And this is why they're called 'fish'...

Date: Tue, Jan 8, 2008 Internet

Trout Poker, from the gallery of Matthew C. O'Connor

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Late Night Poker is only darkened by celebrity

Date: Mon, Jan 7, 2008 Internet

Genuinely crushed by today's discovery that one TV celebrity crap-fest is no sooner behind us than we must brace ourselves for another one, I suppose I should have absorbed tonight's re-appearance of Late Night Poker on UK Screens more philosophically.

But I can't. Because I'm sick and tired of dimwits in politics, business and the media who just won't learn.

Late Night Poker became seminal for the game in Britain long before online poker rooms had sunk into the national consciousness or before we'd even heard of Chris Moneymaker.

Channel 4, who once really knew what taking risks meant, stuck a card game on TV in the witching hours back in 1999 and the magic unfolded.

A semi-darkened room. Some pseudo-Hammer Films lighting. Money, tension, gambling and someone called Hellmuth who acted his age and wore a shirt and tie.

It was instant glamour, yet it owed nothing to the vacuous god Celebrity. Hardly anyone had heard of the players and it didn't matter a jot. The game was king and charisma was built on the back of skill, nerve and genuine personality, not on the banal rantings of a press office in overdrive.

You'd think someone at Channel 4 might have learnt from that.

Think again. When Late Night Poker returns to our screens tonight, it will be "with a special celebrity edition to kick things off."

I'm not even going to give those celebrities house-room on these pages. Suffice it to say that if we're extending the term 'celebrity' to the Howard Marks of this world, then Society is in an even bigger mess than I thought.

What a relief that the man credited with bringing Late Night Poker to life nine years ago, Rob Gardner, has already been honoured for doing so in the European Poker Awards, because whoever tainted the show's original understated charm with this fatuous 'celebrity' moniker has done his legacy few favours.

Maybe we should just be thankful that the players aren't being asked to skate around the table between hands.

At least I don't think they've been asked...

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Full Tilt Poker - Let the Madness Begin

Date: Fri, Jan 4, 2008 Internet

Full Tilt's Sit & Go Madness is on, this weekend.

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'Bringing Down the House' - a review

Date: Thu, Jan 3, 2008 Internet

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WSOP 2008 toolkit

Date: Mon, Dec 31, 2007 Internet

It's never too early to start getting ready for next year's World Series of Poker beanfeast and Wagering War is proud to be the first poker blogger bringing you the tools no-one else even thinks about:

I. "I paid my own way here, where's MY snazzy shirt?"

Every year, people enter the Main Event entirely under their own steam. No satellites for these people; they flop the entry fee down in hard cash without even blinking.

They are heroes, yet not for them the slick sponsored polo shirt/ bandanna/vest of the humble online qualifier. No sir, they're expected to sit there in sartorial anonymity while suck-out merchants with a fraction of their ability shill in their snappy Full Tilt/Party/PokerStars threads.

It's not right, so for the men among you, I offer this eye-catching number (left) with which to steal the thunder of those whippersnappers. Be the talk of the WSOP (and very much the talk of ESPN's production meetings) in this sexual orientation theme shirt that'll draw crowds wherever you sit.

Savour being the centre of intrigue as spectators try to fathom out whether they should be offended. And count on at least one guy wanting to know how fishy the freerolls are at nobodyknowsImalesbian.com.

Don't ask me where you buy one. I just work with the guy.



II "We can't penalise him for calling you an 'Armpit of Satan', Mr Matusow..."

As passions rise in the seething WSOP cauldron, let others F-bomb their stack to oblivion with a string of self-inflicted 10-minute penalties.

You, meanwhile, enjoy the best of both worlds, keeping the anger while losing the obscenity, thanks to this handy Biblical Curse Generator.

Stock up on 20 of these each day and watch the tournament director impotently look on as you lambast the donkeys at your table:

Hear this, thou armpit of Satan, for you will be thrown into a den of hyperactive lions!

Thou shalt be pursued into the mountains by sex-mad baboons, O ye child of Jezebel!

May you be smitten with all-over boils, O thou dabbler in abominations!

Particularly effective if you look something like like this...


















[Lower photo courtesy of Delgoff]

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Gambling journalism that made me smile

Date: Fri, Dec 28, 2007 Internet

Just when I was still chuckling at the irony of American white folk fretting over all their land falling into Indian hands, I came across this cameo of eloquence in the Nepal Telegraph:

"Talking to reporters the Manager of the NRC Mr. Bharat Kumar Shakya held that the Hong Kong Court’s decision has upheld the truth and truth only.

The Patan Appellate court in Nepal upon receiving the Hong Kong Court’s decision may give its final verdict favoring, Mr. R.D.Tuttle - the real Casino King.

With the latest decision made by the Hong Kong Court, Rakesh Wadhwa and his associates are panicked, say reports."

Maybe there are bigger power struggles going on in world gaming right now. I doubt any of them will be more beautifully reported.

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Don't expect a killer chapter on Sit and Gos...

Date: Wed, Dec 26, 2007 Internet

Looking for a rather different gambling read this Christmas?

Try The Gaming Table, its Votaries & Victims, among this collection of old books now available free as e-books.

Elsewhere in the same collection, there is Poker!, written proof that the game's vocabulary has altered somewhat:

SCENE--

A shabby front room in a shotgun house.

A door covered by dingy portieres upstage C. Small panel window in side Wall L. Plain centre table with chairs drawn up about it. Gaudy calendars on wall. Battered piano against wall R. Kerosene lamp with reflector against wall on either side of room.

