bush also bares blame--a lot of it.

Therefore, even before this economic crisis I came into the national presidential election with an even more open mind then I did four years ago. I now label myself an undecided. I'm leaning toward McCain, with Obama's inexperience being my hold-up on giving the other side a shot, and of course McCain to me feels stronger on National Security. That is still, my primary concern shaped by my childhood, even with all the homeland mess Bush has made while pushing Homeland issues.

I've debated though emails and discussions with hard line Democrats and Republicans alike challenging them on what I perceive as weakness of their candidates. In response, I've learned how charged a society we now live in. Neither side can withstand the slightest criticism, or can concede even an inch. It was like pulling teeth to get my good friend, a democrat to admit, Pelosi's partisan speech preceding the bailout was ill-timed at best. I can't get Republicans to admit that while Palin has executive experience it's for a town and state that population wise measure up to Smallville and Luxembourg.

Recently, after a series of emails and Palin's blunders with Katie Couric, I'd been swayed that with one year of her at the helm of our country she could do such terrible things to us due to her inexperience and community college level education I might have to factor her into my decision. Should McCain press down on his "I've fallen and I can't get up" life alert lapel button what the hell were we going to do with a sportscaster as President. She wasn't even a good sportscaster. At least Al Michaels has seen Russians close up, and not from binoculars across the Bering Straits, maybe he should be second in command. He believes in miracles too.

Palin to me is a bad Disney movie playing out on our national stage. I immediately questioned McCain and his judgment when he selected her. To me he was guilty of catering to the Hillary voters who felt abandoned by Obama. It was arguably a shrewd political move, but for somebody who is un-taintably a patriot, there was a taint to him now. Palin, no matter how she moves people or connects with people, is not the best person for the job. She ironically embodies all the flaws of Obama with half the education. McCain's decision was not made with the countries interest in mind it was for his electability and nothing more.

So, it was with great surprise that I watched her at the Republican National Convention knock it out of the park. Not only did she share Obama's flaws she shared his attributes. They both are soaring speakers, they both reach through the camera and pat you on the back as they plow through talking points. Their charms are manifested differently his with inspiration her with a neighbourly I'm watching out for you but they resonate.

At that point, I gave McCain a little more credit for his pick. He had found this unpolished jewel from the great north and shared it with the country. This wasn't a bad Disney movie this was the political story of the new century. We didn't have one leader from humble beginnings, we had two. It was like Lincoln coming out of his log cabin in Illinois at the same time as an upstart (and at the time marginalized minority) Irish Catholic from Massachusetts named Kennedy. We had two near political stars.

Then Couric happened. Oh, Sweet Alaskan Crude Oil!

I now watched Republicans blindly hug talking points force fed them via Fox news, to defend the indefensible. The tape was obvious. You can't defend her. Karl Rove surely came up with the sublime "Gotcha" media refrain that has been oft-repeated and it's brilliant strategy. She was "edited" to look like an idiot. It was the liberal media's fault. Now, the media is liberal, but Palin looked unprepared... because she was unprepared. Gotcha was right. The sportscaster was back. No longer was the Disney movie a happy story, we'd reached the point where the lawyer turns back into the shaggy dog, where the heroic underdog is exposed as being over her head.

Bam! I was now having to consider Erin Andrews at the controls should McCain bite it. Something to look at sure, but something to follow--not so sure. I compared the two worst case scenarios and Obama could be bad for four years but at least he's smart enough to not destroy the country. Could Putin bury Palin in a matter of hours? If the equally woefully under qualified Katie Couric could cast such a bad light on the Veep to be, what could a ruthless former KGBer do.

I watched last night's debate with the dread I felt as a school-boy of the millions of Russians ready to invade Europe. Palin was going to get thrashed. Biden would dance circles around her and they'd have to shovel the Alaskan Caribou roadkill off the stage along with McCain's hopes. You ask die hard democrats and that's what happened. You ask die hard Republicans and she blithely killed Biden time and time again. She was Rocky after a standing eight count suddenly, tirelessly bashing a superior opponent when her face had been beaten to a comic pulp one round earlier with Couric.

You ask me, a now undecided, and neither side is right. She might have done enough. The debate was either a Palin victory or a tie. However, expectations were so low for her, she'd win even if she lost but competed and she did better than that.

That being said, I'm still undecided and in a paragraph or two I'll wrap up and welcome the opinions of my decided friends. However, I do ask that you not take me to task on my opinions up to now. They are not going to change. Even if you disagree with what's written, I don't write them as fact, I write them as decided opinion. Here's another opinion. Palin did two things. One she showed me as deflected questions and marched through her talking points she'd be one of the greatest White House... spokesmen ever. Ari Fleischer, Tony Snow, etc. etc. wouldn't hold a candle to her.

She was charming even Joe Biden when she barreled through his criticisms with a wink and a smile and tiptoed around or bludgeoned over Gwen Ifill's direction. She owned the debate, she connected with the people, and shined. That being said, the second thing she did was not look look Presidential or Vice-Presidential. She looked like a polished TV personality yet I have to ask where is the substance. How many times have I heard an articulate media type give their own opinion outside of scripted lines or prepared talking points and be disappointed? Every time. Sure she looks less inept, but still inept?

However, the marked difference in one short week, has given me the confidence that she can hold her own for a year or two if McCain doesn't make it. But I'm still undecided overall. She failed in one critical question for me. She was asked what would be her duties as a vice-president be, and her response was odd to say it lightly... I can almost imagine McCain "Lumberg-esquely" (Office Space reference) saying, "Ummmm, yeah... You are going to play more of a legislative role than an executive role..." "Doesn't the VP just break ties in the senate?" "Ummm, yeah, wait... how did YOU know that...ummm, yeah... well, you see there is more power for the VP or at least some flexibility of the VP's power in the Senate than traditonally... ummm, recognized... so umm yeah... we are going to move you to the office in the basement..." "Basement?" "ummm yeah, so ummm, yeah they are near the tunnels to the Senate and ummm, yeah we are going to need you to come in on Saturday."

So now, I ask of my friends to take my vote for your candidate. I'm hardheaded, so you won't convince me Palin did poorly in the debate and sway me as a voter that way. You also won't win me by disproving then things I think above. Took me a while to come to this point of indecision, and you can argue til you are blue in the face I'm wrong about Obama's inexperience, but it'll be an ineffectual tactic in getting me to align with your side. What I will want is valid reasons Obama will be a better President than McCain or vice versa. I will want issues that either embodies that I should take as seriously as I do national defense. I will need coaxing that Obama despite his safe and near nonexistent policy making leadership in the senate will MOVE the country as well as he moves his listeners and followers.

I've felt this election is between motivational speaker Tony Robbins and crotchety Mr. Wilson. One who says things we want to hear but really has no concrete formula how to get there, the Robbins of the two says, personal empowerment, bettering oneself will make you successful, procrastinate only procrastination and other platitudes that soar as rhetoric but fail in application. Obama's message is pure of course we want that but what's at the heart of his plan? The other is a Washington insider who is a maverick only on selected issues. He's cranky and he'll fight his neighbors even if they are friends if their sprinklers are interrupting his hammock nap and will beat the snap out of the whippersnappers digging in his flower beds but is he too, now entrenched?

Please, please, convince me I'm not picking between the lesser of two evils once again. I feel one guy hasn't hit his stride and the other is past his prime. Neither is in the sweet spot. Democrats convince me Obama is good for national security and the economy, Republicans convince me it's not business as usual or a man past his prime, and we won't see a replay of Katrina ineptitude.

Or not.

I'm open to the possibility I'm grossly wrong or I've mistated thing badly and I'm uniformed, however, if you want to woo a vote, take my experiences and mold your candidate to my worldview. And don't take yourself too seriously, negative points for absolutists, facists, and rabid polarizers.

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Losing chips in my stack, and a tipping point

Date: Wed, Oct 1, 2008 Live

Not playing the Harrahs weekly today.

Couple of interesting moments from Monday night.

I was playing next to the Tiltin' Texan with two great football pool numbers 4 and 7. Course not so great with a field goal fest waiting to happen with the Steelers/Ravens. Pretty early on needing to factor a safety into the football math to win, I was focused only on the table.

Still, I had a brain fart. I usually keep a stack of 6 to 8 chips in my hand to occupy myself when out of the action. I play with it away from my larger chip stacks and sometimes leave it out there on its own. Suddenly, I was down to just a couple of chips in my hand and the little stack had disappeared. I was dumbfounded. It was like it just disappeared from the table.

I asked the Texan if when he had scooped a pot, maybe I had left it out there and he pulled it in. Yet, in my mind I felt he hadn't scooped a pot since it "disappeared." In fact, he had gotten resucked out on just before that in a big pot and given up chips. Probably the wrong time to ask about me misplacing a paltry few chips. I certainly didn't think the Texan would have done it on purpose--4 to 6 reds--no, way. And to be clear, I certainly don't think the Texan would have taken 4 to 6 blacks or bigger chips for that matter. Maybe in scooping a big messy pot, of which he had a couple, he might think the little stack is a part of what's steered his way and dragged it unintentonally.

Still, I asked only because I was at a loss... even him scooping it by accident didn't seem likely. I hope he didn't think I was accusing him of anything. So, at the next dealer shift I'm racking up my chips. And lo and behold, each stack is one chip higher. Another habit of mine when fiddling in boredom, is to overstack my 100 stacks (though something I'm trying to get away because of using the stacks in big pots). I must have done it without thinking and then a couple of seconds later wondered where my little stack was. A good lesson to me, to stay on top of recounting my chips. Sorry Texan.

The tidbit, was one of our dealers, who shall remain nameless dealt at a glacial pace, getting slower and slower and slower. Tex asked me if he was making a point. Finally it was beyond obvious. It was taking a lot of energy for him to move that slow and the table asked him about it. "That's the first dollar I've gotten from ya'll in 25 minutes," he said. The guys at the other end of the table had been taking down the pots and I hadn't watched them not tip.

I told him, "The faster you deal them out, the more likely I'll win a pot and tip you. I'm not going to short you." Others agreed and it was back to normal. Which is and was true. I never understood why dealers would penalize the whole table and themselves by pitching less hands. Seems like the quicker they go the more likely they'll get tipped. Now, if a table of 10 was winning pots pretty evenly and nobody was tipping, yeah, I can see making a point of it. They got to earn a living. However, when only 3 or 4 guys were screwing him seems like he's hurting himself as much as he is the players by dealing slowly. In general, the faster a dealer pitches the more tips they'll get.

I think I'm a good tipper. Before poker impacted my bottom line as much, I used to toss redbirds after biggish pots and throw around two to three ones for smaller pots. Once I realized what that was doing to my bottom line, and watching other generous players take that money out of play, I'm back to about a dollar a pot. But that includes some small ones. Nothing endears a dealer to me more than a guy who tosses it back saying the pot was too small for a tip. Yeah, he gets that dollar back and then more.