At rise of curtain NUNKIE is at piano playing.... Others at table with small stacks of chips before each man. TUSH HAWG is seated at table so that he faces audience. He is expertly riffing the cards ... looks over his shoulder and speaks to NUNKIE.

TUSH HAWG Come on here, Nunkie--and take a hand! You're holding up the game. You been woofin' round here about the poker you can play--now do it!

NUNKIE Yeah, I plays poker. I plays the piano and Gawd knows I plays the devil. I'm Uncle Bob with a wooden leg!

BLACK BABY Aw, you can be had! Come on and get in the game! My britches is cryin' for your money! Come on, don't give the healer no trouble!

NUNKIE Soon as I play the deck I'm comin' and take you alls money! Don' rush me.

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'Tis the season...

Date: Tue, Dec 25, 2007 Internet

And a big 'thank you' for helping push this blog over the 5,000 hits mark recently - peanuts to some sites but a landmark to this one.



















[pic courtesy of Arbron]

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Mansion Poker in the doghouse

Date: Mon, Dec 24, 2007 Internet

This used to be a wonderful time of year for online poker.

Two or three years ago, you couldn't clear your e-mail fast enough, so thickly did those Christmas freeroll offers rain down upon you. They were the natural consequence of a booming market and so many online rooms trying to grab a piece of it.

I knew at the time that it couldn't last and said so. Sadly, comparative austerity has arrived. If Christmas still represents a freeroll frenzy, then no-one is telling me about it. Nowadays, I have to make do with offers of bonuses that fail to materialise.

Earlier this year it was Oddsmaker Poker, promising me a generous donation in my account if I would just open one with them. I did and am yet to receive a cent.

Now Mansion Poker join the Wagering War wall of shame. Install us, register with us and e-mail us and we'll credit you a free $15 directly into your account, they said in a letter.

I did all of this over a week ago. Fifteen minutes of my life I'll never see again and I still haven't a penny to show for it. Maybe they and Oddsmaker have some detail tucked away in their small print with which I failed to comply, in which case I suggest they need to spell it out in the large print if it's so fundamental.

Either way, this is an open letter to every other online poker room that may have the name 'Jeffrey Prest' on their 'special offers' mailing list.

Do yourself a favour and remove it. As some of you struggle to fulfil even your ordinary offers these days - like keeping your word - I am closed for business where your special offers are concerned.

If I patronise your rooms now, it's on my terms. Shove your bonuses where the sun doesn't shine.

And take a hint from the room whose logo this blog is proud to carry. Not only do Full Tilt pay me, they pay me when they say they will. Unfailingly. Every month for close on three years. They could drop me tomorrow and it will still have been a pleasure doing business with them.


[photo courtesy of No Prawns' Photos]

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Pulling back the curtain on Nevada's 'poor relations'

Date: Sat, Dec 22, 2007 Internet

I occasionally wonder how Nevada's other cities feel about living in the shadow of Las Vegas.

Maybe the comments that follow this article on Reno's new Tuscany Tower offer a small clue.

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Hachem the real moneymaker

Date: Fri, Dec 21, 2007 Internet

So much is written about Chris Moneymaker's ground-breaking World Championship in 2003 that I was curious as to how he's done since. The following are the average cash-out per tournament figures for him and his two immediate successors to the crown since each of them became world champ:

1. Joe Hachem (2005) $135,938.22 ($2,990,641 from 22 tournaments; 2 wins)
2. Greg Raymer (2004) $31,603.11 ($853,284 from 27 tournaments; 3 wins)
   
3. Chris Moneymaker (2003) $10,725.32 ($268,133 from 25 tournaments; 1 win)

Stats courtesy of The Hendon Mob Database.

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Brunson remembers his favourite Chip

Date: Wed, Dec 19, 2007 Internet

Adding a personal touch to the media coverage, Doyle Brunson's Blog offers a touching account of the final hours of the late Chip Reese (pictured):

"All I know is that my buddy is gone and I can’t stop mourning over our loss. He was always there for me and my life will never be the same. There are no promises for tomorrow for any of us."

Of no consequence at such a time, yet eye-catching nonetheless, is the inadvertent, mind-boggling hint he drops as to just how much money some of these guys salt away through their love of a card game.

"Chip and I invested in some really far out business ventures. We had race horses, TV stations, oil wells, mining companies, sports services, and diamonds. We even went looking for the Titanic and Noah’s Ark."

Still couldn't buy poor Chip more than 56 years, though. There's a lesson there for all of us.

And returning to more prosaic matters, do note Doyle's interesting observations from November as to the harm tournament poker may be doing to the game. It's the first time I've heard this view but it has an undeniable logic to it.

While it could take the best part of a decade, however, I do believe the game's current boom will eventually settle down and both tournament and cash games will find their level.


[photo courtesy of Larry Kang]

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Are you too dumb to read this blog?

Date: Wed, Dec 19, 2007 Internet

Only those educated to postgrad status need apply, according to Wagering War's standing with The Blog Readability Test.

I was getting quite excited as to the reliability of this finding, particularly when my standard 'control experiment' with widgets of this type - bignaturals.com (a sort of breast newsfeed, if you will) - registered only as 'Junior High School'.

Then I noticed that CNN and the Financial Times sites are also 'Junior High'. Ah...

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Poker raid - police plus sting shouldn't always mean showbiz

Date: Mon, Dec 17, 2007 Internet

"WAS A SWAT TEAM NECESSARY FOR VFW POKER RAID?

Police dramatics may have been enhanced by presence of
a reality television crew"

If the Texan police are anything like their British counterparts, I'd say there's absolutely no "may" about it...

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