Of course huge pots, and quick dealers that have a happy disposition still get bigger chips and string tips. Now, considering I feel I'm a pretty good tipper by watching the other players as comparison, I'm surprised when dealers use sour tactics on me to get more tips. Moving glacially slow, is a bit of one, but it's directed at everybody. And you can't argue it was effective. Though, I wonder if saying something first (which I believe is discouraged--but he still said something after the fact, so it's not like he was opposed to violating this rule) and then moving slow would be a better course of action.

I once asked the same dealer in the past to extend a courtesy most regulars get, and he haggled for the tip beforehand. He wouldn't do it without a tip. That was tilting. One he either assumed I'd stiff him, even though I've been generous to him every other time, or two he was making a statement to the table that the courtesy had to be bought not asked for. Either way poor form.

The dealers that get the biggest tips are almost always the quickest and most capable. The dealers that are quick and capable who get shorted are the ones that use angles to manipulate the players. I've never seen Da Rock or some of the other good dealers without a smile or a ready chuckle and an eagerness to keep the action going. The players show their appreciation with their chips. I'm sure they have their bad sessions too, when the bad tippers win every pot and the good tippers can't win, but I have a feeling those sessions are far fewer for them than the other guys.

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The Buck Stops Here... or here... or here?

Date: Tue, Sep 30, 2008 Live

It was Russ. Russ Hamilton. He bares all responsibility.

He acted independently and defrauded the company he was merely an advisor too. He cheated your friends out of millions of dollars. He was a rogue employee.

Yes. Just like Absolute Poker could not possibly have a cheating scandal. Nor could Ultimate Bet, remember, their security was airtight.

The Absolute guy, he too, was working by himself.

This smells like rotten fish.

Surely, a ton of evidence was presented to the investigators showing all things leading to Hamilton. Surely, everyone interviewed pointed fingers Hamilton's way. And in all likelihood the guy was complicit, but acting alone?

Come on. He's the latest sheep thrown to the wolves. He's the latest fall guy, and just maybe, him being a Main Event champion makes him a big enough name and a compelling enough figure to appease the masses.

Right now, you'd think the best thing to happen would be Russ Hamilton coming out and naming names and all those other criminals being exposed, but what if he is his own fall guy. I hope he talks and rats out everybody else. . . because if he doesn't the real story here, might be him offering himself on a silver platter to protect his own site (to which he is merely a "consultant").

It was Russ's fault. Okay, eveything back to normal. Please come back to our site and gamble. We are honest... now. Wonder if he'll keep drawing a check. Is he even looking at jail time? What jurisdiction? Without regulation or oversight is the company and Indian tribe outside the law? They pay a fine to who? The reservation? Doesn't half the reservation own the company anyway? Does anybody know who owns what?

This stinks like fetid feet.

Everything Absolute Poker or Ultimate Bet has done has smacked of obfuscation and hidden agendas. There is a shady and there is darkness. These guys have done the minimum until urged on to do more. Then it's a breadcrumb or two.

The guy in the AP scandal, isn't he sitting on a beach right now drinking daquiris? Is Russ Hamilton merely going to be forced into "early retirement" and joining him?

This stinks like roadkill.

Gamble on Absolute Poker or Hamilton Bet at your own risk. Sorry, Ultimate Bet, odd how many letters "Ultimate" and Russ Hamilton share huh? Remember these guys were printing money by owning an online casino and it wasn't enough for them. They had to go and screw it up by stealing from their "customers" or their marks. You think they won't get greedy enough to do it again? Once a thief always a thief.

This stinks like a heated Russ Hamilton.


Check out our front page for an update.

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Cowboys Decide my fate...

Date: Mon, Sep 29, 2008 Live

In the Harrahs weekly, MP bets. Guy two seats later raises significantly. I look down at KK.

The blinds and antes were, I believe, 50-200-400. First guy made it 1000. Next guy made it 2300. I had about 7k in front of me. I shove. First guy calls. Second guy calls (both have me outchipped. First guy substantially and the second guy moderately). Flop bricks out. First guy reaches for his chips. Second guy says, I call if you push. He induces the check, and then shoves, and first guy feels obligated and looks almost ashamed to call probably because of the goading. First guy AK. Second guy JJ. Turn blank. River A.

JJ is incensed. "He should have known we had monsters."

Maybe preflop he can get away from that when I'm indicating Kings or Aces, but probably 3 or 4 people in that tournament can fold AK preflop. Also, with AK in your hand less likely you are against bullets or cowboys... but with this type of action almost always. However, I had just shoved two out of three previous hands and in short order like that it's around hand three were people start questioning if you got it... again. I only had to sweat 5 outs so I don't mind losing, won't be the first or the last time an Ace peals off, but the guy with Jacks was pissed.

Arguably you could say he had less business being in there than the first guy. Now he's facing a raise, a re-re-raise, and a call. AK has three (obvious) outs to beat Kings (and one of my re-outs if the ace hits) vs. the two outs for Jacks. AK vs. Aces is all but dead, where Jacks have two outs. However, AK is 50.50 almost vs. queens and Jacks still have just their two outs.

So, jacks are basically looking for a set and he's not getting the right price for that. Whereas AK is almost even with one of my holdings (though my least likely holding). I guess, people make my move with AK too and AK is tied, but both dogs to any pair because we share outs.

So, reviewing the action, did JJ wanted AK out of the hand after the flop? Unfortunately for him, he didn't really have enough chips to prevent the guy getting to the river. Another play, though riskier, is to check and then shove on the turn. Everybody should call that bet anyway, but some people will call an all-in to see two cards but not one. Instead of the stop and go, it's a stop, stop, and go. However, the initial check was evidence the guy hadn't yet hit, the board indicated as much anyway. He wanted a free card. Never give a free card they say, BUT it would have been creative for the JJ to protect on the turn. Might have been the only way to win the hand if he knew the A was coming on the river.

Problem is he didn't know the A was coming on the river. Far better reasoning against that play (a stop, stop and go) is to build a sidepot vs. AK. In that regard he wants the dude in the hand and shoving after the flop is to win money not to protect a hand. He probably realized that as he was playing, but did the classic, I did not want what I wished for. That idiot should have realized we "had monsters" how can he have called--even though at the time I wanted him to call.

In the Boomtown tournament, in the first round of 25-25, I played a hand poorly. It's like a turbo with the short starting stacks (1k). The standard raise is an absurd 125, so I decide I'll make it 75 with 9-9 and see I can get these guys to slow down a bit. With the first smaller raise, generally the respect it is accorded is decided by the next guy to act. This guy looked like he was trying to find the bathroom and landed in a poker tournament. He called quickly. Sweet. A regular, a capable lady, calls and I roll my eyes, the waterfall effect is on. Next dude calls, and I'm expecting to be 10 handed (better hit my set I think). Then people fold to the button. Okay.

The button is a player who is a regular in the 1-2 games at Harrahs and a pretty steady winner. I think I haven't given him enough credit in the past. His aggression leaves him bareassed sometimes but it also earns him money. So he fires in 500. Is he overplaying a hand again? He's also just pushed a few hands in a row.

Argh. I should fold here. The tournament has too many weak spots to capitalize on that I don't need to get involve in the donkfest behind me with a holding like 99. Can't call, because they will all call. I make the decision where I hope they have common cards and I might be a favorite. Course I know better and I'm just wishing.

So, I shove hoping to isolate the button. Surprise, surprise, the first guy calls. The woman, the only one of us with any sense folds. The next guy calls and the button calls saying he's only worried about my hand. Smells like Jacks or 10s, pretty good but vulnerable. The guy to my left, who fell into the game, had Arag. The button had JJ. The other guy, the dude who just called the initial 75, yeah he had... KK. Go back and wrap your brain around that one.

So, I've got the third best hand and not only do these dudes not share cards, I'm dominated. Didn't hit my set. Goodnight.

It's funny, that in my mind I was critical of the JJ play earlier in the day by my opponent, yet I get myself into a ton of trouble with 99, a weaker holding, and arguably a weaker situation. I'm the donkey.

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Monkey Business

Date: Wed, Sep 24, 2008 Live

Wow.

The 2+2 pages are alight with accusations about Monkey. My gut tells me he's in a pretty bad spot. He could be the ultimate con man and I'm his next victim or dupe, but I think he's the one that got scammed. Right now, I'm near a 100% he's not involved. While I won't be wiring anybody any money any time soon, I believe the guy.

He's told me he's willing to work with Jonathan Little about this and go to the authorities. Or work separately with the police to get this righted. I've advised him not to play this out in the forums at 2+2. The people that are involved in this doubt him, and he needs to regain their trust and show due diligence in getting the guys. If he's forthcoming in doing this, he should clear his name.

And if Jonathan Little is swayed, the rest of 2+2 will follow. Really, they are the only folks that should be involved. 2+2 needs to be aware of what's going on, so nobody else gets duped but Monkey doesn't need to get baited into spurious arguments that hurt his credibility. From this point on, he and Jonathan Little should be working with the police to solve this.

From a logic viewpoint, I don't see how anybody can think it's Monkey (maybe that's the genuis of it--if it is him, although looks like he wouldn't have made any money). This would be the dumbest possible scam, yet it's rgured he had the foresight to write that fake aim conversation and wire himself money in Peru (pending sight of the Western Union slip). They also suggest he and his girlfriend are one and the same. One rationale was because she referred to him as her fiancee people thought she was refering to herself. There's too much preparation for such a dumb plan. If you were going to cover your ass that much wouldn't you be smart enough to not put yourself at risk in the first place? Think this out people.

He's the fall guy. Anybody that's read his writing will notice the guy soliciting the money on AIM talks and writes nothing like him. Where are the "..." and the ALL CAP WORDS. Just rings fradualent.

I still don't see motive on his behalf. How hard would it be for somebody to track down the
money that's been transferred to him. No the smart thing is to put a guy that's willing to wire money offline in connection with a lot of money to wire. That's clearly the plan here. They get money to Monkey at a substantial profit, he thinks he's helping out a pro he admires and profiting from it, so he'll keep going as long as they can fool people into giving him money. At the end of this little plan, the fake Little takes him for everything and the only name connected to this scam, besides the pick-up in Peru, is Monkey's. Actually pretty clever had they been able to pull it off.

Monkey is a polarizing figure and has probably pissed off a number of people. He's also a guy that I think leads his life via his emotions, making him an easy mark, so there are two reasons for people to target him. For the record, I put his posts on blogger. I'm sure he could do it if he wanted to, it's just as easy as writing the emails he sends me, but his reticence to do so indicates a relunctance to use technology in a manner that would make him smart enough to hack into AIM or anywhere else. This isn't the guy. I've sent a couple of emails to Shannon Shorr saying the same thing.

Unless the dude is friggin' Keyser Soze none of this makes sense.


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I run gud

Date: Tue, Sep 23, 2008 Live

Gearing up for the weekly again. Had an alright night Monday night but once again didn't even come close to a sweat for the football squares. Though at least this time I had football mathmatical chances to win (TD and FG vs. FG, FG). Normally I need some sort of saftey and missed extra point madness to get to my number.

Will cover, a couple of quick hands. Trying to overload on my suckouts as I've hit a few recently. Not to mention this past weekend I ran like Jesse Owens at my friends wedding for tiny stakes (cab fare money). Three handed flopping straights and nutting full houses on the river. Why can't I get that in a real tournament? Yes, I'm bitching because I'm running good. I'm a bitcher.

On Monday night, I flop two pair, A9, bet and the tourist calls it. He's chasing and the magic flush card turns and he does the microtell stare at his chips. Suh-weet. He checks his temporary nuts, I'm certainly not going to bet his hand for him-check. River 9 ball. He bets, I raise and he does the all in shrug and he's dumbfounded the nut flush is not the nuts. (BTW, can you call a nut flush a nut flush if it doesn't win the hand? And do you call a straight flush, the nut flush... not if there is royal flush out there? I've had arguments with various people about this).

Let's see... finally got one of those disguised bets to win when I bet 43. Flop two fours. King turned and killed some of my action as one of my opponents figured my tight nit ass was on AK or something. Other dude paid me off pretty good though.

Let's keep it going and make my third final table in a row and go up again in the money. No, bad greed this time, either, only good greed right.

Alright, enuff for tonight.

www.gulfcoastpoker.net

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Who do they pray to when they need a one outer?

Date: Fri, Sep 19, 2008 Live

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Take the money and run.

Date: Thu, Sep 18, 2008 Live

Yesterday, I finished in 7th at the Harrahs weekly. Another cash which is good. I cost myself money which is bad. My blog post two days ago was prophetic as I needed to hit a miracle set on somebody in a pair vs. overpair matchup and it hit.

At that point, I felt confident the final table was in my future.

I said I wouldn't be greedy this time. Shockingly, greed won that internal battle and I cost myself money.

A chop was offered by the overwhelming chip leader. I saw three short stacks and demurred. I was the only one to pass. The money started moving about the table like it was water and I went absolutely card dead. Anytime I thought about just trying to steal with nothing, and didn't, somebody showed down a monster. Sweet.

The chipleader at one point had to make a 6k call from the BB against a woman who was pretty nitty to knock her out and didn't. The BB had him invested 4k. Yeah, 6k to win 21k. 3 to 1+. At that point, I thought Uh-oh this isn't going well. So, I decided if he wasn't going to play I'd steal his BB. Guy on the button, an old rock wasn't haven't any of it and called my bet. Flop came out ace high and brick city for me. I check, he bets, I fold. Position is underrated.

I thought back to writing I wasn't going to be greedy and thinking this was going to bite me in the ass. Finally, we lost a couple of people, and though I liked my chances vs. most of the table, I was ready to chop. Unfortunately, I was now basically a short stack.

Later I ran into aces preflop and they held. Oh well.

Here's the capper. After turning down the chop, I get a call from my fiancee saying she took her car into the shop and owes a ton of money. Sweet. Left $400+ on the table because I was greedy. Had I known that, I might have taken the guarantee and had less to win this week.

So, I sit down in the cash game with a figure it mind, determined to nit it out. I catch kings on my first hand and double up.

Fast forward 7 hours... and that's the profit I left with. Took some sick beats and made a ton of tough lay-downs that were all right. You add them up and I should have been down multiple, multiple buy-ins. Once again, all the critical swing hands went the other way.

Big hands on the day.

Tournament: I folded two overs and a flush draw when a guy made a move on me thinking I was c-betting with air. He had top pair. Didn't want to flip a coin early in the tournament. Laid down AK suited fairly late in the tournament for half my stack, because I decided to nit my way to final table land. Darrell was my dealer and he knew what I laid down. DaRock gave me Aces once and I checked to an agressive player on the flop, he shipped it and I insta-called. Poker is fun.

Cash game: For a one hour stretch we had a "maniac" turn the table upside down. The action was fast and furious. Course I couldn't catch. Any limped pot was bumped to 20. The table limped around to me on the button I look at AQ suited. I know I have the best hand. Limp. BB (maniac) makes it 20 (shocker) and gets 1 call. I ship it having the BB more than covered but the caller has almost as much as me. BB calls (just as I planned). Caller folds (just as I hoped).

He turns over QJ. Domination. Flop gives him flush and straight draws. Turns the straight. I didn't even see it at first as I was wishing for a spade not to hit.

Later I'm getting a little short and a guy calls me down to the river, with me betting hard every step, I got trip 9s, and when I shove there he calls. I table my 9 crappy kicker with a little bit of fear. He shows Jack high. Wow. No draw, nothing, jack frickin' high. I was the guy that got the Christmas gift for once.

I laid down AK preflop when A10 and KK battled it out. KK held. I lost nothing on that hand.

Later I got a hand. I make it 10. Same guy with the KK fires out to 60. I haven't seen him bluff all day. Guy to my right folds. I stew, the $60 bettor is staring at the table. My alarm bells are going off. Just to be sure I should lay it down I ask, "How much you got behind?" (***This dude courtesy of a hot streak with the maniac was the chip leader by about 2k). For a split second he looked up thrilled, micro expression tell, and then saw that I was joking. I say I'm laying down to 10s. He shows aces. The guy to my right folded 99s. Dealer throws out a flop just to see what happens. It came out 9... 10... A. Set, set, set. Of course, that would be set, set, set, if I actually had 10s, which I didn't, that was my lie of the day but I thought I might be able to get him to show his monster.

Oh yeah, one more weird tourney note. My first table which ended up being the actual final table in the tournament, had 5 players progress to final table. And the guy that went out on the bubble was from my starting table too. 6 out of 11 of us started together. That's hard to do. Real hard. I never seen that in a tournament that big.

Course a couple of guys got moved off it during the day but we played for a while and battled it out all morning with the same faces.

Oh yeah, here's a bonehead play I made. I bet out from midposition with QJ suited. SB min raises (hello, big pair) and he gets a caller from an EP limper (call station). I like my price and that dude is sitting deep. I call the minraise, hoping to nail the flop or pitch if dry. Comes out Ace high. Dude looks like he got nailed by a baseball bat straight to the jaw. Oh, you got kings do you. He puts out a bet that screams feeler bet. The EP stews and folds.

How would I play this if I had AK. Well, I might just minraise here. I minraise. He makes one of those saving face calls. I used to do it. Don't want to make it look like your bet was zilch and call. Turn is brick, he checks. At this point I should shove. I don't. I check because I want him to think I got him on the line. He checks the river to me and I put him all in. After forever he calls. Tables kings.

Here's what I got wrong in that hand. Let's start from the back end. One of the things that SuperBill does well at the table is after getting a read on his opponent he puts the guy in a corner of pride. He boxes the dude in. In this situation SuperBill would have said, "You are thinking about calling with pocket kings. You can't get away from them?" And two things would have happened. 1. He folds and shows, besting me because he saved himself some money. or 2. He folds without showing pissed I read his hand and doesn't want to call with kings and be a loser and have to show the table he called after I told him his hand. You'd think the third action would happen a lot more than it does and that is he calls makes me show and is ready to fire into the muck if in fact he is a loser. Which is what I do.

My next mistake, going backward through the hand was not shoving on the turn. Giving the guy a chance to check twice to me, in my experience increases the liklihood he'll call on the river. All I've done is increase the possibility in his mind I'm just feeding on his shown weakness or tentativeness. I also didn't put him on the defensive any where in the hand by asking him how many chips he has. As Ray pointed out to me, I could have gleaned how married he'd be to those kings by that simple question.

Now go back even further. I should have shoved on the flop. None of this, how would I play with AK bullshit. I wasn't at the final table at a tournament. I was in a Harrahs cash game. Just apply brute pressure. No min raise. Just open shove the guy when he was feeling his weakness.

What's the first mistake? DON'T TRY AND PUSH PEOPLE OFF OF KK AT HARRAHS! Big deal I knew where he was 80% of the players can't lay that down with a ace on the board, 4 to a straight on the board and 4 to a flush on there too.

Afterward, I say, you couldn't lay those kings down huh? He replies, "I knew when you just called my preflop raise (the min raise I might call with anything in that situation) you had a pair in the hole." Oh, really.

Alright, back to the grind today.

www.gulfcoastpoker.net

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A man and his lion

Date: Wed, Sep 17, 2008 Live

Good thing help got there. Pretty soon a lion's got to eat. Ticking timelion.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080916/ap_on_re_us/ike_tales_of_survival

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Short one...

Date: Tue, Sep 16, 2008 Live

I've gotten some sick, sick updates from Monkey in Tunica. His next blog will be interesting.

Some cliffnotes: he sat down in a room with a 96k jackpot, then was told to get up because the guy decided he didn't want to leave. Before he can gets re-seated somebody hits the jackpot.

Next he had kings flop came out 999. Turn was a king. His opponent held A9. Ow.

I'm headed to Austin on Thursday for a friend's wedding. It's an interesting affair to say the least. I'm not sure he's formally asked his wife yet for her hand in marriage. That's the way he... rolls.

I decided today to get the Absolute account off my computer and trash the software. Had some money left on it. What should I do? Play on a crooked site? Cash out? What would you do?

I'll be playing the Harrahs mid-week tomorrow morning. I won't be greedy this week. We'll see if I hit a set when I have to.

Alright, more to come tomorrow.

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Sleep With the Fishes, Dine on the Whales - 2008-09-12

Date: Fri, Sep 12, 2008 Live

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Gustave

Date: Fri, Sep 12, 2008 Live

Alright the latest edition of the timelion is coming soon. I promise.

In the meantime, my tagline on gulfcoastpoker.net says I'll talk about issues facing the coast, so here's one of those.

1. Next time you are evacuated and some asshat tells you they have no sympathy for you because you are too stupid to move out of a city that is below sea level explain to the ignoramus some simple facts. The port of New Orleans and the oil from the gulf that comes through here are too vital to the NATION's economy to simple desert the city. In fact, though the sane thing to do might be to build a new New Orleans round about Baton Rouge or a little further North up the river the costs for that are so exorbitant and prohibitive it's actually better/cheaper to slowly build up the levees here and hope the huge storm doesn't come before the city is secure. Course should New Orleans ever get eviscerated then yes, a move upriver is the smart thing to do.

So in effect, all us "idiots" are doing the rest of the country a great favor in living here, and risking life, livilihood, and family. "Well," they'll retort, "you don't need everybody there to do that." Point of fact, we still need most of the people to support this city which though incredibly poor is a hub for almost 1/3rd of this country's business. So, those asshats should be grateful we let all those dollars go up north and line their pockets.

2. Those people are just ignorant, and if after you educate them they still chose to be, stop wasting your breath. No need to compare New Orleans to cities near forest fires areas out west, earthquake zones, states comprised of volcanoes, mud-slides, blizzards, ice storms, cities in flood zones, avalanches, drought areas etc, etc. Most of those urban areas contribute far less to the economy than New Orleans does and point of fact living there is a much more a lifestyle choice and burden to the taxpayer then living here is.

They also won't get that Katrina didn't wreck the city but government failure (city, state and federal) did. They also won't get that as the people in New York state found out during the falilure of their levees during flooding or the folks in Michigan found out when their bridge broke that government isn't looking out for anyone. No they'll buy in to the fact we live in a tolietbowl and the water's coming over the edge but we are'n't going anywhere. It's our fault. They'll be singing a different tune when it's in their back yard.

3. You can also thank your fellow Louisianas for some of the hate steered our way. I heard about a shelter in Louisville Kentucky where the following things happened. A beautiful gym lined with cots and supplies was set up for the evacuees. A play area for kids was set up, so that the evacuees could drop their kids off so they could do grown up things like track the storm or track down relatives. They organized trips like to the Louisville slugger company to keep these people occupied. Here's what happened. Every toy was broken when kids acted up. When the VOLUNTEERS asked where their parents were to discipline them they parents came after them. When a FEMA representative showed up the entire crowd started chanting "Where's our $2,000 dollars."

Most turned down the free field trips. Kentucky Fried Chicken donated food (it was in Kentucky) the crowd started angrily chanting, "Where's Our Corn on the Cob." Oh yeah, the few people that went to the bat factory and were given free bats proceeded to come back and fight each other with the sluggers. A liquor store in walking distance had to shut down and put an armed guard out front because so many people had shoplifted. The bathrooms were destroyed Superdome style with nobody using the trash cans, and on the floor were spent condoms and other trash. The grown up activities the daycare was there to supplement weren't exactly those kinds of activities. Needless to say, those volunteers in Kentucky will probably never lift another finger to help us again. When the people that will be actually grateful for their assistance in the future and not just looking for a hand out will be the ones that suffer. Though I didn't hear of anything like this in Chattanooga, I wouldn't be surprised if this scene was repeated elsewhere and often.

4. Those are my rants for now. Clearly in #3 you can understand where all the anger comes from. It's also biases people's opinion against the real issues surrounding the city every hurricane season. The people that chose to be ignorant in 1 or 2 probably know somebody that volunteered.


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Bar Poker

Date: Mon, Sep 8, 2008 Live

Still evacuated. With my two dogs and all the hassle of getting everything together to head north, I'm waiting on Ike before I head back. Of course that storm has taken forever to get into the gulf and nobody knows what it's doing. Yesterday half the computer models had it going to Texas the other half had it going to Florida. I just checked and almost all of them having it go to Texas or well west of New Orleans. Looks like I might be headed back tomorrow. The latest models: http://www.nola.com/hurricane-ike/wide.ssf?http://my.sfwmd.gov/sfwmd/common/images/weather/plots/storm_09.gif. I found that on NOLA dot.com. There also have a pretty good interactive graphic of Gustave's storm surge on there, and some news such as the first post-Gustave muder (what a milestone).

So, bored I drive down to the ATL to visit two college buddies on Saturday and watch Richmond upend UVA (or so we planned). I felt we outplayed UVA for much of the game just couldn't score. UVA did enough to win and had a few huge defensive plays such as an int from the goal line late in the fourth returned deep into our half to put the game away. Would have been sweet for the little spiders to pull off the upset. Course they might just win an FCS national championship and probably only Appy State was better than them last year. Also, Tim Hightower our stud running back and rookie fantasy sleeper on the Arizona Cardinals got his first td yesterday.

So we were about to leave and head on to other things when we notice the bar we are in, a smoker's paradise and a lung cancer patient's hell, started to set up some poker tables. I ask the guy the deal and it's a league of sorts. Okay, what's the buy-in. It's free of course. What do you win. If you finish in the top three you can come back in two weeks and play for a couple of grand. I ask if that was real money. Yeah. I ask again. Yeah. Well, that's not terrible. If I'm still stuck in TN because Ike turns into a monster then I might like some more live action. Or I'll just let one of my friends play for the pot. Alright, we'll scratch my poker jones and play.

Small problem, my friends don't want to commit to the four hours of play to win nothing that night. Oh. Plus, we have to meet a guy named Michael Scott (I wondered if he was going to bring Dwight Shrute and Pam and Jim) who was from the same office as one of my friends. Hmmm. I really want to play.

We are going to play elite pro in a donkament style. Where the 1500 buy-in is less than a big hand they'd play so they just try to build a huge early stack or go home. And based on the pre tournament chatter I felt like I was about that much better than the lunchboxes who were going to play. My friends weren't really grasping the concept. Okay, just go all in every hand until you get called down. You either win a big pot or we leave. It's a freeroll right. Either you got a legtimate chance to play in the finals, or we get knocked out in 5 minutes--win, win.

So we sit down, and it's a typical bar room game, at least at my table. Limp, Limp, raise, call, call, call, call, all the way to me in the blind. 94 o/s Ship it. Passive table folds. Second hand the exact same thing happens, I think I might have a Jack. Ship it. Table folds. Looks like I won't get my double up but I am accumalating chips. Third hand more of the same. Ship it. Table folds. Fourth hand I look down at AJ. Okay, I don't mind being called with this. The idiots try to limp their way to another pot. At this point, if I were one of them I'd limp with a monster to induce my shipping it, and call. Nobody has a monster. Fold. yes, four hands and I'm chip laden with all the small chips and nobody's called me a maniac yet. Fifth hand I look at 72 o/s and there is a raise, a reraise (substantial) and a call. I laid down. The board was all faces and the reraiser connected pretty good and the other two fold to his bet.

I actually have enough of a chip lead that I going to play a little bit of poker. My friends on their tables have been doing the same and have some chips. Pure maniac agression might just be the optimal strategy. I get two fours and don't shove. I want to hit a set and felt somebody. I hit my set and there is two spades on the board. I tell the table they know what's coming. They are going to have to play for all their chips. I shove. Folded around to one guy who insta-calls. Set over set maybe. No, meager little flush draw. Alright, I've probably doubled or tripled my stack, I don't care if he hits. This is just the situation I wanted anyway.

Turn is a spade. Table celebrates because the maniac has lost a pot. Blissfully, unaware that the board could pair. I contemplate interupting their celebrations a bit but the dealer fires off a river brick. Okay, what do I owe.

I'm told he has me covered. What? I've won just about every pot we've played. He hasn't won a hand. What do you mean he has me covered. The guy shows me a stack of huge chips he's got at the bottom of his stack. Where the f did those come from? The "floor" comes over and says you get extra chips for drinking. Like for every drink you get 20% of your starting stack. He says I'm gone. Wait a second, Scooter, I've been drinking in that bar for four hours. Me and my friends just cleared a $100 tab to walk over here. Where the f are my extra chips. I needed to ask for them before the hand. Just then I notice a waitress come to the table and give a guy a drink and drop two of the big chips in front of him. WTF. Alright.

I'm steaming a bit. And railbirding my two friends, in a bar freeroll. Yeah. Fun.

One of my friends had a big stack, and apparently had been honoring the all in or nothing strategy no matter what. I tell him to buy a drink and he can get more chips. You can just drink your way to the victory here. That's got to be some huge liability for the bar and the poker league. So I get over and he's got some big hands and people call him down with crap (I guess you do that when the guy goes all-in every time). And he wins enough to stay ahead or at least wins vs. all the little stacks.

F this, people are still getting seated. I go to the car take off my hat and my top shirt and decide I'm going to SuperBill my way back into this little fiasco. I ask the floor guy if I can still play. He tilts his head like a confused dog. "Yes... But..." another head tilt as he's staring at me"Not..." the head goes back and forth from side to side "If... You already played?" The jig is up. "Yeah, I've played poker before." He sizes me up and down and despite my clever disguise of taking off my hat and shirt recognizes me as the guy who five minutes okay bitch about the secret stash of chips. I WAS SO CLOSE! "No." He says. Like the time me and my friends got kicked out a bar in DC, we walked down the steps and turned our hats around and walked back up. The Bouncer goes, "Is that literally the best you come up with?" "Ah, it was worth a try right?" "No."

Hmmm. Still railbirding... a bar game.... A freeroll bar game. People are bragging about the one time they got a full house. "Does that beat a flush." "You know my son plays a lot of online poker." "Does he play on one of those online sites?" (he plays online... online? You don't say). "He plays on Yahoo." I want to shoot myself listening to these snippets of dumbness, such as this debate "But two pair is more than three of a kind. I got to hit four cards to make my hand you have to hit three (can't argue with that). Well, two pair should be worth more." Karma I guess for talking my friends into playing.

I tell my other friend about the drink trick to get free chips and he's like "Oh, yeah." He's got a mountain of chips. Oh, he's the one that got the credit for our four hour tab. He's at a table with 8 women. He's flirting with a 50 year old with a garish Poker t-shirt. She works for the league and is playing.

My first friend gets eliminated after never stopping going all in. He won a hand with 7-2. No wonder he was getting called with anything. The guy with the chips and the chicks isn't going anywhere.

More table banter assaults my brain. "I tell you something about that World Series of Poker on the TV, on the ESP...N I heard that Chris Moneymaker was a plant by ESPN and the casino and the entire final table was scripted. If not for them the game would have never taken off. And I know that Moneymaker gets a million every year from Harrahs just to keep his mouth shut. " "I heard the same thing." "All those TV tables are like that. The ESPN puts so much money into the prize pool they get to decide whose going to win (which is wrong on so many levels)."

Argh. I'm really bored. Well, why not try my ruse again. Back to the car I put back on my hat and shirt.

I walk up to the same floor guy. Fully aware of the transparency of my plan but more for a reaction than to actually get in. I have the hat pulled down really low and I tap him on the arm. I change my voice a little bit to a ridiculous comic rasp, "Can I buy in?"
He's more than dumbfounded. "Did you just change shirts... Did you think that would work?"
I don't look up, "Is that a no?"
"No, no, no." He doesn't grasp any of the humor that I'm getting out of this.

Railbird again.

That's it for now. Oh yeah, the surviving friend at the urging of the other friend at one point started an all-in convoy and got knocked out.

Can't wait for some real action. I might just head west to Tunica.

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